Liberal-NDP deal paves way for Justin Trudeau to stay in power until 2025, at least On a surface level, I am very, very down with this. Nobody wanted the last election and even less of us are clambering for another one. Plus, if this all works out as planned (a big if since three years …
Category Archives: news
Another Reason To Just Wear Your Mask And Shut The Hell UP
If you don’t, you might just wind up having to serve the 25 years for murder that you’ve spent the last couple of decades successfully avoiding. Police in Poland have arrested a convicted murderer who had been on the run for 20 years because he was not wearing a face mask. Warsaw police said they …
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“Can I Bring This In Here?” “Neigh Neigh.”
I’m so sick. Please, get me to a hospital right away. But first, bring me a stuffed toy, a knife and some ivermectin. A COVID-19 patient tried to sneak the anti-parasite drug ivermectin into Windsor Regional Hospital by hiding it inside a stuffed animal, according to an internal memo sent to staff at the Ontario …
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2021’s Best News Bloopers
Watch this, talk to your drugs about kids, go out the door and take a dump, and be sure to get someone to look at that bulging…what? of yours.
I’m In Fish
If you’ve ever heard the term no-win situation and aren’t quite sure what it means, it’s this. Diving into the water to escape a giant swarm of bees is a perfectly sensible thing to do. The fact that the lake full of piranhas had other plans for you is out of your hands. The incident …
If You Can Walk Around Offering People Nuts, I Can Too
Let’s get the good news out of the way first. Samson Hardridge is a pretty cool name. Unfortunately, the “Hard” part looks like it may be a little too on the nose. According to the complaint, Friday’s incident began when passenger Samson Hardridge, 33, of Lancaster, Calif., got up during the flight to use the …
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Dude, Where’s My Car? Yours Is Wedged In That House Over There
The closest I’ve ever come to a frantic late night search for a car is that time we couldn’t get a damn taxi for hours after a night out. But at no point during that entire ordeal did the idea of stealing another car so I could search for one, getting it stuck on some …
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Have You Ever Thought About Making This Place Into An Airbnb? Here’s Some Cash To Get You Started. Sorry About The Window
Not sure about you guys, but unless this is one of those drunken wrong house situations, if I’m the police I’m asking questions about where a guy who needs to break into a stranger’s place for a snack, a drink, a bath and a nap got $200 worth of apology money. There might be more …
This Is Bob. I’m Lost In The Snow Right Now, So Please Introduce Yourself And Try Calling Again Later
Listen. I really do not enjoy being on the phone. If I have a reason to not take a call, I am taking advantage of that reason nearly 100 percent of the time. So with that said, I really tried going into this story with an open mind. Honest, I did. But dear god, you …
More Than The Lights Were Flashing
Investigators say that Terry Majors, 30, called 911 Thursday afternoon seeking medical assistance. But once inside a Sunstar ambulance, Majors allegedly removed his clothes and began masturbating, according to a misdemeanor criminal complaint. Majors, who “was wearing a condom” at the time, was “looking at EMTs that were trying to treat him” while he was …