At Least He Didn’t Ask Anyone To Blow Into This Here Tube

What’s up with the cops these days, man? It seems like if they’re not in the news for roughing up someone else, it’s because they’re too busy doing it to themselves.

Meet Newton, New Jersey police officer Jason Miller, henceforth known as Constable Cocknballs. According to several statements and some video that’s said to not exactly help his cause, he’s been more interested in working the beat than in working the beat, if you catch my drift.

While the affidavit details Miller’s interaction with five men, aged 18 to 26, investigators noted that they have evidence of other “late night or early morning stops involving Officer Miller and young adult males…wherein it appears that Officer Miller’s pants were opened and/or his genitals were exposed and/or a zipper can be heard opening or closing.”
An 18-year-old college student–identified by his initials, J.A.–told police that he was stopped by a Newton officer in September, and that when the cop approached his car, “he noticed the officer’s zipper was down and he saw what he believed to be the officer’s exposed genitals.” Though the driver’s registration and insurance had lapsed, the officer–identified by investigators as Miller–let the teen drive away instead of impounding the car. When later recalling the incident for his girlfriend, “J.A.” said that the cop’s “junk was hanging out.”
“K.K.,” a 23-year-old driver, told police that he was recently stopped by a Newton officer while driving a male friend home after a late night out. The officer, “K.K.” said, “asked him if he
noticed the officer’s zipper was down.” The driver said no. After the traffic stop was completed, the man dropped his friend off and continued driving.
It was then that the driver realized he was being followed by the same officer who had pulled him over. The cop eventually pulled up alongside “K.K.” and motioned for him to roll down his window. “The officer again asked him if he noticed that the officer had his fly down. K.K. again told him no,” according to the affidavit. “The officer asked him if the person he was dropping off was his boyfriend. K.K. told him no, and then told him that he has a girlfriend.” The cop–whom investigators have identified as Miller–then “told him to have a good night and left the area.”

The videos, investigators allege, support their claim that he exposed himself to male drivers. For example, video of a 2:39 AM stop in August “clearly appears” to show Miller’s “pants are open and his genitals are exposed” while he interacts with a 26-year-old driver.
Following a March stop of a man who “acknowledged he was coming from a bar and had consumed alcohol,” Miller returned to his patrol car without having issued summonses or investigated the motorist for drunk driving. On the tape from Miller’s cruiser, “you can hear what appears to be the sound of a zipper opening and/or closing,” according to the affidavit.

Cocknballs has been charged with official misconduct and lewdness and has been indefinitely suspended without pay while the matter is investigated. He is currently free as an uncaged shween on $35000 bail.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.