Get On The Right Bus, Gus, Make A Route Plan, Stan

This information has been updated to reflect the September 2 2012 changes.

Second update: I think I fixed all my gaps, errors and booboos. Am working on figuring out where the community bus fits into this mish mash o goodness. Also. Guelph Transit said they’ll be putting up a text version of the bus layout in the square and UC soon. When I see it lives, you know I’ll be linking to it.

Update: I’ve noticed some significant gaps in the info about all these new bus routes. I’m working on filling them. But in the meantime, sorry. As soon as I know the answers, I’ll post them.

Steve talked about Guelph Transit’s crappy time to change the bus routes. Well, I went down to Old Quebec Street Mall to get a few things straight in my head to hopefully lessen the initial grief of dealing with this whole bus system being turned on its head mid winter thing. I got some really awesome info out of one of the employees down there, so figured I’d pass it on. Probably the sightlings won’t care much about this, but I’m hoping it might help a few blind folks. And sadly nobody outside of Guelph will give a flying crap about this. Oh well, I don’t care. Ready to get confused? Ok, let’s go!

Now that we have a terminal, I’m going to name off the platform, and which bus parks its butt in it. Also, hey blind people, when you get off a bus, reach out and touch that pole with the bus platform sign on it. Feel it up good. Unless vandals or heat or both get evil, you will find braille marking off the platform and route numbers. Yes! So, now, you can actually reorient yourself, an impossibility without these signs.

New Buses And their Shiny New Platforms, Downtown version
Platform No. Bus That Parks There
Platform 1 3A East Loop Clockwise
Platform 2 16 Southgate
Platform 3 10 Imperial
Platform 4 5 Gordon
Platform 5 2A West Loop clockwise
Platform 6 3B East Loop counterclockwise
Platform 7 8 Stone Road Mall
Platform 8 9 West End Community Centre
Platform 9 Community Bus South
Platform 10 Community Bus North
Platform 14 20 North Industrial
Platform 15 11 Willow West
Platform 18 13 Victoria Road Recreation Centre
Platform 19 12 General Hospital
Platform 20 2B West Loop Counterclockwise
Platform 21 4 York
Platform 22 14 Grange

Nope, I didn’t just decide to play 1, 2, skip a few, 99 100. There are empty spots, some of ’em will be filled in with Go and Greyhound buses, some of them are spares, and some of them I honestly don’t know. Also, some of these platforms are kinda across from each other, with a bench between them. For example, 6 and 20 are across from each other, ish. So don’t assume you have to make the loop to get from 6 to 20 for example. Oh, and there’s a huuuuge open space after platform 7. I affectionately call it the void.

Just because I like to help, here are the platforms up at the UC. I know considerably less about these babies than I do about the downtown version.

UC Platforms and Their Buses
Platform Number Bus Route
Platform 0 15 University College
Platform 1 7 Kortright Downey
Platform 2 6 Harvard Ironwood
Platform 3 1A College Edinburgh clockwise
Platform 4 5 South Gordon
Platform 5 1B College Edinburgh Counterclockwise
Platform 6 3B East Loop counterclockwise
Platform 7 2B West Loop counterclockwise
Platform 8 5Gordon Downtown
Platform 9 3A East Loop clockwise
Platform 10 2A West Loop clockwise

Now, here’s a big warning. the new no. 9 is not the old no. 9. the old no. 9 was 9 Stone Road Mall. Now the new 9 is the 9 West End Community Centre. So, do not think that a number means you’re getting on the same route…unless you’re getting on the 4 York that is. I can’t remember all the names of the new routes, but I was able to jot down the numbers. There are some that I remember, such as no. 8 goes to Stone Road Mall, no. 9 is West end and no. 12 is the Guelph General, but the rest you’ll have to get from either the website or calling Guelph Transit. Put 822-1811 in your speed dial. Learn it, love it, know it, dial it!

Now, to make things extra interesting, the new routes have two places that are considered transfer hubs: The downtown terminal, and the University Centre loop. So some buses just don’t bother going downtown. Also, because Guelph is extra fun, as you know, when a route ends, the bus that did that route doesn’t just start doing it again. It becomes another bus route. So the lady who I spoke to helpfully gave me what all the buses turn into. If you’re seeing route numbers I didn’t mention before, that’s because they’re those groovy buses that consider the UC to be their main transfer point. Oh ain’t this a bag of fun? Alrighty, let’s go. Note: I’ll only name the buses I haven’t previously named.

All the bus routes, and What They Turn Into at route’s End
is becomes
4 10
10 4
16 11
11 16
12 8
8 12
9 13
13 9
5 Gordon downtown 14 at downtown, continues as 5 Gordon downtown at university
14 5 Gordon Downtown
1A 6
6 1A
1B 7
7 1B
2A remains 2A
2B remains 2B
3A remains 3A
3B remains 3B
5 South Gordon remains 5 South Gordon
20 20
15 University College remains 15 University College

One head-scratcher: Where did the 21 go? It appears to have been obliterated. There’s a new Southgate one, but it doesn’t appear to go up to the university like the 21 did. Will check into that one.

Now, everybody, get up, shake your head wildly in an attempt to prevent your brain from short circuiting. Aaa, doesn’t that feel better?

Some routes to popular destinations: As I said, 8 will take you to Stone Road Mall, 9 will take you to West End Community Centre, 12 will take you to Guelph General. Also, 3A will take you into St. Joe’s and 3B will take you from St. Joe’s back downtown. Warning! If you get on 3A from St. Joe’s, it does not go downtown. It does go up to Walmart, and eventually ends I believe at the University Centre where it turns into the 5. Remember, did I mention a 5 pulling in downtown? I sure as hell didn’t. Especially watch out if you took a route ending in A somewhere. Chances are, to return, you want the one ending in B.

It is extremely important to make sure you get on the right bus, as lots of the routes are very long, and some of them won’t end up downtown again! So, ask lots o questions to whoever will answer them.

Big, actually huge thanks go out to Ryan at Guelph Transit who put up with me badgering the royal bejeebers out of her for an hour. I didn’t mean to do that, but well, when you turn a transit system on its head, I’m gonna have lots and lots of questions. No thanks go out to her coworker who could only manage to whip maps/brochures at the heads of all who approached the info booth, and said a lot of “oh, good luck with that.” when asked questions. Listen, lady, “good luck with that” will not get me unlost when I’m dumped unexpectedly at the corner of Where The Hell Am I Street and Middle of Nowhere Avenue. “Good luck with that” will not help restore my faith that I will be able to navigate this new system. I came here for help, not “good luck with that.” Luckily Ryan was more than awesome, and made up for the useless. Also, huge thanks go out to whoever was tasked with manning the Guelph Transit Twitter on New Years Day. They fielded about six zillion questions from yours truly, and never lost it.

Understand that this is just what I jotted down from my talk with the helpful Guelph Transit lady. I have tried to make this as error free as possible, but please, do not let me lead you astray. Check and double check to avoid getting yourself lost in the cold/snow. Also, several stops have been removed, so if you’re going to a location for the first time, please, for the love of Pete, make sure the stop you used to use still exists.

Good luck with this crazy new system. I have a feeling there will be quite a few lost/frustrated souls about in our fine city over the next while, myself included.

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  1. I didn’t read the scheduling part but popped over to say good work and yeah, you run that town. Wink wink nudge nudge couldn’t resist. Also had to laugh when you wrote, “reorient yourself” because that was the slogan for a fast food Chinese food type place here called Yokohama Rice Bowl. Now I have the jingle in my head. “Yokahama Rice Bowl! Reorient yourself!”

    1. Hahahaha. What a great slogan. Much better than stuff like it’s way delicious or whatever McDonald’s is using now. Badda ba ba ba? It’s not even words anymore!

      And yes, Carin does run this town. She likes to pretend she doesn’t, but it’s fact.

    1. I’ll cut you some slack. You’ve been pretty busy with your sneakily subtle takeover of Kitchener Waterloo to deal with some of your lazy Guelphian underlings.

  2. Darn, I had hoped to find the commercial on youtube but no. Since you think it’s a good slogan, I’ll have to record how it went so it can be in your head, too.

    1. It would be nice to have a good slogan in my head since we’ve been working on getting recordings for a weekend audio about commercials that amuse or annoy us.

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