Last Updated on: 16th April 2023, 12:19 pm

It’s early on an average Saturday morning. Outside the window, there is a quiet, sunless, breezeless yet cool and somehow sticky 17 degree day. Inside the window, there are 2 angry blind people trying to figure out how it is that with no heat on in the apartment, there could possibly be an atmosphere best described as a scorching 29 degrees with a humidex of about 36. Do we have some kind of heat throwing insulation that springs into action when it gets below a set temperature for a certain length of time? Did they turn on heat to half the building thinking that those of us who are way up high wouldn’t need it because heat rises? I don’t know, but if that’s what they thought, they were exactly right, because for lack of a better way to say it, it’s fucking hot in here! But whatever the case may be, here we sit, on this sticky sunless morning, with our air conditioner turned on and way up high! Thank Christ we haven’t pulled the thing out of the window yet. Who knows, maybe we won’t need to. Laugh if you will, but let me remind you that this is Canada, and that in Canada, anything is possible. Last year we didn’t get winter until sometime in January, so I rest my case.

If you have digital cable or a satellite and you’re a fan of either wrestling, boxing, MMA or even all 3 like me, if you don’t have The Fight Network yet, what are you waiting for? They don’t show any WWE, but these days that’s a selling point, so do yourself a favour and check it out. Tell ’em Steve sent ya. It won’t get you any sort of discount or anything, I’ve just always wanted to say that.

While we’re on the subject of digital cable, note to the folks over at Leafs TV: I love your channel, but if I have to watch that Tim Hortons club sandwich commercial one more time…

I read yesterday that TNA is bringing Vince Russo back and putting him in a creative role. If I had to sum up my feelings on this development in one word, that word would have to be whythefuckwouldyoudosomethingsogoddamnstupid? Let’s review. He was horrible in WCW multiple times, and a case can be made for him being a sizeable part of the company’s ultimate downfall. Some would argue, [and I count myself among them,] that while he did his share of good in the WWF, that he was largely awful there as well. If you ever watch a wrestling show and find yourself getting pissed off at those 25 minute segments that consist of nothing but talking or those matches that are done before they have a chance to turn into anything good, now you know who to blame. But here’s the real kick in the nuts. He’s already gotten the chance to fuck up TNA, and true to form, he did. Why then would you bring him back? Ok, let me rephrase that. Why, other than his friendship with people who hold power in the company, would you bring him back again knowing what everybody with a brain should already know? TNA needs to carve out its identity as something different from WWE, they don’t need to be WWE light like WCW became under Russo’s control. Then again, maybe I’m missing the point. Now that I think about it, Russo’s return paves the way for TNA to create the biggest difference of all. While WWE is acting like a company that is in business and making money, TNA will not be. It doesn’t get much different than that. Perhaps I’ll end up being wrong and TNA under the guidance of Vince Russo will end up doing fantastic business, and maybe one day we’ll have another Monday night war on our hands. but sadly, I’m not usually wrong when I really want to be, and I have a funny feeling that this will probably end up being the continuation of my hot streak.

Screw you, McDonald’s! I know that kind of came out of nowhere and I know I don’t mean it, but they monumentally pissed me off last week and since I’m sure I’m not the only one, I feel I need to say something,and that something is simply this. Stop putting the fucking hash browns in those little paper bags! Maybe they’re fine if you’re walking 10 feet to a table and then eating them right away, but if you have to go any further than that, not so much. You’d think that with 100 billion served or whatever it is that they would have this figured out by now, but since they don’t, here’s what happens. As time passes, things that are hot tend to cool down. In the case of the hash browns, as they cool down, the potato shit starts sticking to the bag, which is almost too small for the goddamn hash brown to fit into to begin with. this results in me being unable to extract the little bastard from the bag without losing half of it, and sometimes even ingesting a little bit of flake-laden paper in the process of trying to save as much of it as I can because I paid for it and I damn well want my money’s worth! What was so wrong with the cardboard thing? Nothing ever stuck to the cardboard thing. And don’t give me that bullshit about how it’s better for the environment either. You know as well as I do that all of those cardboard things will eventually break down and disappear. Besides, you have to cut down trees to get your precious little paper bags, so how good is that for the environment, you pricks?! Ok, I almost feel better now.

I heard the other day that there were actually plans to start marketing a Steve Irwin branded sunscreen, but they ended up scrapping the idea once they found out that it didn’t protect against harmful rays.

And on that heartwarming note, I’m all out of ideas, so I’m going to go have breakfast now. See you all around, at least those of you who aren’t Steve Irwin.

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