I Can’t Believe I’m Saying This, But PETA Might Be On To Something

It used to be that we wrote about the silly ass things PETA said with enough regularity that one day we decided it needed its own section. It has one, but nothing has been posted to it in nearly 12 years. Their dumb publicity stunts got old and we just stopped caring.

But today it comes back from the dead.

Yes, it’s just because they’re out here attention seeking again. They’re even basing their suggestion on a premise that isn’t really correct. But you know what? This one is just the right amount of goofy that I think it might end up growing on me.

As the World Series turns into a pitching duel, PETA is pitching a proposal to the baseball world: Strike out the word “bullpen,” which references the holding area where terrified bulls are kept before slaughter, in favor of a more modern, animal-friendly term. PETA’s suggestion? The arm barn!
“Words matter, and baseball ‘bullpens’ devalue talented players and mock the misery of sensitive animals,” says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman. “PETA encourages Major League Baseball coaches, announcers, players, and fans to changeup their language and embrace the ‘arm barn’ instead.”

Never mind that barns haven’t always been so great for animals over the years either or that it kind of sounds like bad things might be happening to people in there. A good idea is a good idea, and how can you not like the frigging arm barn!? You can’t not like it. You just can’t!

“Here comes Romano trotting in from the arm barn.”

Arm barn!

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