Twitter Contemplates Suicide

Twitter testing new feature that advises users to rethink ‘harmful’ tweets I’ve heard tell that people still sometimes use Twitter for other things, but without harmful tweets and complaints about harmful tweets, what’s left? I’m only half kidding when I ask that. I don’t use Twitter all that much anymore, but whenever I’m there I’m …

The Border Isn’t Closed. Just Run Through The Loophole

Doug Ford may be an incompetent premier, but he’s not illegitimate Martin Regg Cohn is making a few different points in this column, but I want to focus on one in particular. It actually has little to do with anything that Doug Ford may have done right or wrong. It’s more about what the federal …

Just Implement Paid Sick Days Already, You Dufuses

I haven’t been as on top of the Doug Ford stuff lately as I usually am (no reason, really), but this seems like a good time to make a comeback. Can we all agree that this criticism of yesterday’s Liberal budget is pretty fucking rich coming from these clowns, who have done everything in their …

Gotta Go. Bone’s Dead

Never lie to your doctor. If you’ve somehow managed to lose a phone cable up your dong, just say so. Any embarrassment you may suffer will almost certainly pale in comparison to the week of unnecessary pain you’ll go through while they try to figure out why they can’t find the headphones you said you …

Uh-oh Uh-oh Uh-oh Telus

If you’ve registered to be notified by text message when there are COVID vaccine appointments available and have heard nothing but a combination of silence and chatter from your friends about how quickly they were able to book their own times, this may be why. The region is asking Telus customers who preregistered for a …

You Hitting The Curb Means I Fixed It

There’s an old saying that goes you can’t legislate common sense. Neither, it seems, can you appoint it to the bench. Just ask the Michigan judges who ruled that a tire rotation was completed by a mechanic even though said mechanic missed the very important part of the procedure where you tighten all of the …

Please Don’t Swing On The Hydro Lines, Say Officials To People They Think Might Somehow Understand Words

I’m not sure what the stupidest thing I’ve done while drunk is. Not because I’m usually too far gone to remember things like that, but because generally speaking I’m not the kind of person who does a lot that could be classified as seriously, terminally dumb. For instance, it’s rather unlikely that you’ll ever find …

2020s Best News Bloopers

Not that any of us is super pumped to look back at 2020, but if we’re going to (and we are), news bloopers are the way to do it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cg3njQMaSQ Lots of ball and sausage related content this year. Reporter’s cute kids need to run in on every newscast. I’m surprised the jacket on jacket …