Brother Brad has decided to share something he wrote for a college assignment with us all.
I wrote this here beautiful piece for my Children’s Literature class when I was in college. It seems a shame to let such a thing just sit on my hard drive without sharing it, so, here it is!
For the record, I got 100% on it.
I’m going to go ahead and take the tiniest bit of credit for it since I helped him come up with a couple of ideas, but this is pretty much all him.
Once, in a time not so long ago, there was a litter of piglets. It was a small litter, numbering only three. They had spent the first 7 weeks of their lives with their mother in a small pen, in an old barn. Their mother had told them many stories about what happened on the farm, what happened to the eggs the hens laid, where the calves were sent after they were born. She also told them what happened to little piglets once they were weaned. She told them that they would be put in a larger pen with many other pigs and fed so much feed that they would grow fat, and eventually be sold, for meat!
No mother wants to see her children fattened up to be eaten, so she had devised a plan. She said, “Children, when the farmer comes to take you away next week, wait until his back is turned, and run! Run like your lives depend on it, because, trust me, they do.”
This news frightened the piglets, but they knew their mother was wise in the ways of the farming world, so they decided to do as she said.
The day finally arrived. The farmer came in, scooped the piglets out by the hind leg, and put them in the back of his truck. When he had gone for more, they jumped over the tail gate and ran for the trees. Somehow though, they became separated and could not find each other again.
The first little pig found himself in a campground, and soon had a little tent set up for himself near a nice muddy swamp.
The second little pig, after some wandering, found a trailer park, and set up shop right in the middle of it.
The third little pig roamed aimlessly for many days, finally coming to a large city. While wandering the streets, he saw an old church with an apartment for rent sign in the window. He decided this was a nice building, and was soon moved in.
Several weeks went by, and one day the pig in the tent heard someone shaking the canvas of his tent.
“Whose there?” he asked.
It was the Big Bad Developer, who was only interested in one thing, building.
“Come on out, I want to buy your land!”
“I am not selling! I won’t come out!” the first little pig said.
“You better come out,” said the Big Bad Developer, “I’ll swing, and I’ll dig, and I’ll bulldoze your house down!”
The first little pig still wouldn’t come out. So, with a roar of heavy machinery, the Big Bad Developer ploughed through the tent, totally demolishing it.
The second little pig was enjoying a huge platter of fried chicken, when there was a thunderous knock on the door of his trailer.
“Howdy thaire, What Kin I do fer ya?” the little pig called through a mouthful of food.
“I want to buy this land to build a Service Centre,” called the Big Bad Developer.
“I ain’t sellin’!” called the second little pig.
“You better come out!” bellowed the Big Bad Developer, or I’ll Swing, and I’ll dig, and I’ll bulldoze your house down!”
“Reckon you’ll hafta, cause I ainta budgin’ from this here spot.”
The heavy machinery roared, and the trailer was reduced to a pile of twisted tin.
The third little pig was doing quite well in his church apartment. He had made many friends in the community, and was, mostly due to his over eager consumption of anything and everything, a well-rounded individual. He was hosting a party in his house for members of the Town Counsel, when the Big Bad Developer turned up on the scene.
“Come on out, I’d like to talk to you about buying your land. I would like very much for this town to have a Wal-Mart Superstore.”
The pig and his guests were flabbergasted.
“No! I won’t sell; this building has stood here for 169 years. You can’t just knock it down! We won’t have it.”
His friends agreed. The two lawyers employed by the Counsel went immediately to work, changing zoning ordinances, and within forty five minutes, the old church was a designated heritage site.
The Big Bad Developer was furious.
“I want my Wal-Mart Superstore, and I’ll have it! Zoning ordinance or not, I’ll swing, and I’ll dig, and I’ll bulldoze your house down!”
Just as the Big Bad Developer fired up his big bulldozer, the police arrived and dragged the Big Bad Developer off to jail for not only disturbing the peace, but also for attempting to destroy a local heritage site.
The third little pig lived happily in his church home for many years after, and could often be heard telling the story of his childhood to his grandchildren.
The moral of this story is, you can’t always pave paradise to put up a parking lot.
This is not only a top-quality piece of writing/entertainment, but proof positive that not all guest posts are created equal. Well played, Steve’s Brother Brad!! This just made my week! And this comes from an Olympics addict who spent most of yesterday on the Name of the Year site. 🙂
Hahaha I’d forgotten how awesome that piece was. I knew it was awesome, but forgot all of its awesomeness.
Yeah. I thought Gill would write an occasional thing…I had no idea the monster we had created.
I said the same thing to Brad about forgetting how good this was.
And lol at guest posts not being created equal.
Thanks for reading the poem.
I did toy with the idea of publishing it, but didn’t know how.
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