I saw something really really stupid that I just can’t make sense of, so I had to write it down. Picture this. It’s January in KW. Not only is it January, but it’s this past January, you know the one where if it wasn’t snowing its face off, it was impossibly cold. Someone walks into …
Category Archives: why?
Who Are These People Dipping French Fries In Milkshakes?
This is another one of those times when I’m completely out to lunch, so to speak. The Surprising Science Behind Why People Dip Fries in Milkshakes People do that? Like actual, honest to god people in the wild? I mean I’m sure somebody does because there are 8 billion people in the world and there’s …
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Why?
Why is my iPhone suddenly obsessed with getting me to mute notifications, especially ones from apps and conversations I tend to look at more than not? And why does hitting the “not now” button cause nothing to happen? Oh, and when I say obsessed, I’m not joking. The damn thing literally just tried to get …
He Is A Beavis And Butt-Head Episode Unto Himself
The substance of this article doesn’t much concern me. All I care about is why in the name of Geehosofat you would walk around calling yourself Spanky Wanken on purpose. I would wonder this on a normal day, but the old curiosity goes way up when you’re the Spanky Wanken from the Iowa Pork Tent …
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Your Name Stinks
Somebody must have had this thought already, but I just had it now, so… Why is deodorant called deodorant and not reodorant? Decluttering makes sense. It turns a space from messy to clean. De-worming makes sense. It removes parasites from people and animals. Deforestation makes sense. It turns a forest into not a forest. But …
Fireworks In The Daytime. Why?
All right, it’s blind guy question time since this is on my mind again because of what time of year it is. Can somebody please explain to me what the point is of shooting fireworks off in the daytime? The way that I’ve always understood fireworks is that they’re a nighttime thing. When it starts …
If You Still Wonder Why There Is Rage, Here’s A Clue
I have no words of my own about what keeps happening between police and people who are black. George Floyd is just the last in a long string. Listen to the song up there. Do you want to know something terrifying? I have heard multiple versions of this song, and in each one, they list …
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Clean Freak
I’m still at the Jack Astors. I was just in the bathroom. Whilst urinating, I observed a gentleman enter the room and proceed to wash and dry his hands before taking a leak. He washed and dried them again when he was done which is normal, but I’ve never seen someone scrub up before pissing …
Congratulations I Guess?
200 pens, 489 days: Cambridge man transcribes the entire Bible by hand Not sure if I’m mellowing in my old age or what, but as much as I want to bury this goober deep beneath the earth for wasting so much time on such a pointless thing, I just can’t do it. At the end …
Does Your Babyhole Need A Babypod?
Hey ladies. What if I told you that for 150 bucks you could buy a little speaker that goes into your vagina so you can play music to your unborn child? Don’t all line up at once. For $150, you can purchase your very own “Babypod”, a small speaker that can be plugged into any …