High School officials in Fort Myers, Florida haveturned down an invitation from the organizers of London’s 2007 New Year’s Day parade,because they feel that the members of their school band would be “safer in America” than they would be in England due to a greater likelihood of being victims of a terrorist attack there. “What …
Category Archives: that was dumb
Arresting People For No Good Reason, What’s More American Than That?
The Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission has announced that the State has begunsending undercover police officers into bars to arrest drunk people for being drunk. According to commission spokesperson Carolyn Beck, the first of the sting operations, which are designed to prevent drunken mishaps before they happen, took place recently in a suburb of Dallas and …
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Who Knew?
Scientists: masturbation not as good as sex More details on this developing story will be published in the next issue of Duh Magazine.
I’m A Professional
Given all of the talk in the media recently about the rising number of gun-related incidents in Toronto and elsewhere, I thought it was only proper that we here at the Vomit Comet use our vast world-wide influence [hahaha] to spread the message that guns, even though they may seem to some to be fun …
Who Put the Car in Career Fair?
Does this annoy you as much as it annoys me? I’m a university graduate. I’m looking for a job. I get an email and it says, “Guelph career fair.” I get excited! Woo! I can go and look at things. Then I read a little further down, and the damn thing is in Waterloo! That’s …
Wacky Days Are Here Again
Check out this year’s Wacky Warning Labels Contest winners. This year’s winner was a heat gun/paint remover which reaches temperatures of over 1000 degrees. The ever so helpful label on it cautions us ““DO NOT USE AS HAIRDRYER.” Wow, that was close. More hilarity/stupidity above.
How Did They Miss That?
Woman sent to male prison. According to police in Buenos Aires, Mrs Aguilera was checked by several policeman but none noticed she was a woman. A police spokesperson said: “She looks and acts exactly like a man, it was impossible to see that she is a woman. Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the …
That’s Nuts!
Here’s a nice story about a guy who cut off his own testicles because he told his buddy that he’d do it if his favourite rugby team didn’t lose that day. Happy Monday, I have nothing more to say.
Duh I Don’t See Any Problem with This, Sparky, Do You?
I’ve had the TV on way too much, because I heard something else that made me shake my head. A commercial came on for this place called Canada Reconnect. It gives prepaid phone service to people who, for one reason or another, have had their phone disconnected. Keep in mind that most of these people …
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No Zits, or a Healthy Baby? Oo, Hard Decision.
I saw something on the news that made me flip out, what else is new? There’s a drug to stop acne, I think we’ve all heard of Accutane. It’s been known before to be related to depression and higher suicide rates. Ok, that’s freaky. But this time, people are freaking out at the company for …
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