Sorry, I’m All Tide Up Right Now

There are a lot of things that can present problems for people at this time of year. Eating too much, drinking too much, spending too much, traveling too much, getting stuck in washing machines too much…wait, what was that last one? Naked Aussie Freed From Washer With Olive Oil

The 20-year-old man, identified only as “Laurence,” told Australia’s Fairfax Radio that he was on his way to take a shower on Saturday when he decided to climb into the top-loader to have a bit of fun. The fun quickly evaporated, however, when he realized he couldn’t budge.

He called out to his friend for help, who rang the police. They responded to the scene, along with firefighters, paramedics and a search and rescue squad.

Yes, all of that to get this nimrod out of his washing machine.

But even with all that manpower and the tools that come with it, in the end his escape was only made possible by tipping the machine over and pouring in a bottle of olive oil. Olive oil, it should be noted, that Johnny Spin Cycle here was sad to lose.

“I was quite disappointed they used my good olive oil,” Laurence told Fairfax Radio. “As soon as the washing machine went on its side, it was a bit like a birthing.”

Congratulations, mom and dad! It’s a retard!

And just in case you’ve ever wondered what the police press conference after some numbnuts has just been extricated from an appliance looks like, here ya go.

But he’s not the only one who forgot the washing machines don’t wash humans, only the things that cover them rule. He is joined in this plight by an 11-year-old girl from Utah who got stuck during a game of hide and seek. Yes, this adult man pulled the same stunt as a small child, who did what a lot of small children do because they’re perhaps not yet at the point where they should obviously know better. Well done Laurence, well done.

The girl, from South Jordan, Utah, realised she was not going to be found and tried to climb out of the top-loading washer.

However her legs, in a constricted position, had fallen asleep so she was unable to push herself up – and called for help.

Her parents tried unsuccessfully to remove her for over an hour, using peanut butter, ice and warm water at different points, before calling 911.

Attending fire chief Reed Thompson said the washing machine was beneath a stackable dryer which had to be removed first.

The firemen, who were equipped with tools usually reserved for car crashes according to the Salt Lake Tribune, were prepared to cut her free.

However they managed to get her out of the machine’s door.

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