I Understand Giving Your Ex His Stuff Back, But This Is A Bit Much

Being cheated on and dumped is a pretty shitty feeling. And naturally, there are several ways one might react when it happens. Some folks cry out their eyes, some folks throw glasses, some folks throw back a few glasses, some yell and scream and still others take it all in stride and do their best to move on.

And then there are the Torz Reynolds’ of the world, who respond to such situations by cutting out the tattoo she got to celebrate the relationship and sending it by registered mail to her ex’s new house in a gift wrapped jar.

This is generally the part where I’d wonder aloud exactly what in the actual steaming fuck is wrong with this woman, but the simple fact that she up to this point had willingly roamed the earth with the words “Chopper’s Bitch” inked into her arm tells me basically everything I need to know.

Torz Reynolds thought her boyfriend, Stuart “Chopper” May, was moving out to take a job in Alaska. But she later found out he was staying in London and moving in with his new girlfriend, with whom he’d been having an affair for six months.

Reynolds, being sensible, decided to extract revenge by sawing off her “Chopper’s Bitch” tattoo from her arm with a scalpel and mailing the removed skin to May’s new home. The whole process, which also involved tweezers, took about an hour and a half.

“I can’t imagine what his reaction was,” she said. “I wish I could have been there to see it.”

If he had a reaction, he’s so far decided to keep it to himself. Whether that’s due to smart decision making or because it’s hard to talk while you’re hyperventilating with your head in a toilet is yet to be determined.

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