Shot Pocket

I don’t know whether or not I’ve ever eaten a Hot Pocket. If I think really hard I can recall something with little chunks of ham and gross tasting creamy cheese in it that I think might have been a Hot Pocket, but I can’t be sure that that’s what it was. For all I know it could have been some knockoff dollar store Hot Pocket with a name like Humidity Pouch. But if it was a Hot Pocket, what I can tell you is that if somebody were to eat the last one we had in the house, there’s no way I’m shooting him for doing so. They’re all yours, brother.

According to WLKY, police said Williams became upset when he learned his roommate had apparently eaten the last Hot Pocket, and allegedly started throwing tiles at him. The roommate reportedly tried to leave, but that’s when Williams allegedly went back inside the shared home, grabbed a gun, and shot the victim in the rear end, arrest papers obtained by WLKY state.

The bullet recipient, who was not identified, was taken to hospital and treated for non-life-threatening injuries…from the shooting, at least. Who knows what all those Hot Pockets may be doing to him.

And because I know you’re all thinking it now, here you are.