The Coat May Not Be Fleeced, But You Will Be

I realize I’ve asked this a thousand times, but why does everything need technology in it? Why, for instance, do jackets now require batteries to power their built-in heating systems? Isn’t the coat combined with your own body supposed to be the heating system?

I just get so furious when I read things like this.

I typically turned the jacket on two or three minutes before I left my home because it takes a couple of minutes to heat up.

Made in China, designed in Canada, the Wyne’s heaters cover your back and shoulders. I thought the jacket would need more heating pads, but I found that the amount and their placement was sufficient.
I typically charge the jacket overnight so that I’ll have enough battery during the day when I need it. It sports a 10,000mAh Anker portable USB battery that the company promises lasts for six hours of operation at the cool setting. I only use the jacket at its hottest setting, and after about two hours, it loses more than half its battery.
I often forget to turn off the jacket, which leaves me with a dead coat, but that’s user error. That said, it would be nice if it could somehow tell I wasn’t in it and turn off automatically.
To charge it you have to remove the battery from the jacket and plug it in with a micro USB cable. The removable battery seemed weird at first, but it allows you to use other portable batteries to extend the jacket’s battery life in the future.
Using the jacket without the heat will keep you warm if it’s above minus 5 degrees Celcius, but anything below that, you’re going to be chilly.

Dude. Seriously. Just buy a decent fucking coat. Like one of the zillion that will keep you warm when it’s winter in Canada without you having to deal with all that ridiculous goddamn rigmarole.

In all my years, no matter how rich or how poor I have been, I have not once owned a winter coat that didn’t keep the parts of me it covered sufficiently warm. Whether I spent 50 bucks or a couple hundred, it was always fine. Why in hell would anyone want to spend $430 on something that’s going to shit out after an hour or two and render itself incompetent at its one job if the weather decides to dip below freezing?

This is a solution in search of a problem. It can feel free to piss right off.

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