To borrow a phrase from Carin in her sleep that one time, them old guys, shittin’ everywhere! I don’t know why he did that.

For unknown reasons, the Florida Man, 64, walked “fully naked” up the driveway of his next-door neighbor and proceeded to defecate atop a glass table on the victim’s porch, according to police.
Carlyle was arrested Friday afternoon for criminal mischief and booked into the county jail on the misdemeanor charge.
Carlyle, cops say, was captured relieving himself in broad daylight “on two separate angles of the victim’s home security video footage.”
When officers arrived at the Clearwater crime scene, Carlyle was spoken to “through the door of his RV camper and he was still visibly naked and highly uncooperative.”

As noted, there is nothing offered in the way of explanation for why he might have felt the need to do this. All we have to go on (aside from the table, obviously) is that we’re dealing with a fellow who was, at the time of the dirty bombing, free on $11,500 bond after having been arrested a few months earlier for allegedly driving drunk and shooting guns into a lake near his house. We’re not sure why he did that either, come to think of it. Maybe he just really dislikes his neighbourhood.

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