Last Updated on: 20th May 2026, 05:44 pm
Believe it or not, I actually know a couple of guys who tried to pull off the old switch places during a traffic stop thing once. They were both drinking, but decided, in their infinite wisdom, that the one that didn’t have a driver’s license was in better shape and thus less likely to get them into trouble out on the roads. I don’t know what it was that caused them to get pulled over, but of course they did. And it was at that point it dawned on them that the first part of the sentence “license and registration, please” is license, and that the guy who had a valid one ought to be the one providing them. This all worked out as well as you’d figure, and the two of them ended up heading to the tank until some people who are far too nice came down and bailed them out.
Dumb as that was, though, it was a Mensa meting compared to this. At least the guys in my story were A: alone together and B: both human beings.
Springfield Police Chief Clay Klipfel conducted a traffic stop on a driver who was going 52 mph in a 30 mph zone about 11:30 p.m. Saturday near West 7th Avenue and Main Street in the Town of Springfield, according to police.
The driver attempted to switch places with his dog, which was in the passenger seat of the Dodge Challenger – a process that Klipfel watched as he walked toward the car, police said.
The suspect – who had clear signs of intoxication, according to police – got out of the passenger side of the car and told the chief that he wasn’t the one driving. When Klipfel asked whether he’d been drinking, the man tried to run away, police said.
The suspect’s getaway attempt was cut short about 20 yards from the car when he was apprehended.
A man and a woman who were sober were in the backseat. The car belonged to the woman, Klipfel said.
This idiot better have credibly threatened to kill those other two people, because otherwise they’re no smarter than he is. There are two of you. Both of you are sober. One of you owns the car. Make better choices, for god’s sake!
the driver was arrested on a couple of warrants, plus charged with driving under the influence, driving while ability impaired, driving under suspension, speeding and resisting arrest.
The dog was released into the custody of the sober people, who were allowed to continue on their way rather than be sent for mental health evaluations that they could probably have used.