I love Trixie, I think she’s awesome. I sometimes talk for her. But I would never, ever, ever, sign her up to Dogbook. When you start joining your pet up to a Facebook for dogs, and friending other people’s pets, you’re heading down the road to loserville.
How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take In A Fight?
According to this, I’m good for 18 of the little bastards. you?
You Have Your Data, So Shut Up
Remember back when NASA wanted to destroy the data from an airline safety study? Well, they decided it would be better to release it, but scramble it, making it impossible for anyone to understand it. Way to go, NASA.
He Definitely Put the Gas in Gastroenterologist
Oh dear, oh dear dear. Someone is seriously disturbed, disturbed enough to study farts in graphic detail.
I mean I’m all for studying those things we don’t like to talk about, but…getting volunteers to eat beans and then fart into bags via rectal tubes and then get other people to sit there and have syringes of the stuff waved under their noses? That’s just twisted. But I love the terms used in this article.
No Brains, All Hart
Wow. This guy would feel pretty stupid in the morning. Jeremy Hart showed up drunk to rob a house, wearing a red Santa hat among other things, ploughed his car into a snow bank, only took prescription drugs and votive candles, and when he went to leave, he discovered he couldn’t get out of said snow bank, and had to knock on the door he just robbed and ask for shelter from the cold. Needless to say, he got some shelter, in a jail cell.
Bluetooth Brings Orange Jumpsuit
This guy was not meant to rob the Wendy’s. It just wasn’t going to happen. First, he found out the safe was time-locked so he’d have to wait. Then his screams not to anser the phone activated the bluetooth headset on someone’s cellphone, which made the person on the other end of the phone call police. But the final straw was when he exited the restaurant with an employee as a hostage, which caused the automatic lock on the door to lock behind him. Done like dinner! Well, not without some strange antics from this idiot on parole. He bashed his own head with his own gun until he bled, and then surrendered. Yup, you belong in jail.
Flooded With Rage
Um, when you think Tsunami aid, do you think programs pushing Australian values on Asians? I didn’t think so either. But that’s what Australian NGOs have been doing with the tsunami relief money they were given to, ya know, rebuild lives shattered by the tsunami of 2004. Hey guys, I think your audience would be a lot more receptive if they had food and water. How about using the money for what it was intended, and if, miracle of miracles, you have money left over, put it aside for the next disaster.
What A Jerky Thing To Do!
Ok, first we had the police officer who jailed some poor McDonalds employee over a salty burger. Now we have an off-duty police officer whipping out his sidearm over incorrectly-seasoned deer jerky. Are people that nuts over food?
Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer? Nope, A Moose!
Please someone look at the pictures of this drunken Alaskan moose. Tell me. Are they as hillarious as the story sounds? Can you imagine a drunken moose? I’m still laughing about a moose tangled in Christmas lights eating fermented crab apples until he was drunk as a skunk, but he was a moose. And he’s a repeat offender, he’s been tagged!
Damn it I’m still Snickering. I must be easily amused.
Whatsky A Perfectsky Namesky
I have to do this, Steve, I’m scooping you. A dude brought a computer loaded with child porn to Circuit City and subsequently got busted. His name? Kenneth Sodomsky!