A group of six Republican politicians from Wisconsin and Minnesota took a break from polishing Trump’s knob or whatever it is that Congress does to let the world know that they neither know how the wind works nor that their own country also has forests that sometimes catch on fire, hurting and killing people in the process. They did so in the form of a letter addressed to Kirsten Hillman, Canada’s ambassador to the United States. In it, they chastise Canada for being a bunch of arsonists who don’t know how to keep the woods clean, and more importantly, for ruining their summer with all that damn smoke.
“We write to you today on behalf of our constituents who have had to deal with suffocating Canadian wildfire smoke filling the air to begin the summer,” it reads.
“In our neck of the woods, summer months are the best time of the year to spend time outdoors recreating, enjoying time with family, and creating new memories, but this wildfire smoke makes it difficult to do all those things.”The representatives ask how the federal government plans to mitigate the wildfire smoke, attributing “a lack of active forest management” as a major driver of Canadian wildfires, and suggesting that some of the fires began with arson.
“With all the technology that we have at our disposal, both in preventing and fighting wildfires, this worrisome trend can be reversed if proper action is taken.”
That person is not going to be me, but I do very much hope that someone who is good at data analysis will do a deep dive into these six and report back on how they’ve voted on climate and environmental regulations during their careers. You know, so we can get a sense of how they truly feel about taking “proper action”.
As for mitigating the smoke, maybe we’ll build you a border wall. We promise it’ll work almost as well as that other one. We’ll get started just as soon as you guys stop sending all your sewage up here.