Truth Is Dumber Than Fiction

Last Updated on: 25th September 2013, 10:31 am

Just when I think I’ve seen the stupidest thing I could possibly see, somebody comes along and tops it. Ok, this story actually more than tops it. It not only takes the cake, I think it baked the fucking thing.

I can’t remember which town this happened in but honestly it’s not that important to the story. It’s somewhere in Canada though and I think it might have been Toronto but I can’t be entirely sure.

A woman living in a townhouse complex opened her front door yesterday to find that somebody had left a baby on her doorstep. So rather than calling the police as most of us would probably do in a situation like this once we finished freaking out, our hero decides that she’s going to take the kid to the management office of the complex she lives in. Ok, I can understand the thinking there, maybe one of the managers will recognize the kid and be able to point you in the direction of the person who left it, or maybe you can go door to door with a manager asking people if they know who the little guy belongs to. Both fine ideas I figure, it’s just too bad that’s not what happened. Here’s where things go wrong, horribly horribly wrong.

When she gets to the office, our favourite future Mensa member doesn’t look for a trusted office worker at all, but rather for reasons that only the truly mentally afflicted among us could even think about understanding, simply hands the kid off to some guy she’s never seen before. Yeah, you’re reading that right, she just gives the kid to some random guy who in true random guy fashion, promptly fucks off and takes the kid with him. So now the police are left with no names, no missing persons report, and one really big idiot who I’m sure they’d all like to take turns slapping upside the fucking head.

I’d ask what must have been going through her mind, but that would imply that she has one, which clearly she does not.

I’m not sure what we the public are supposed to do to help solve this case, perhaps we should all report any random man we see with a baby to the police so that they can question him immediately and hopefully bring a swift end to this case and reunite the poor baby with his family, or at least with somebody who won’t leave him at random houses when they need a babysitter.

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