Who Wants A Crushed One

So it seems that a few weeks before Bud Weisser jumped a fence at the Budweiser brewery, a guy named Miller was busy driving off in a Coors truck, then running himself over with it while trying to get away from the police officers who were chasing him.

Around 5:45 a.m. on Monday, Columbus Police responded to the Circle K on the 1400 block Veterans Pkwy. where a man stole a Coors Light beer truck.
The suspect led police on a chase, which ended at the Bojangles restaurant on Victory Dr.
The suspect, 55-year-old Gregory Miller, jumped out of the semi-truck attempting to elude police. He jumped out of the semi-truck, and ran over his own leg.

The story helpfully goes on to note that Miller, who keep in mind had just driven over himself with an enormously heavy vehicle, was caught at the scene.

He was taken to hospital and was said to be, and this is a quote, “in unsatisfactory condition with a severe ankle injury.” Seems like a matter of perspective, doesn’t it? I’m sure it isn’t all that satisfying for him, but if you’re among those responsible for making sure he stays put, your job just got a whole lot easier, I imagine.

When his condition is to a point satisfactory enough that he’s fit to be released from hospital, police plan to charge him with theft by taking a motor vehicle and eluding police.

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