Smack And Cheese

I’ve never had to live with a person who uses all of the macaroni and cheese cheese and leaves the rest of us nothing but noodles, but I imagine it would be annoying. So it’s perfectly reasonable that 54-year-old Brian Rossi, upon having just such an experience perhaps not for the first time, requested that Alex, his 20-year-old son, please refrain from doing that in future. But since we here at Vomit Comet World HQ rarely deal in the perfectly reasonable, you know how his request was received.

The sheriff’s office report said Rossi told his son, Alex, 20, to “stop using all of the cheese packets” and the two men then engaged in an argument.
Alex allegedly “ran after” his father during the argument “and began to punch him in the face and head,” deputies wrote. The son “eventually took Brian to the ground and continued to hit him,” the report said.
Deputies said “Brian had a fresh laceration beneath his left eye with bruising and swelling” when they arrived at the home and Alex confirmed he and his father “were arguing over macaroni and cheese.”

The younger Rossi also admitted to punching his dad in the head, but said that dad had been punching him too. Seeing no visible injuries, however, police decided to charge him with misdemeanor assault and battery. At last report he remained jailed in lieu of $1097 bond, a figure clearly pulled at random from someone’s ass.

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