I Can’t Drink Lies!

Simply Orange’s slogan is blatantly dishonest. Ok, so a lot of things about orange juice Simply Orange included are blatantly dishonest, but for now we’ll stick with the damn slogan. “What happens in the orange stays in the orange.” Oh really, fools? Your product is orange juice. Orange juice, the very existence of which is entirely dependent on someone smashing oranges to ruins. Or to put it another way, taking what’s in the orange out of the friggin orange. Unless you one day start selling me regular old oranges, I never want to hear that shit again.

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