I’m Going To Hit Some Bicycles, I’m Going To Kill A Tike. And When I Hit Those Bicycles, I’m Going To Sue Them If I’d Like

For some reason I’m really crappy at remembering to give shoutouts to people who send me things. So before I forget, thanks again, Michelle!

I don’t think this one quite hits the state of emergency dickitry levels of police officer sues family of man he killed, but you certainly do have to be somewhere in the vicinity of moral bankruptcy to consider it, and even further along that road to actually go ahead with it.

According to a statement of claim filed in Ontario Superior Court last December by the woman’s lawyer, Sharlene Simon “has sustained and will sustain great pain and suffering,” including “a severe shock to her system” as a result of the crash.

“…her enjoyment of life has been and will be lessened,” the document says.

My god, a crash? She was hit? Is she ok?

Yes, there was a crash. One in which she hit a trio of cyclists, killing one of them.

Wait…what? Who could she possibly be suing?

Also named in the $1.35-million suit are two other boys who were with Brandon Majewski when Ms. Simon’s Kia Sorrento hit the trio, and the County of Simcoe, responsible for maintenance of Innisfil Beach Road in the town of Innisfil, about 80 kilometres north of Toronto.

The name Brandon Majewski is especially important here.


That would be because he’s the dead kid.

Yes, she’s suing the dead kid because *her* quality of life has been diminished.

No matter what he and his friends may or may not have done wrong (much of that is still up in the air thanks to some questionable investigations), I’d call it a safe wager that young Brandon Majewski’s quality of life has been lessened much more so than yours, lady.

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