Vomit Comet

So it’s graduation day. Ready or not, here we come!

You know, I should not have said nothing else exciting could happen. It wasn’t really exciting. It was more like irritating. I got the wash in and after the resident advisor made the machine actually go, I thought I was groovy. Then I came back to collect my clothes, and wouldn’t you know it, a pair of my underwear were at that spot at the bottom of the machine that short fat me can’t reach. So there I am, doing the bunny dance, trying to hike myself up enough that I can reach it. I didn’t want to call for help again, so I was going to get it, come hell or high water! After several minutes of hiking and grunting, I got it. Then I tried to get the dryer to go, and it would always go for just a few minutes. By the time I figured out that I was incompetent, it was too late to call anyone for help or so I thought. So I had to leave my wet clothes in there all night. Boo!

Luckily, this morning, the nurse fixed me up and de-wrinkled my graduation outfit in the dryer. I’m now wearing it. I should have taken Domino to the free run first. That would have been smart.

I’ve learned that Domino can make noise when he needs something. I’ve had him in the crate for a bunch of the morning while I did laundry and stuff. All of a sudden, he made this low eeee sound. I thought that maybe he’d need to pee since he only pooped this morning. I took him out and he pooped again. Ok. Not what I thought, but it was something.

We have lunch at 11 and then we meet puppy raisers at noon. Then the action starts. Oh! I should bring the gift after lunch. And get the second half from the instructor. And pay her.

I detached my drool rag. There’s no way in hell I’m standing up on stage with a drool rag hanging from my kibble pouch. Kibble pouches are ok. Drool rags are not. At least I don’t think so.

One of my classmates asked me what the theme song was for today. I couldn’t come up with one. But I’ve since come up with 2. Ain’t nothin’ gonna break my stride and we’re here for a good time not a long time. And then Spotify spat out a song comparing Canadians to Americans called “Stronger Beer” by Tim Hicks. Yes. Spotify is listening.

A half hour to lunch. Breathe! Breathe! Breathe! I will not slop on myself. I will not slop on myself. I will not slop on myself!

The instructor brought the other gift and we wrote in the cards. That makes me feel better. Plus I paid her back.

15 minutes to lunch. Breathe. This feels as intense as dog day! I never thought about that!

I feel like a graduation is like a wedding. All this preparation and then bam! It’s over!

I had a big entourage of puppy raisers. There was the lady who started him, (that means raised him when he was a wee thing) until he was 16 weeks old or so, her sister, then the other couple who finished him. They all seem like wonderful people. They all came into the room and then Domino went nuts. He went from one to another and then back again. One set of raisers gave me a pin that is half Canadian flag and half Nevada flag. I think that’s adorable. They also gave me a picture of Domino’s dad from last years GDB calendar.

Next, it was picture time. Of course Domino was photogenic.

Then we went into the dining room and there were snacks for them. Then I went back to my room and I took Domino to relieve. I said to myself “Grab a poop bag!” But I was so busy grabbing the gentle leader that I didn’t. And he pooped! I tried to get Aira to help me rescue it, but the connection went out. So I had to abort the mission. I could not afford to step in poop! At least he was kind enough to poop near the fence.

Then we all went to the visitor’s centre where the graduation happened. I didn’t have a speech prepared so I just let words come. We had joked that the newbie’s dog would misbehave, but mine was the brat. He just couldn’t hold it together.

I guess the stream worked well because a few people have watched it and commented on it.

After it was over, a friend came over who had come to see me. That was nice. She gave me a bracelet with a star and a paw print. Pretty cool. Her grandkids came and Domino licked the heck out of them.

So the puppy raisers and I are going out for dinner. That should be fun. And it’ll be time in no time flat.

I’ve been packing fiendishly. The part of the room I call dog equipment alley is cleaned out. There are just electronics and chargers, and some meds and toiletries, and of course Santa. I could never forget Santa. I have to weigh my luggage on the dog scale to see if it went over 50 pounds. I just don’t know.

I asked the instructor about Domino’s drawing and she explained how he made it again. They put drops of paint on a paper inside a Ziploc bag and then cover the bag with something yummy to lick off, and then they lick off the bag and the pressure of their nose makes the painting. Ooo! Domino is Jackson Pollock!

Domino just asked to go to the crate. He was snuffling around near the people-eating chair. I say that because I’m short and can barely touch the ground when I’m in it. It’s a very comfy chair. It’s the best people-eating chair one could ever ask for. But one of his beds used to hang out there. But I put it in his crate because I’m taking home the one that was in his crate. So he started nudging the chair. So I walked over to his crate and he just shot in there. Now he’s all peaceful.

He growls in his sleep too. It’s so cute.

I will be headed dinnerward. The newbie looks so relieved that things are over.

We headed to the car and they had their puppy in training in the back. I guess he’s Domino’s cousin and they were raising them both together for a while. We tried to go to one place, but it was super crowded and super nuts so we went to another one. We all met up and they all had puppies in training. So we had 4 pups under the table. The food was delicious even though, again, I couldn’t finish it. We had a really fun conversation. We even joked about songs. My classmates would be so happy.

Domino acted like a bit of a dork, but I couldn’t blame him. Everyone who had meant anything to him was there. But he was pretty good. I’m a little worried about his head collar. He seemed to have a bigger reaction to wearing it than he has done historically. But then again, the whole time he was wearing it, he was lying under a table in close proximity to friendly puppies. But when we were getting back in the car, he didn’t want to get in. I’m not sure why. I’ll keep an eye on that.

I weighed my suitcase and it’s well under 50 pounds so all is good. My backpack will bulge but it will get the job done. I have rounded up what I can. The rest I will hoover up in the morning.

Ready to start our crazy adventures together, Domino?

Ee ee ee! Training is essentially over. All we have to do is go to the gift shop and get ready to get out of here. I’m mildly concerned that my suitcase might protest under the weight of old and new cargo and I might have to do some rearranging. But I’m not terrified, just a little worried. It’s a good problem to have.

This morning, we went on a trail and enjoyed the peace of it. Domino only got a bit confused once. Then when we got back, one classmate said he didn’t remember going through the overhead obstacle course so we all did it. I need to be more methodical about my probing for stuff above my legs, but that’s on me.

Lunch was a giant burrito (in honour of Cinco de Mayo) and key lime cheesecake. Nom! Tonight is personal pizzas. Yum.

I forgot to mention that this morning, I tried out their poop retrieving technique where instead of straddling his tush, I stand beside him. Then I bring him close, have him sit and then pick it up. So far, that’s working.

I have learned today that he is a fierce tugger. He tugs in short bursts and then stops. We were out on the patio near the chair that’s out there and he turned my sitting area into a shitting area. It’s a good thing I caught him. Hmm. Will it be safe to tug indoors? He probably knows.

Did I mention that my instructor is my hero and is going to the Made in Oregon store closer to here and will get me the exact same thing I bought before so I can give each raiser the same thing. So that’s great. I should probably check to see if my classmate needs help with the braille on the laundry.

Domino just asked me to hold his bone while he chewed it! That’s new.

Just groomed him and am going to get the resident advisor to check if I’m doing his tail well enough. Also, they’re already talking about how we’re getting booted out. We have to clear out of our rooms by 6:30 Sunday morning so the cleaning staff can have them ready for the next load of students. My driver doesn’t come and scoop me up until 8:00 I think. My flight is at 11:15. But that’s Sunday. I have to get through tomorrow.

I have a small problem. I have drained my food supply for Domino. There isn’t any more food for the morning. I mean, I’m sure they’ll give me more, but was I supposed to run out? Was the food they gave me supposed to carry me through the whole training. I’m worried I may have been heaping the cups. They didn’t look heaped, but did I slide? Or did they just make a rough estimate and my dog was on the higher end, so ran out. We’ll find out soon. Phew! I didn’t screw it up. They just fill up a couple bins and that’s that. They gave me another one.

Some help I turned out to be with the laundry. Turns out you have to do other messing around with the puff paint dots to get it to go. Fail! I went to do my own laundry and couldn’t for the life of me get it to go. It’s going now. And Domino’s tail looks fuzzy good.

Tired! Need to finish laundry. Need to roll my freshly-clean clothes and get everything contained. But also need to pack a fleece because it’s one of the bigger things. But Domino is sleeping on the fleece. Maybe do switcheroo after relieving? Yeah. Also need to grab melatonin. Hopefully nothing exciting will happen now. I should send this off and just try to pack pack pack.

Good day, and welcome to day 12. I just had to do that for my fellow Canadian in class. To find each other once, we made the Bob and Doug call. I’m sure the instructors thought we were loopy.

I’m not sure what we’re doing. The schedule is a little vague. I think we’re going to a place called Fairview to do escalators. There are lectures and who knows what else. I hear thunder in the distance. I wonder what that means.

Well, it meant rain. I had to wear my raincoat, but not the rain pants or boots. It wasn’t quite that biblical.

We had a lecture about bringing our dogs home, and then we headed out. On our way to the vans, they videotaped our pace. We went to I think a Fred Meyer store. It had an escalator and a Starbucks. We sat at the Starbucks while each of us did some escalators and then walked around a neighbourhood. First, we walked through the store and got to feel Domino make turns when there is no straight line. It was still purposeful even though I didn’t tell him to turn. People talked about how cute he is. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that when I was in Portland, 2 different people yelled out their car windows that Domino is a good-looking dog.

We did the neighbourhood and halfway through, it started to rain. I did not enjoy wearing a hood, and my instructor said I should invest in a waterproof ball cap. I’ve never heard of such a thing.

During this route, the instructor tried to let me do more problem solving, which started to feel good. One time, I crossed and turned, and I thought my alignment was off because of the way a car sounded in the rain, so screwed it up. My instructor eventually told me I did it right the first time. As a goofy aside, we discovered this morning that Domino loves it if you blow raspberries at him.

We got back to campus and I toweled off a drenched Domino. Lunch was a cheeseburger and tater tots. Dessert was chocolate cake.

In the afternoon, I did a little more work on sidewalkless and it felt better. Domino stuck close to the curb. On our way to sidewalkless, they really tried to distract us with a very playful dog. Domino tried his best to ignore him, but he eventually gave in. They said that would be one of the worst distractions I would have, and I had to correct him hard to get him past it, but he got the message and the correction was way milder than I’ve had to give before.

We went out to a neighbourhood full of narrow passages and things he had to stop to show me. We got pretty good at navigating stuff. And the rain slowed down for a while. She also showed me how to click for pace, so how to click when he’s at a good pace in case things get weird when I get home.

We then went to a lecture about the vet financial assistance program and client services. It was a lot of stuff I’d heard before. One thing I learned was I asked if the BeMyEyes special help service worked for Canadians because I could never get through, and he said he is one of the few people who answers the BeMyEyes calls. So he was probably busy. So what I should do is call the support centre and book a time. Marketing should really explain that better.

During this meeting, I realized that one of my pills was not in my pocket. I could not focus on the meeting as I frantically searched the immediate area as quietly as I could, because we were on a Zoom video call. Eventually I had to confess that one of my pills may have fallen out. We looked in the room and in the van and there was no sign of it. The vet said if a dog got it, the worst that would happen was a bit of lethargy because it was a blood pressure pill. But I have to contain my pills better so that doesn’t happen again. The last time I dropped a pill was when I thought Babs got some Cortef way back in training.

Then we played with the flexi. Domino is much more subdued than Tansy ever was. I just have to worry about him trying to eat pine cones.

then I was late for supper. Oops! But they were nice about it. Dinner was this roasted cauliflower and a twice baked potato. And I couldn’t resist the chocolate cake.

Then we went to the instructor’s office and picked up a tiedown, plus a collar that can be used to loop around furniture so you don’t have to use any of the tiedown’s length, a bag of food, and some paperwork including all the stuff I’ll need for flying. There’s also a paper copy of the vet records and the school ID.

I’m so tired that I misplaced the dog’s dish. Who misplaces a dog’s dish? A zombie, that’s who. Then I got a phone call from the Resident Advisor. Apparently someone had given my puppy raisers her number instead of mine! So I called them back and we had a nice chat. They’re driving up from Nevada tomorrow and they’re bringing their current puppy in training. I guess the guy is originally from Vancouver. So cool.

Now I need to fall down go snore. Tomorrow is the last day before graduation. Eek! The nurse says I should make up some words to the Domino song and sing them at graduation since I’m always talking about songs. I don’t know if I can pull that off. It would be a funny idea though. I do have to write the thank you note to go with their gift. That I can do.

Man, that foot soak last night worked miracles on my poor feet. I wonder how long those effects will last.

It’s Portland day. The day where we cram in all the city work. Malls, escalators, food courts, farmer’s markets, you want it, they’ve got it.

We also talked about airports. I learned something new. Now they advocate that you take off the dog’s whole harness when you’re on the plane. If you leave the body on, and it bulges out, the dog could use it as a chew toy. Hmm. Who was the schmuck who taught them that lesson, I wonder?

Also, I walked through the fake TSA checkpoint and figured out why I’ve been screwing it up lately. You’re not supposed to make a loop at long leash, you’re supposed to have the leash fully extended and hold the tippy end. So that’s why I keep getting molested.

Domino fit remarkably well under the airplane seat for being a bigger dog. This won’t be so bad!

We got some good news. It sounds like all of our puppy raisers are coming. Woo! Even Nevada guy! I get to see Domino go loopy.

We drove to Portland and scooted through a farmer’s market. It wasn’t super busy yet, but it was busy enough. Then we went down some stairs and into a shopping mall. We did some escalators and we took some pictures of Domino and I on the sky bridge. Then we moseyed through the food court. Domino had his back booties and his gentle leader on and he moved through like a champ. We sat and ate our delicious bag lunches and then I went into a store called “Made in Oregon” and I bought his raiser some stuff. I hope he likes it. Then we took another escalator and left the mall. We walked to a coffee shop called Case Study Coffee and I got an iced tea. On our way there, Domino slowed down to size up some brass figures of animals in a water feature, not sure if they were going to attack. Then I swear I saw two guys getting ready to have a fight because one of them bumped the other. There had better have been some personal history there.

Oh I forgot one embarrassing incident in the mall. I went to get up and Domino got his leash hooked on the chair. So I tried to free him and down went the chair. I was out of it, and over backwards it went. Oops.

Did I mention what happened this morning? I gave the Humane Society a call to find out if I had to go there or if I could fill something out online or whatever. I told them I was blind and it’s a guide dog. They told me I had to get a doctor’s note. I tried to explain that it’s not an emotional support animal, it’s a guide dog, but they didn’t care. So I’m trying to get a doctor’s note. We’ll see.

Domino blew his first curb this morning. Those are always a bit scary.

It was time to head back to the van and head back to campus. I was so tired I was dozing off in the van as we drove. We got back and I gave him water and took him out to relieve…and relieve he did! I forgot to get him in a sit after his first load of gross poop, and he unloaded another one. And I stepped in it. Raaaaaar! I was not a happy camper, and I told them so. I told them we have to figure out a solution because when I get home, I don’t have ready access to a hose and an easy way to clean off my shoes. They said they would have the resident assistant person watch us for the next while to see if I could improve my search technique for finding the poop, but I said it was because he was pooping on the move. I actually caught him squatting, pooping, moving, squatting, pooping, moving, repeat. They said if this keeps being a problem, I could have someone come and fit him with a relieving belt. That’s a belt with a strategically placed bag on it to catch all the poop. But they didn’t want to do that now. That was for follow-up. Arg. Let’s hope that isn’t necessary.

I HAD THE CHAT ABOUT TRANSITIONING TO MY HOME AND THAT WAS PRETTY EASY. Then I fed him and tried to relieve him and nothing happened. So I went for dinner, jerk pork and loaded potatoes and corn. Then we had our chat with the alumni association lady. Not much new there. Then I came back, groomed him, and took him to the music room so he could chase a kong around. Boy did he have fun with that. That’s the most excited I’ve seen him so far. But I stopped the game when he started hacking and hacking.

At any time in the next couple of days, I could get the call from his raiser. It hasn’t happened yet. Soon, I’m sure.

We got our big zip files of what used to be in that binder they would send us home with. It looks like the vet history is in a readable format. Woo! We also got links to our exit survey. It’s getting close now. On top of that, we got a link to where our graduation will be streamed. Yes, people all over the place will be able to watch it.

I think I’m all out of steam now. Must crash so I can survive tomorrow.

Oof! That was a rough start to the morning. You know, Carin, if you stay up to 11:30 and you then take melatonin, and you want to be up by 6, maybe turn on your alarm. Good idea? Yup! After I was carried away to sleepy ville, the next sound I heard was “Hi there, it’s Nurse Debbie. It’s 7:40.” Holy shit holy shit holy shit! There was no slow, foggy wakeup. I was standing and on the move immediately, trying to figure out how many things I could do simultaneously. By some miracle, I made it to breakfast, shoveled down my toast, chugged my smoothie and was back in my room to do everything else and made it to the lecture room on time.

We had a quick chat about dealing with situations where something is blocking the sidewalk, like a delivery truck or garbage cans or whatever. Then we also talked about how our dogs will respond to cars driving at us, cutting us off, coming up behind us or blocking our passage through the street. Then it was time for the traffic route. Our supervisor did all of those things, and our dogs showed off. The instructor was right there to make sure nothing went wrong. The dog did a perfect job.

Are you sick of hearing me call him beast, pooch, or dog? So am I. And the wait is over. I will reveal his name now. Technically I said it once before, but I was sneaky about it. His name is Domino. I freaking love his name. I was joking that the slogan is “Get the door. It’s Domino’s.” I have to say “Get Domino, it’s the door.” Apparently he was raised in Nevada and has never been known to have destroyed anything in the house. He is used to the office and is gentle around kids and other animals. I think I heard that I could get a phone call tomorrow. I’m excited to meet his raiser. I hope he can make it to graduation.

Then we had a surprise freelance route. For some reason this made me more nervous than the traffic route. I don’t think I made it as far as my classmate, but I managed.

In the afternoon, we took buses and a light rail train. Domino did pretty good. The only thing he did was he did not want to stay seated on the bus. But everything else was fine. I was still faster today but we can’t figure out what my every day pace is. I don’t even notice the changes in pace. They’re a little annoyed with me that this pace wasn’t what we tried to establish on Thursday. I wasn’t trying to mislead them. It’s just that it’s hard to go full out with a dog you don’t know, even when the instructors are right there. I understand why they’re annoyed. They have had a lot of dogs come back because of pace issues so they really want to get it right. But it’s hard, at least for me, to go full on with a dog I haven’t begun to trust. Plus, to be honest, I wasn’t sure what I could handle after not having a dog and also not booting around every day. I’m still figuring it out.

Then we came back and had vet checks. The only issue Domino had was an irritated elbow from the kennels. He’s been a pretty healthy dog. They said he is on the leaner end of things at 56 lbs. I wrote his microchip number down and she says I’ll get the rest of the history in a word doc. I guess they don’t use Avid any more for microchips. It’s some kind of universal microchip now.

Then I came back here and got my year’s supply of flea, tick and heartworm stuff, the bottle of ear stuff, and a doggy tooth brush and paste set. And tags! He has his first bling! I always feel like it’s a special moment when the bling arrives.

Apparently the nurse says my feet look like they’re screaming. They kind of are, so maybe I’ll do a foot soak. I never thought I’d need one, but maybe I do. I think that’s it for tonight.

It’s Monday and time to kick some custom route, sidewalkless and night route butt! I slept until 6 and I’m ready to rock. I have shaken off the fog and it’s time to kick it. It’s also the first of May. There’s a song about that, but if I mentioned that song to my classmates I’d be cruisin’ for a code of conduct bruisin’, so I won’t.

The pooch started playing with his bone last night! A belly rub and a bone-chewing in one day! Woo!

Gotta run for breakfast.

What a day! So much to cover. There was a knock on our door and we each got a jacket with reflective strips that’s good for wearing at night. Cool! I forgot about that. Then I asked the person when we get the flea, tick and heartworm stuff because it’s the first of the month. I’m still programmed. Then we met up and had some lectures about dealing with John Q. Public and dealing with dogs. But before that, the class supervisor tried to encourage our dogs with a sausage patty. Mine looked but not really.

I finally got a proper press release from Uber about this new phone number you can call if you’re denied access to an Uber. I guess it’s a thing, just the guide dog stuff is further down the set of options.

No matter how many times I hear it, the stuff on dealing with dog attacks is always so heavy. Thankfully, I think the worst dog attack I can remember was with our friend Mylo from days gone by. Well in the moment, that giant beast flinging himself at the window of the car that was containing him was pretty terrifying.

Then we went out and worked in a neighbourhood with screwy curvy streets and looping sidewalks and school playgrounds full of screaming kids, and people walking dogs. My dog was a rock star. It felt so good.

On the way home, we talked about my dog’s tendency to walk poop. They told me next time, after he’s pooped, bring him close and have him sit so he shouldn’t be able to move around. Then pick up his poop and only then let him sniff about. Ok. We’ll try that.

I forgot to mention breakfast was a giant breakfast sandwich on a bagel. Last night’s supper was turkey meatballs on noodles in a mushroom sauce.

So it was afternoon time. We did 2 things: sidewalkless travel and going to a pet store. I always find sidewalkless travel hard. At first, so did the dog, especially at street corners where you have to do some weird stuff to cross streets, but once he remembered what to do, he was great.

Also of note: We did some Juno work, so the beast was tied down in the car. Apparently, he whined for me. Then we went to the pet store. He wore his gentle leader and did pretty well. Some mild distractions but that’s ok.

Then we came back here and talked through the user contract. We had a good conversation about the clause that says that dogs can’t gain more than 10 percent of their graduation weight. We said some dogs fill out and that expectation is unreasonable with some dogs. The supervisor was understanding.

Then I came back to feed, water and relieve my dog. I was just about to feed him when someone came by with the flea, tick and heartworm preventatives. So he got his pill right on time.

Dinner was a delicious shepherd’s pie.

Next, someone came and gave me a harness light. The cool things about this light are the battery is rechargeable and it makes beeps to let you know it’s still on and to indicate battery level. So cool! It’s so cute and compact.

Then It WAS NIGHT ROUTE time. Here’s a weird thing. I walk faster at night. I said it’s because at night I’m on a mission. Get my ass home! She said my night pace was what she had expected and she said I should try to walk that pace in the day time. Ok I’ll try.

Everyone was so happy with their night route, especially the newbie who was worried about it.

Tomorrow is a big day. The traffic route in the morning where they drive at us with their quiet cars, and then in the afternoon we get bus or train travel, and then vet checks! Then after dinner we get their tags! And I think we’ll get the word that we can reveal their name! Eeeee! It’s getting closer!

So it’s Sunday. My day off. It’s a thing. I didn’t take melatonin at the end of last night because I hoped I would only need a tweak. That was a fail. At not even 4, rise and shine! I did have to use the bathroom, but even after that, I couldn’t go back to sleep.

We have a leisurely brunch later this morning, but they sent us a breakfast snack to have in the morning. But the brunch sounds amazing. Then we relieve the pooches, and after that, we can go on an outing if we want, but we can’t bring the dog because we’re not fully graduated. So the beast will get quality time in his crate if I go out. I’m not sure if I’ll be meeting up with a friend who lives in Portland or whether a classmate and I might go to a doughnut shop. I have to remember my money. Then it’s dog and people supper and back to the grind.

There are a couple things I forgot to write down. I gave the beast who shall remain nameless for another couple days some off leash time and after sniffing around, he was quiet as a mouse. I’m used to black dogs who I can see against the white floor. Not this one. He’s invisible to me. If I stomp you, pooch, I’m sorry. And he moves so smoothly and stealthily. No clickity click at all. But he was good. I put up all the garbage cans and shut the bathroom door because the toilet has no lid, but he was good.

I found myself singing yesterday. I thought that seemed like a turning point. I took him out to groom him and put on some tunes and started to sing. I was worried I would put on an unplanned concert for my other classmates who might sit out on their patios but I don’t think I did. Then, inexplicably, while I was grooming, I started crying happy tears. I’m sure this dog thinks I’m a total basket case.

I also forgot to mention something he did after yoga on Thursday. After he went for a free run, the instructor thought he wouldn’t need water because he didn’t run, and yoga was happening soon. So I crated him. When I came back, I took him out, and he immediately got restless. I went with him and he went to the dog sink. He likes going there so I didn’t think of it. Then he meaningfully tapped the bowl. So I put water in it and he drank drank drank! He communicated and I got the message! Miracles are happening!

Did I mention that he’s starting to be frisky after eating and sometimes when I tell him he’s a really good boy? But he’s more chill than any other dog I’ve ever had.

I’m having a tired, mistake-making day. I went to dictate a message to someone and sent an audio instead. All sorts of stuff like that. Thankfully, so far, I’ve only locked myself out of my room once. Thank goodness for the people staying overnight and their cell phone you can call.

I finally asked the embarrassing question I knew I would have to ask if I got a male dog, and that is how do I rub his belly without touching his naughty parts? I had another dog chomp me for bumping them. I know these dogs have had more body handling experience and all that, but I’d really prefer to avoid hitting his private parts. They just sort of said stick to the sides and if you bump it, you bump it. Ok then.

Because I’m nutty cuckoo pants, I’m already calling pet stores about the food he’s on. It’s Eukanuba. And it’s really hard to get apparently. We’ll see what happens. Good thing I started early. But it was nice to talk to my old pet store. Also, he’s got a vet appointment set up.

Tired and very very full. You’d never know we are doing a ton of walking. One classmate and I went to the doughnut place. But this isn’t your Tim’s or your Duncan doughnuts. No no no! These are doughnut beasts. I had one and it was absolutely massive and it took forever to eat it. We had a good chat about navigating airports and the things that are helpful and not so much, among other things. We sat for an hour and it flew by. Also he paid for my doughnut and drink. If he ever comes to town, I’m taking him to Lady Glaze Doughnuts.

Then I came back here and played with the big beast for a while. He was happy to see me, nearly climbed in my lap, rolled around and let me rub his belly! Yes! A big long belly rub!

I was going to toss a kong for him in the music room, but I was feeling so very fat and sluggish. Soon, I swear!

Then I went down mistake alley. When grooming him, I dropped the toothpaste cap and he tried to eat it. I got it back and felt proud. Then I tried to do too many things and knocked a cup full of kibble all over creation. I told him to stay and he did, so I gave him a kibble party when I thought I had it all cleaned up. Then he found more anyway. Ack! Then I went outside and he pooped and I picked it up. Then he pooped and pooped and guess who stepped in it. Guess whose shoes needed another hose treatment. At least I didn’t track poop all over my room again. Twice in a week? I need to do something about catching double poops! This cannot happen!

Now, the little twit bag obsessively sniffs around the dog sink floor. I offer him water and he just sniffs. I hope I haven’t broken him already. This is the part of the song called the last week jitters. We will survive.

So tomorrow is going to be a hell of a day. I’m definitely having to tame the sleep troubles. We’re having custom routes, and then sidewalkless travel, then a night route. I’m going to try my best to go, if nothing else, to encourage the newbie to do it. And hey. More walks are good for me too.

The nurse just put my shoes in a boot dryer…Again. Must fix this double pooping problem.

So brace yourself. Tomorrow’s entry is going to be a honker! And might be delayed. Now I will do other small things before dog relieving and melatonin-induced snore festival.

First things first. Sorry to Steve for making all those typos in the last two entries. It’s hard to write anything, let alone stuff like this, when melatonin is doing what melatonin does. I also want to apologize for the flat sound of the last entry. I could barely remember the sequence of events, never mind talking about how I felt. Thankfully, today I actually had some time in the day to start writing, so if I decide I need help sleeping again, all I’ll have to do is groggily put them in Dropbox.

So today I actually slept until 6 when my alarm went off. I must have been a more active sleeper because I heard my bed buzzing. I guess it does that when it needs to adjust the firmness of the mattress or whatever.

I got up a little groggy but shook it off. The beast pooped and it wasn’t super gross so we’re probably set. Let’s hope. Then breakfast was a tater tot scramble which was eggs and veggies all scrambled up and the tater tots sort of just get swished in it so they’re still tater tot like. It was good.

We’re starting to have a joke that every time I say “There’s a song about that,” they go “Do a shot!” Hmmm. Am I getting annoying? Must contain my song references.

They gave us a tour of the campus including the trail. That thing is glorious. At some point, I do want to walk it. It’s so peaceful.

We went to the mall and zoomed around. Apparently my moving left turns need work. But they’re working on it. We first tried some Juno and talked about escalators and technique. Then we rode up and down several escalators, and pooch and I have a pretty good rhythm. I still remember how! Did I mention just how chill he was about putting boots on? I was able to booty him up when we were at the mall. The only thing I was doing wrong was when I tighten up a boot, sometimes it turns sideways. So I twist it a little too far and it fixes itself. He walked around with his back booties on with 0 fuss. Pretty great.

Then we came back and I had a bratwurst sandwich with potato salad. I also had a bowl of carrot soup.

Before I ate, we had our progress meeting and we seemed to be on track. I showed my instructor my long list of goals and she said she’d fit them in. She also told me that I am not in fact covered in dog hair, like it isn’t all over my dark jeans. I guess he doesn’t shed as much as I thought he would. Yea! I might not have to buy a new wardrobe!

I should mention I heard his first dream woofs last night, and this morning I heard a little vocalization, half way between a whine and a moan. And he’s starting to get frisky. I haven’t totally figured him out yet, but he’s starting to like me.

After lunch, they took our pictures so they can make the ID cards. Oo oo ID cards.

Then we did clicker! I have never been that good with clicker for a few reasons. First, they always wanted me to hold the clicker in my leash and harness hand. How big do you think my hands are?! Second, they always said the clicker marks the exact moment a behavior happens. Hey, jerkbag, I’m blind. There are some things where I can tell, but others I will have to verify that it is the right spot. There is no way I can be that precise. But now they give out wrist straps, and they have redefined the precise moment it happens as the precise moment you know it happens. Ok. I can live with that. We back chained Pooch to my door, which means you click them finding the door, and then click for them targeting it from further out and so on. That was fun.

And that was it for things we’re doing today formally. The rest of the night is mine! Oh the potential!

Yes. a classmate and I walked the Oregon trail. It’s a little fenced off area that goes through the campus. It’s very peaceful. We plan to walk it every evening. Then I went to do laundry and I thought I broke everything. We had gone in earlier and I had read the Braille on the buttons so I felt reasonably confident. So I toddled the little rolling basket to what I thought was the room we went to earlier. I threw my clothes in a machine and it set off. It was then that I looked at the buttons and they didn’t have the same Braille I had seen before. Oh crap. Did I go to the wrong room? So I panicked. I texted the Residence person and had her check. I had gone to the correct room. Phew!

Tomorrow is our day off. I’m not sure what I’ll be doing with it. I could be seeing a friend, but she says she might not be feeling well. Or another classmate and I could be going to a doughnut shop or a place called “The Local Cow” and then some kind of brew pub. I don’t care about craft beers but maybe they have yummy food. Whatever happens, it will be a good day.