I’ve Got A Bone Or 20 To Pick With You, Dad

I am a big fan of chicken wings. I may be an even bigger fan of free chicken wings. As such, I can’t imagine a single variety of free chicken wings that would irritate me to this degree. According to an arrest report, Suliafu’s father returned home that day with an order of chicken wings …

Today In Bad Excuses For Worse Things

The reason I have this cell phone taped to my shoe is that the pants I’m wearing have big pocket holes that it always falls through, so that’s just the easiest way to carry it. I was absolutely not taking upskirt videos, in spite of the fact that you seem to have found some. During …

This Is So Convenient! Unless You Happen To Be Inconvenient

It’s so fantastically great when all you want to do is some regular people thing like travel or quickly buy something you need and the world tells you to go fuck yourself. The last time I had this experience was back at Christmas with Via Rail and its stupid un-staffed train station here in Kitchener …

Nice To See The Police Beating Themselves For Once

Not sure what sort of medical condition it is that causes one to slap the suspect around at the park in the middle of the day while one is on duty and has one’s uniform on, but apparently it exists. A serving PCSO from the Met Police has admitted masturbating in a south London park. …

Nice Work, Father One Job

I personally find this hilarious, but I imagine there are several thousand Catholics out there who would vehemently disagree with my assessment. A Catholic priest in Arizona has resigned after he was found to have performed baptisms incorrectly throughout his career, rendering the rite invalid for thousands of people. The Catholic Diocese of Phoenix announced …

Just Pick One. You’re Getting Scammed Either Way

So apparently there is an app (probably more than one but this is the only one covered here) that is, either deliberately or by accident, tricking people into thinking that it is the Android version of Truth Social, the social network that Donald Trump put his name on now that he’s not allowed on any …

We Do, However, Sideline Dumb People

Unlike way too many people anymore, I am not in the business of telling anyone what they are never allowed to joke about. In the right context, almost anything can be funny to someone. But that’s the thing. Context. Like let’s just say you’ve got a killer line about not negotiating with terrorists. Maybe save …

That’s Not Going To Help

According to an arrest affidavit, Lankford and the 50-year-old victim were arguing about the “cleanliness of the house” when Lankford “became upset” and “threw two tacos from the dining room.” The tacos struck the victim in the head as she was sitting on a couch. When cops arrived at the home in Largo, “the victim …

Next Time I’ll Cream You With The Eggs

Chocolate bunny used as weapon in Manitoba store theft At this moment, anyone who has been coming here for a reeeeeeeeally long time has only one question. Did the damn thing break? Sadly, we don’t know. In a news release on Friday, the service had details about an alleged theft at a store that ended …