Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Prison Employs Inmates As Guards
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A short-staffed prison in Mexico has hired 42 of its most fearsome inmates to act as guards.
The convicts-turned-wardens will each be paid between £20 and £100 a month.
They will help the real guards keep control in the overcrowded prison at Tepic.
According to Mexican newspaper Reforma, the prisoners chosen were those who instilled the most fear in their fellow inmates.
This
video is really funny.
It was done by the people at The Daily Show, which is one of the funniest shows on TV.
You’ll need Quicktime or Quicktime Alternative to watch it and it might take a little while to download if your connection is slow. Mine isn’t and it still took a couple of minutes so be warned. It’s worth the wait though.
I’m not sure how many places have this now but where I live and at a bunch of other locations I’ve been to lately McDonald’s will sell you apple slices instead of fries. It’s part of their new healthy eating campaign since everybody’s all over them for making people fat.
Well I learned something about those apple slices yesterday that I didn’t know. Ok, actually 2 things. Number 1 they’re brown, at least the ones my buddy had last night were and number 2, they give you caramel sauce to dip them in. Yeah, that’s real healthy there guys, nice job. Did somebody actually sit in a meeting at headquarters and come up with that? “Switch the oil for the sugar, they’ll never know.” It’s only a matter of time before they start deep frying the things and we’ll be right back where we started.
If you haven’t already seen it, scroll down the page a couple of posts and read the post called Consider Yourself Warned so you’ll know what this is all about.
Somebody calling him or herself Mmm Mmm Good, This is downrigh, [which is one of the strangest names I’ve ever heard,] submitted this one. It’s pretty bad even though I’ve heard it before so it didn’t get me as much as it should have.
And remember, I’m not correcting anybody’s spelling for them, this is posted as is.
A new guy at work ask some of his co-workers if there is anything to do around this town. So the go workers take him to the local bar. after an hour of drinking, this girl walks into the bar. the new guy sees her and askes the co-workers who she is. The co-workers say thats Sandpaper Sally. and you do not want to mess with that. The new guy asks why and one of the co-workers says. well everytime u fuck her, it feels like sandpaper.
The new guy doesn’t believe them so he goes over to Sally and starts buying her drinks.
Later that night they are back at her place and they start going at it. after a few seconds the new guys is like “wow this really does feel like sandpaper” Sally says “oh im sorry ill be right back.”
After being in the bathroom for a couple minutes. shes comes back out and they start going at it again. its feeling great. The new guy asks, “This feels great, did u use some motion lotion?”.
Sally says “No, i just picked the scabbs and let the puss run out.
I haven’t been around much lately and I’m sure you’re all wondering just where I’ve been. What’s that? You aren’t? Well too bad, I’m telling you anyway.
I’ve mostly been spending my time slowly but surely taking over
Salty Ham.
You can find something I’ve done there pretty much every day, even if you don’t know it’s me. I’m in Sports, Wrestling and Music now and I’m sure that in time that whole place will be all mine. Watch out Roland, I’m out to take your thankless non-paying job away from you, this is war!
Seriously though, Salty Ham is a great site, there’s something for everyone there, go check it out, but not before you read what’s here.
I’ve also been spending some time being insulted by losers who phone me at the radio station to try to get attention. The latest developments on that front are that my show sucks, I’m a fucking hack, and my buddy’s a dork. Film at 11.
And then there was yesterday, a day of extreme highs and lows. On the high end, I attended the Cheap Trick/Aerosmith concert last night. On the down side, the concert took place in Hamilton, which has to be one of the smelliest cities I’ve ever had the misfortune of passing through. Honestly, that town fucking stinks, there’s no nice way to say it.
It’s not as bad once you’re off the main highway on your way in, but it’s still bad. It sort of smells like burning rubber and hot metal all the time, and when it crosses with the smell of Kentucky Fried Chicken, it becomes something that I wouldn’t wish on even my fiercest of enemies.
And don’t get me started on the chicken smell either. At times I was wondering if somebody pinched a loaf in a bucket of KFC and just left it to sit in the street, it’s really that bad there.
If anybody from Hamilton is reading this, please tell me how you can live in that town. I guess after awhile you’d probably get used to it, but why would you want to? I mean come on, Toronto smells nicer than your town and when you’re not as polluted as Toronto, you need to take a good long look at yourself and maybe consider some sort of clean air initiative.
Wait, there is one city that smells worse than yours, Buffalo New York, Hamilton is untouched, unspoiled and pristine to breathe by comparison to that fucking dump.
So now that I’ve pissed a bunch of you off by wounding your hometown pride, let’s talk Aerosmith.
They put on an absolutely amazing show and as much as it pains me to say this, my favourite concert ever isn’t a tie between Big Sugar and Hootie And The Blowfish anymore, Aerosmith just blew me away. I’m not sure if I’ve ever seen a band that had so much energy before and they seemed genuinely happy to be there playing for us. Add to that that they’re an amazing live band and you’ve got yourself a 5 star concert. There were some songs that I would have liked to hear them do instead of some of what they did but you’ll get that with any show you go to so I won’t spend any time harping on that. Besides, when a band can get you to enjoy songs that you really don’t like, they’re doing something right.
Cheap Trick on the other hand was a bit of a disappointment. Strike 1 against them was that they seemed to be having some sort of sound problems that they didn’t get straightened out until about the last 4 or 5 songs of their set, which thankfully were some of their best stuff both of the night and in general so it wasn’t all bad.
Strike 2 was that they just didn’t have any spark and it seemed to me like they were just kind of going through the motions like it was another day at the office. That doesn’t work for any band, but when you’re Cheap Trick and Aerosmith offers to let you open for them, you’d better damn well play like you still have some sort of a career left to build on. They didn’t and while I won’t come right out and say that they sucked, I’ll say that I expected more out of their show than what it ended up delivering.
Over all though it was a great night of entertainment and well worth the money, other than the $9.50 they were charging for beer, but what are ya gonna do? And we ended up getting 3 for $14.75 because somebody messed up a calculation so again, I won’t bitch too much.
I think that’s all I’ve got to say for now. I’ll be back with something later, and I promise it won’t be almost a week before it happens this time.
This is honestly the most disgusting joke I’ve ever seen, so I had to share. If you’re not a fan of sick things, first of all what are you doing here and secondly, I’m telling you right now that you’ll want to scroll down and read something else. I’m dead serious, don’t say I didn’t warn you.
By the way, if anybody thinks they’ve got one to top this either leave it on the comment board below this post or
email it to me
and I’ll possibly post it up here on the main site. This could be fun.
A leper goes to watch a baseball game but when he gets there, he has trouble finding a seat. Because pieces of him are peeling and flaking off, he’s very concerned about grossing out the other fans.
The leper wanders through the bleachers looking for a seat where his grotesque appearance won’t disturb anyone. Finally, he finds an open seat where he might be able to watch the game. He asks the man in the adjoining seat if it would be okay to sit there.
The man answers, “Yeah. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game.”
The leper sits down and adds, “As you can see, I have leprosy. If it disturbs you, I’ll move.”
“It doesn’t bother me. Just shut up, and watch the game.”
A while later, during the fourth inning, the man suddenly vomits. Frothy beer, hot dogs, and peanuts are splattered everywhere.
Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, “Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you, but I can see that my appearance has caused you to get sick. I’ll find another place to sit.”
“It’s NOT you. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game.”
So the leper sits back down. But during the sixth inning, the man begins to vomit again. This time it is projectile vomitus. A powerful blast of beer and pretzels shoots out from the man’s mouth and nose until his stomach is completely emptied.
Seeing this, the leper gets up and says, “Thank you for allowing me to sit next to you, but it’s obvious that my appearance has caused you to get sick. I’ll find another place to sit.”
“Really, it’s NOT you…. Just sit down, shut up, and watch the game.”
So the leper sits back down. But during the seventh inning, the man begins to vomit again. This time it is the dry heaves. The leper feels absolutely awful at the sight of this man suffering. And once again, the leper offers to leave.
But the man insists, “Really, it’s NOT you.”
So the leper asks, “Well if it’s not me that is making you so sick, than what is it?”
“It’s that guy behind you… He keeps dipping his nachos in your back!”
The details on this story are still pretty sketchy but I wanted to get it out there to all the hockey fans on our site. Especially those of you who saw last night’s game.
Last night following his terrible game, Patrick Lalime was so overwhelmed with dissapointment and shame that he tried to take his own life right here in Toronto. Lalime climbed up on top of a subway bridge and awaited the next train. Reports say that when he heard the train comming he jumped down in front of it. Remarkably, the train managed to squeak through Lalime’s legs.
Amazing story.
I’ve heard it said many times that God has a sense of humour, and if there is in fact a God, I have proof that he does, and that it’s twisted as hell.
A man who comes from a place not too far away from where I live was recently out driving his car when every driver’s worst nightmare became a reality. He lost control of his vehicle and rolled it several times, ending up far off the side of the road. He came out ok however and even managed to escape the car, for the most part unhurt.
With disaster narrowly averted it was time to plan his next move. He decided to do the only logical thing a person in his situation could do, seek help. So up the hill he climbed, bravely making his way towards the side of the road that had nearly taken his life just moments earlier. Upon his arrival, he was promptly struck and killed by a hit and run driver.
After reading that story, answer this one question for me. Who’s more evil, me for laughing at this or whomever is out there pushing the buttons to run the world for randomly doing stuff like that to fuck with people?
I know I know, it’s less than an hour away from show time but still, better late than never. If you want to check out the Salty Ham Staff’s predictions for tonight’s Backlash PPV, you can do so
here.
Let’s see if I can keep up my good luck streak and maybe overtake a few people and take my rightful place at the top of the heap in this little contest.
Go read Matt’s review of Trapt’s self-titled album, newly posted over at Salty Ham. Doesn’t sound like too bad of a record, until the end that is.
Click here to check it out.
And keep an eye out for some more reviews coming hopefully soon. I got my hands on the new one from the Descendents as well as some classic stuff from some other bands I’ve been meaning to get around to putting up. I’ll keep you posted, or better yet, just go to Salty Ham every day and look for them. There’s something new posted on that site every day somewhere, and they’ve got message boards too so check the place out and have fun, there’s something for everyone there.