We Do It, So Why Can’t They?

Do you ever watch those vet shows on TV and think to yourself this must be what it’s like to be abducted by aliens? I do that all the time, especially during the ones like Dr. Oakley where they go to remote areas to treat sometimes wild animals.

Imagine you’re a bear. There you are, minding your own business, doing bear things. Suddenly you notice that strange creatures are following you around, eyeing you suspiciously from a distance. Then, out of the blue, you get poked in the side by some sharp thing you didn’t see coming. You start feeling lightheaded and the next thing you know, you’re coming to, feeling all hung over, unable to remember a thing. As you start to regain your senses, you notice that you’re wearing a mysterious tag, your ass feels tender and that you might even have a surgical scar. Hopefully animals are less cruel and judgmental than humans, because if they aren’t, you’re going to take one hell of a riding about how crazy you are from the rest of your forest friends once you try to explain this to them.

But you’re not crazy, Mr. Bear. It’s all on film and they’re showing it to the rest of us for entertainment purposes.

So now, back in human form, ask yourself this. What if the aliens are doing the same thing? What if, somewhere out in space, there’s a show called the Incredible Dr. Zaaaarg that’s nothing but guys named Fred getting anal probes because whatever the alien race is called thinks they’re helping?

Fred’s maybe not quite as out to lunch as you thought he was, is he?

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