A Funky Christmas Quiz

Last Updated on: 17th December 2014, 11:04 am

I saw this on another blog, and then Jen emailed it to me, so I think something’s telling me I’m meant to fill it out. So off we go into the land of Christmas.

1. Egg Nog or Hot Chocolate?
Oh, it’s gotta be hot chocolate, baby! Especially if it’s damn cold and you just froze your ass off in the snow.

2. Does Santa wrap presents or just sit them under the tree?
Hmm. Whose Santa? When I was a kid, Santa wrapped presents. But now they’re usually in gift bags since Santa sucks heartily at wrapping gifts.

3. Coloured lights on tree/house or white?
I don’t care. I think mom’s tree has white lights. I don’t think she likes the coloured lights. I don’t have a tree, since well, where would you put a big tree in an apartment?

4. Do you hang mistletoe?
I would if I had any. I just never ended up getting it. Mom hung it once, and dad used to make a big joke about the mistletoe. That was fun.

5. When do you put up your decorations?
I suck. I don’t have a lot of decorations, for the same reason I don’t have a tree. No room to store them all year. I sometimes feel like a grinch because all we have is a Homer Simpson’s Santa Claus and an itty bitty Christmas tree.

6. What is your favourite Holiday (Christmas or Thanksgiving) meal include?
It’s gotta have turkey, and stuffing, and mashed potatos! Mmm. *drool drool*.

7. Favourite Holiday memory as a child?
Hmmm. I think it has to be the Lion’s Club parties that happened every year. My dad was a lion, and I was always so mystified by the Lions’ club Santa Claus. He was so smart! Every other Santa gave me activity books and little generic bags of candy, which were cool, well the activity books weren’t much fun, but it was the thought that counted, right? But this Santa always got me a toy that I always wanted! I would get so excited over dinner while they built the suspense for Santa’s arrival, talking about where he was flying over, how long it would be…and then singing “Here Comes Santa Claus” when he arrived. Oh how come it took me until 11 years of age to figure out that each kid’s parents bought the gift that Santa gave them? That’s why they were so good! Even when I knew Santa didn’t exist, I just figured there was a committee that decided who was getting what. But the whole night was so much fun, and then the cool gift to top it all off made it perfect.

8. When and how did you learn the truth about Santa?
*bristle bristle* Why did you have to ask that question? Ug here we go, story time. I had a teacher who was assigned to me to teach me braille and help me understand complex visual concepts. She spent a lot of time with me, so I guess she felt like she was my second mom, and should take over some of those maternal duties. So one day, when I was around 8, I guess she got sick of hearing, “Santa this, santa that.” So she told me, “Look, Santa doesn’t exist.” Ker Smash! There it goes! Just like that! I stil wonder how long it would have taken me to figure it out, but I don’t think it would have been much longer. I mean, I was already accidentally identifying some of the Santa Claus’s at Christmas parties, I still remember saying to one of them. “Gee, Santa, you sounda lot like Kirk Anderson!” Oh that got a big ho! ho! ho! Because, surprise, he *was* Kirk Anderson. Woops! Mom was pissed, oh mom was pissed about that little bubble-bursting. Anyway, enough pissing and moaning.

9. Do you open a gift on Christmas Eve?
Well, because we zoom six hours down to Grandma’s for Christmas Day, we open all our gifts on Christmas Eve. But as little kids, we used to open one on Christmas Eve and then take the rest down to Grandma’s. I remember crying as we left on Christmas Eve saying, “Santa won’t find us! Santa won’t find us!” So mom had to stick a note to the tree to keep us happy.

10. How do you decorate your Christmas Tree?
Um all that our itty bitty tree has on it is a paper star. *sheepishly looks down*

11. Snow! Love it or Dread it?
Ug snow sucks. I used to like it when all I had to do was play in it, but now it’s just a giant pain in the ass.

12. Can you ice skate?
Oh god no. I can iceskate if I’m pushing a chair. Otherwise, my ass and the ice have frequent meetings.

13. Do you remember your favourite gift as a child?
Hmmm I remember the gift I obsessed over the most. For some reason, I just *had* to have an ALF doll. I would cry when I saw them in stores because I wanted one now now now! Now I look back and go, what in hell was the big deal? It was a stuffed animal, and apparently an ugly one. But when I got it at Christmas, I ran off with it and they had to call me back to open the rest of the gifts!

14. What’s the most important thing about the Holidays for you?
Seeing everybody, especially now that my cousins have little ones. They grow so fast!

15. What is your favourite Holiday Dessert?
Mmmm…sandies. They’re this sugary cookie with chocolate drizzled over top! Mmm. *drool drool drool!*

16. What is your favourite holiday tradition?
Hmmm I think when I was a kid, putting on Christmas music while we decorated the tree was the coolest.

17. What tops your tree?
Remember that paper star?

18. What is your favourite Christmas Song /hymn?
That’s a tough one. Stupid as it sounds, Jingle Bells because it’s so simple, hahah.

And there we go. Quiz over. Hope you had fun.

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