A Few Words From Steve, Then Parental Quirks Part 2: Those Things They Say

Happy freezing ass Monday, everyone. Just what we hoped for after our freezing ass weekend, am I right? No? Yeah, didn’t think so.

Believe it or not, Carin and I seriously went out for frozen yogurt on freezing ass Saturday. We felt like idiots at first, but once we walked into the place and saw a pretty sizable crowd we felt a bit better about it. We even found a new pub to frequent afterwards, so it ended up being a good day, even though it was freezing ass.

Freezing ass Sunday was thankfully spent indoors with the Guelph Storm and the Grey Cup. Both of those games, as it turns out, were maulings. Better yet, they were maulings that went in my favour. Any time I can watch the Kitchener Rangers get embarrassed, it’s a good day. And what can I say about the Grey Cup. I expected the Riders to take it, but I didn’t think they would run away with it the way they did. By the time Hamilton figured out they were in a game, it was too late to stop the runaway train and Saskatchewan never let up. That was fun, CFL. See you next summer.

Anyway, let’s start this freezing ass Monday with yet another contribution from Gill. Remember, you’re all more than welcomed to send in something of your own. The inbox is happy to be used for more than just jokes and stuff, although it does love the jokes and the stuff. So if you have jokes, stuff or a guest post, here’s how to get it where it needs to go.

When you were a kid did you ever hear “if you yell you’ll get wrinkles?` “this is going to hurt me more than this is going to hurt you.` or the other timeless classic, “I’m doing this because I care.` Did they often leave you questioning not only yourself but your parent’s sanity?

Even as adults there are those things our folks say that leave us wondering. Two prime examples are my own parents. My mom says “nobody’s perfect but me.` or my dad’s classic, “that’s like a fart in a mitt.`

Why do they say those things? My theory is that this is all apart of the quirkiness that makes our folks interesting at the least, and comparison of note worthy with our friends.

So out there in Reader-land. What interesting things do your parents say, or what did they say when you were a kid?

Bye for now

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  1. Hehehehehhe. My dad is the king of odd sayings. It’s so bad that I’m starting to say them, then people look at me like “What the hell did you just say?” and I have to go “Oh, doesn’t everybody’s dad say that? Oops.” There’s always his prized sentence from the move. “If I had a work ethic like that, I’d be laying in a ditch on the side of the road somewhere suckin’ on a culvert!” One day, I was annoyed with a committee I was on. I came home, and I said to Steve, “Damn it, those people couldn’t organize a shit fling!” Steve paused, then laughed his ass off. Then there are the disembodied pieces of songs and poems that dad loved to whip out…I’ve written about those before. Dad has a million odd expressions…just ask Steve about the ones I’ve whipped out…and then there are more that I know are dad’s…and I just don’t go near ’em.

    1. I need to know more about the ones you don’t go near. I’m sure there are some hidden gems there.

      Your dad needs to start writing some of these things down, because I’ve known you for like 16 years and you’re still busting out things I’ve never heard in my freakin life.

      As for my dad, he has his share of expressions as well, though most of his tend towards improving on existing swear words. He may have invented a few new ones while he was at it, but I’m not totally sure. One of my favourites is “I was running around like a fuckin’ raped ape,” used to describe being busy.

      1. Ah yes…I remember when you called some stubborn object a “cockhump.” I was like “a what?”

        Let’s see…dad sometimes describes someone who’s determined to do something as “like a pup tuggin’ on a root.” There was one expression about snapping at bees, but I can’t remember the beginning of it. I usually just stay away from the super racist ones…geesh. Dad could be bad.

  2. Just today I commented to Amanda about us sharing face pain and that made me think of my dad. If you’re complaining about say, your arm hurting, Dad would say, “does your face hurt?” You say no and he says , “it’s killing me”.

    Or, do you walk to school or carry your lunch?

    My all time favorite though, “life’s a bitch and then you marry her sister.”

  3. One of my favourite Dad sayings was when he called people bucket head. This came from the old Indian movies, er, um, Aboriginal, Native, whatever they are wanting to be called today…Anyway, he called someone buckethead, and when Mom asked him what on earth he meant, he said, “You know, like the Indians say, Buckethead.”
    Mom sort of sighed and said, “You mean pale face?”

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