Bad Poetry

Last Updated on: 16th April 2021, 09:06 am

I said I would find this old poem. It appears I have. Probably no one will find this funny except Steve and me. Oh well.

I was on that user’s list of folks who used the ELba, and one of them got all mushy gushy about his ELba. I believe he was from Germany or something, so his English wasn’t so good, which explains the, well, bad English in his poem. He wrote:

Braillex Elba

Come on as you like to be!
Come on get your efficiency!
Cause this Braille display is fine,
It is an Efficiency line.
Move as quickly as a star,
With its easy access bar.

In the conference room, not in the road,
It is easy to take a note.

This device is not a trap!
You can easily browse the web.

And whilst snake mail will some times fail!
Check and read your email in Braille.

Through big calculations you don’t look through,
The calculator will work for you.

On the train, not in the station!
Do your spreadsheet calculation.

Some times you forget a date,
And some times you come too late!
That all will be over, now!
The Dayplanner will show you how.

Read in peace, not in the road,
Use PC, combined and navigation mode.

Papenmeier is always fair,
A virtual cursor is also there.

On the Elba things are easy to reach!
Easy configurable Braille and speech.

Operating is an easy dance!
Do it, using Linux commands.

I believe after I read that piece of, well, something or other, smoke came out of my ears. Why I couldn’t be content to let him have his glorious view of the thing, I don’t know. I mean, he wrote a poem about some computer device. That speaks volumes for how rich and full of human contact his life was. But this was too much for me to bear. At the time, I was not a very happy person, and this whole experience with the ELba wasn’t helping. Steve, in an attempt to keep me from hoofing it to either New Jersey or Germany to kick some ass, told me we should try and write our own poem. This seemed to bring things down to a reasonable level. I wrote the following:

I just read the poem from you,
And I don’t doubt your words so true
But now please hear this poem of mine,
The words herein are not so fine.

I sent my ELba for repair,
Off to New Jersey, way down there.
The flash card would not activate,
And I thought they could set it straight.

For several weeks it languished there,
In a state of disrepair.
The stories they were told to me,
First the fault of New Jersey, then Germany.

The tall tales they would change each day,
For why it was not sent back up here, eh.
After 6 long weeks, the package came,
Good as new, or so they’d claim.
But discovered I, to my shame,
Alas, the unit still was lame.

I tried to see if my problem was gone,
But alas, it would not power on.
For a while, I tried and tried,
Hoping that it had not died.

I called New Jersey for support,
But all I got were odd retorts.
They told me the reason it had died,
Was because I pushed the card inside.
They said reflashing was the cause
A remark that truly gave me pause.
For if this were true I say,
Wouldn’t something be on the braille display?

They told me the charger should have a buzz,
But I don’t recall that it does.
They told me I did not need a new case,
They told me this right to my face.
But the current one with Velcro wrong,
I know won’t hold out very long.

The repair requests that we had sent,
I wonder where the heck they went.
No fax, no phone, and no email,
Did all three systems truly fail?

Now they’ve shipped me a power chord,
But I fear I need a circuit board.
For with this new one being used,
To power up, it still refused.

My ELba’s not quick as a fox,
As it lays dead inside its box.
That’s my story I do say,
How much are Braille Notes Anyway?

Oddly, after that little piece of poetry, everybody hated me on that list. But it got the attention of the company in New Jersey, and much more success than I had been having. So there, there’s the silly poem I was referring to. God I feel geeky today.

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