Give The Gift Of Drug Company Trinkets

Ok, let me get this straight. an operator of several hospitals and clinics in Minnesota has decided to get rid of all the trinkets that have been given to doctors from drug companies. They say it’s a conflict of interest. Great! I understand. But here’s where I get confused. They’re going to send them to Cameroon! How are a bunch of pens, notepads, mugs and other assorted crap with names of drugs written on them going to help people in Cameroon? It’s not like they’re selling them and giving the money to Cameroon. They just make it sound like they’re going to put the 20 shopping carts’ worth of stuff on a plane to Cameroon and send it on its way.

Hey, I’m glad they’re trying to find a use for all that junk, but…will the stuff be of any use?

Seek And We Shall Find

We’ve been noticing a lot of people on live search looking for a certain drunken bus fight on the vomit comet, the bus in Toronto where Matt got the name for our blog. Some of them mentioned YouTube. So, since everybody’s looking for it, here it is. Did I get the right fight?

Next time, if you’re looking for a YouTube video, try going to YouTube to find it. You’ll have much better results.

The Kinda Sorta Return Of The Penis Game

I’ve noticed something odd over the last few days. It appears that the penis enlargement spammers have finally started to realize that insulting potential customers by calling them names like Johnny Smallcock or telling them that their girlfriends laugh at them while they’re fucking bigger guys might not be the best way to…um…well…grow business so to speak. It also seems that during the quest to find the new great sales pitch, they’ve been studying some mainstream advertising in the hopes that somewhere they’ll find the secret to why it works so well and hopefully figure out how they can make it work for them. Actually on second thought, I’m so sure that this is what’s happening that I really shouldn’t be using words like seems and appears. Why am I so confident? That would be because since Sunday I have received emails with the following subject lines:

  • Reach out and bone someone.

  • When it absolutely, positively has to be rock hard.

    • And my personal favourite,

  • This is your thingie…This is your thingie on pills…Any questions?

I mentioned this to Carin and she said she hasn’t gotten anything similar, so now I ask you, the loyal Vomiteers, have you gotten any of these things or is the internet trying to tell me something it thinks I need to hear? If you have, feel free to share them in the comments or by sending me an email and I’ll post them. Who knows, this could be the most fun we’ve had since the penis game a few years ago. I guess this would be the penis game number 2. Kind of ironic in a way.

They Should Have Idiot Proofed It While They Were At It

A so-called “theft proof” police car worth about £75,000 was stolen from the Berlin Police force recently when 2 officers left it unlocked and unattended with the keys still in the ignition while they tried to chase down a separate car thief.

According to
Ananova,
not only did they wind up losing the car, but the suspect they were trying to take down in the first place also got away.

And in a wacky end note to the story that should have Germans everywhere questioning the competency of their protectors, police chiefs say that so far there is no sign of the car and no clue as to who may have taken it.

Yeah, Doing Laundry Is A Shitty Job, But…

Ug! I’ve been upset that people have left their clothes unattended when I needed the machine, but never have I thought it would be a good idea to take a dump on their load of laundry! Gag! What a thought! He’s in jail, and I think if someone bails him out, they will be hunted down by everyone in that apartment building.

You’re Going To Jail! You’re Going To Jail!

Here’s another one for the bongo drum teddy bear shrine home-invasion files.

Imagine this. You’re sleeping on the couch, hooked up to a machine giving you oxygen while you sleep. Suddenly, you’re awakened by a 27-year-old woman wearing only a shirt and underwear screaming “We’re going to egypt” as she tries to strangle you. Your six-foot son wrestles the five-foot attacker off you, but manages to get his nose broken and his wrist dislocated before police arrive and take her, Jennifer Marie Wojack, away. He slugged her once during the confrontation, at which point she screamed “Give me more daddy, I like it, I like it.” Wouldn’t that be a rude awakening?

The weirdest part of this story is the way it ends. Wojack doesn’t remember it, and there’s no note about Wojack having mental health issues or anything. She doesn’t even have a police record! Well, she does now.