I’m Sorry, I Just Can’t Help Myself

Note to journalists everywhere: When writing a story about a guy with a long history of molesting folks on the subway, there’s got to be a better way to describe him than “the 6-foot, 227-pound Johnson”, even if Johnson does happen to be his name. Remember, people like me read these things, and people like …

The 50 Greatest Comedy Sketches Of All Time

Here’s a really cool comedy history lesson, complete with videos for a bunch of them. Yes, I know rankings like this are subjective and that trying to explain why something is funny is a sure-fire way to make it less so, but there’s some great stuff in here that you probably haven’t seen before or …

Smile! You’re On Useless Camera!

A new study on the effectiveness of security cameras in San Francisco has come to the obvious conclusion that, no, the things do not in fact work. The only thing accomplished by the spying is that some of the crime that used to take place in camera range now takes place a few hundred feet …

Putting The Ass In Gold Class

We established long ago thatmovies and the theatre experience are for shit,but that’s not stopping a group of investors from pouring $200 million into something calledVillage Roadshow Gold Class Cinemas. What exactly is a Village Roadshow Gold Class Cinema, you ask. Well for starters, it’s a place where a movie ticket will cost you $35. …

A Penny Saved Is A Nickel Down The Drain

There’s a chance, albeit a slim one, that theditch the pennycrusademight be getting somewhere. The NDP’s Pat Martin introduced a private member’s bill yesterday calling foran end to the pennyin Canada for all the reasons I’ve been harping on, mainly that the things cost more to make than they’re actually worth and that people don’t …

He’s Madder Than Hell, But Him I Can’t Blame, If Treated As Poorly, I’d Feel The Same

Here’s reason 38 gazillion 547 why The Onion is the best site on the internet…other than this one of course. Stop Making Movies About My Books By Dr. Seuss Did you learn all but squat from The Cat In The Hat? Please tell me you fired the prick who made that. I would have stopped …

Dude, Where’s Our Building?

This story sounds like it was written just for us. Not only is it heavy on irony, but the ridiculous theft element is also in full effect. The Austrian village of Traismauer has a crime problem. Solution? Build a new youth centre and use it to get local youngsters involved in productive and positive activities. …

Today’s The Day The Teddy Bears Hump Their Picnic

Ever sincethat poor bastard in the UK found himself on the sex offender registry for having relations with a bike,Carin and I have had this odd fascination with stories about people humping stuff. It’s not that we’re looking for pointers or anything, it’s more about what will and won’t get you labeled a pervert in …