Thanks For All The Free Stuff I Paid For

Having never tried it, I have no idea how simple identity theft is. Given the frequency with which it occurs, however, I assume that it must be relatively easy. But easy as it may be, it appears to still be too difficult for some.

Today, some equals an unidentified person or persons that police have not yet managed to locate.

They got the identity theft part right, managing to lift card info from a family in Anchorage, Alaska. They also seem to have had the buy as much stuff as you can before the victim or victim’s bank catches on and stops the gravy train in its tracks thing figured out, since they managed to buy somewhere in the neighbourhood of $5,000 worth of everything under the sun in an hour, give or take.

But it’s here that things head sideways.

The rule of scoop up as much ill gotten merch as possible, at least as I understand it, goes that when you place your orders, you should change the shipping details so that said merch goes to you and not to the person who’s money you’re spending. Somehow, this genius/geniuses kinda forgot that part.

Here are some of the “gifts” shipped to the Linfords’ home, according to the Daily News:

• A JVC car stereo
• A radar detector
• A baseball bat signed by Chipper Jones
• An autographed portrait of Dale Earnhardt, Jr.
• Several North Face jackets
• A linen scrapbook
• Women’s jackets from a store in New Jersey
• Martials arts gloves and shin pads

There was also an attempt made to join a fruit of the month club, but so far none has come in the mail.

But wait Steve, you say. What if whoever did this sent the goods to the victim on purpose? What if the plan was to mail them there, then swipe them from the porch?

Well, I reply. That seems pretty risky, but it’s certainly not unheard of. I might even be able to go along with it if not for one thing.

…the Daily News notes that Susie Linford traced the orders back to phone numbers and IP addresses in Kansas and Illinois…

Both of those places are a few thousand miles away from where the packages landed, so that’s a long run back and forth.

Numbers and addresses in Kansas and Illinois are so far all that investigators have to go on, but hopefully they can eventually round these clowns up.