Wow. We have decided that instead of telling aliens that we come in peace, etc. a commercial for Doritos would be a better message. I wonder if we’ll get anything back.
Category Archives: news
Power Stupidity
Last week I read about a couple of women who decided to power wash their toddler. I really didn’t know what to say then. The kid and parents hadn’t been found. I just couldn’t believe someone would think spraying a toddler with the same force you would spray a car would be a good idea. …
Sing Solo…So Low They Can’t Hear You!
Um, here’s my chance to look like an idiot. My geography sucks, but aren’t Thailand and the Philippines neighbours? If they are, which I’m pretty sure they are, they have similar militant stances on Caraoke. First, we had our poor unfortunate tone-deaf soul who died in a Philippine caraoke bar, and now we have 8 …
Wrong Number, Big Mistake
Ya know, if you’re going to call a friend at midnight to announce that you killed all the bad guys in your videogame by saying “I have killed them all”,ya might wanna triple check that you’re dialing the right number, Especially if you’re Thomas Ballard, who has an outstanding warrant for his arrest. It wasn’t …
Let Me Tell Ya ‘Bout The Birds And The Bees…Cuz It’s My Job Now
Quebec education reforms cutting back sex ed Sweeping Quebec education reform is eliminating class time for sex ed and asking teachers to talk about the birds and bees in all classes, from math to gym. Math to gym? Well ok, Gym I can kind of understand because hey, sex is exercise, but math? What’s that …
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I Wonder What Kind Of Knife He Used
File this one under close enough. Charged with attempted murder among other things for stabbing his roommate during an argument isTimothy Stilletto.
What A Load Of…What’s The Word I’m Looking For?
If I were to do a bunch of research, then decide to publish that research and hope for it to be taken seriously, I would strongly consider not putting my own name on it. At least that would be the plan if my name happened to beDr. William Malarkey.
Sometimes The Lawyer Jokes Write Themselves
This story rules for 2 reasons. 1.The Manitoba Bar Association says that it can’t afford to hire a lawyer,which is high comedy.2. The president of the Manitoba Bar Association is named Mike Law, which is also pretty great.
I Guess The Classes Aren’t Working
A 27-year-old man is facing up to 120 days worth of jail time after an incident that saw him assault a 59-year-old woman and hit a 63-year-old man with his anger management homework. Justin Boudin, 27, was on his way to an anger management class when he assaulted a 59-year-old woman at a bus stop. …
Duuuuuude. Look At The Size Of That Rock
A top academic says Moses was high on hallucinogenic drugs when he received the Ten Commandments from God. Maybe this explains the whole wandering around for years in the desert thing too.