SummerSlam Signs

So I was talking to Steve the other day about some of the funny signs you at televised wrestling shows. I’ve seen some really good ones and he suggested that maybe I should take one of my own to SummerSlam. I’ve been to one or two televised events before and never bothered to take one cuz I just couldn’t be bothered. I’m not sure if I will this time or not but it at least gave me an idea for a post.

My person favourite sign that I’ve ever seen goes back to the fact that people get annoyed if they’re sitting behind someone who has a large sign because it makes it difficult to watch what’s going on. The sarcastic guy sitting in front of me at the last RAW taping I attended had brought a sign with no other purpose than to annoy people as all it said was “The Guy Behind Me Can’t See.”

I thought that alone was humourous enough but I leaned forward and told him that I was partially blind and we both got a big kick out of the new double meaning of his sign.

The best one that’s been suggested to me so far for SummerSlam goes back to the irritating Diva Search that they’re doing on RAW. The sign would say “You Search For Divas. I’m Searching For The Remote.”

I thought that it might be kind of fun to ask the good readers of this site to comment with a few of their suggestions for signs that might be funny for the PPV next Sunday. Now I realize that these things normally work better on a site that people actually read and such but it’s worth a go here. Even if I don’t get one suggestion, the post was something for me to do.

So let’s see what ya got for me. I may not bother taking one at all but if something’s too good to pass on than I’ll take it. And i’m in the 12th row so who knows. Maybe your idea will end up on tv. Of course you won’t see it because no one buy’s the PPV’s anymore but you could rent it later on DVD or something and then claim that sign as yours when you watch with your friends. Of course they won’t believe you and this will all be a pointless venture for you….

Do it anyway though….

Another Landmark

So just one day after we hit our 9000th hit, we are now sitting on exactly 400 posts! Now considering that this thing has been open for 10 months and there are 2 of us writing, it really speaks to our laziness but let’s take a trip down memory lane about some of the very odd topics that we’ve discussed in our 400 posts.

One of my personal favourite things on this website has been Steve’s search engine results that he posts every so often. You know the ones where he finds out what the hell all you sick freaks were actually looking for to get here? We’ve had people show up on our page looking for everything from Randy Orton’s penis to Matt Stajan’s penis to Batman’s penis (are you seeing a trend here?) to midget love making to John Cena naked fucking other male wrestlers. Yup. It’s a perverse readership we have here but we still love you. (unless your country appeared on the negative side on yesterday’s post, in which case i’m surprised you’re back here today.)

There’s been other great events on this website. Like the ripping of our good friend Nick. Although that’s not so much an event as it is a series or every day occurance. It eventually lead to a ban on Nick as the rippings got boring and the insults got repetitive. Sure he’s back now but he’s behaving. And if he doesn’t then the second season of Nick ripping will probably create just as many priceless memories. Oh good times, people.

What about, Gee? Remember Gee? Oh nevermind. That was part of the Nick situation. How silly of me.

Or Satan? One of our most faithful commenters for a period was never far from slamming somebody mercilessly for the smallest of pointes. Whether it be me, Nick, anyone posting annonymously or Gee (oops) the attacks were always done with heartless disregard for human feeling. Kudos to Satan for creating some of our more humourous comments.

And what the hell ever happend to Greg Twilly? He was kinda funny… took shots at everyone including yours truly and then just kinda disapeared. He won’t be forgotten though. Thanks for the memories, old friend. Wherever you are.

There was our once a week advice column that may have lasted 3 weeks and those 3 weeks were not consecutive. There were a few small pieces of joy in them.

On this momentous day, let us not forget one of our more frequent guest posters, Carin. Never far behind Satan to rip Nick apart, she would also contribute thought provoking columns to be posted up on our main page. What a devoted Vomiteer.

And perhaps our most frequent reader, our European Princess, our friend from across the pond, our personal assistand as we tried to get this damn page off the ground (is it off the ground yet?) Karine!! The kind of blogger that Steve and I could only hope to be. One of the all time greats.

There’s been a never ending parade of stupid bastards on the news that Steve and I come across from day to day that we share here with you. These people must not be forgotten as they’ve granted us many laughs.

Or the occasional joke that Steve may find to put up here. Some are funny, some are not and many are just far too disgusting to do anything but try desperately to hold your lunch down. Oh but they’re a part of the legacy. Our leaper of a baseball fan will never be forgotten.

And lastly. SHAMELESS PLUGS FOR EVERYONE! Whether it be to our own columns, sites we enjoy and feel you should enjoy, our great friends at Salty Ham, our other bloggers that we correspond with. These links and plugs are what this place is all about. Feeling like a big shot when you’re really nothing at all!

So with all of this said I think there is more than enough here to justify you going back and looking over the archives. If you’re new here you’ll be in stitches over the hilarity that has occured here. If you’ve been with us since the beginning than it may very well bring a tear to your eye as you stroll down an emotional memory lane. Either way. Read over all that has taken place here. For these, my good friends, are the things that dreams are made of. Sad, pitiful dreams, but dreams nonetheless.

I’ll toast to another 400 posts. Won’t you join me?

Thank you for the love, my friends. Thank you.

Happy 9000th

So here’s something to help waste some time. Today we hit a milestone as a piece of shit webpage. A milestone that very few piece of shit webpages reach. Today we got our 9000th hit. That’s right. Over 9000 of you have no wasted your time reading what a couple of idiots with nothing better to do have to say on topics ranging from music, to wrestling, to sports to Randy Orton’s penis, to batman midget fucking or something like that.

So I thought now would be a great time to just take a look at the 9000 people who have visited here. I find it hard to believe that I’ll get through this without offending people anyone, but I’ll give it a go.

Let’s take a look at how many people have visited from various countries, shall we?

Canada 3782hits 46.31%
Ya you can always count on the homeland to come through with some big numbers.
United States 1832 22.43%
Ya, they’re loud, they’re obnoxious. They’re American… but we appreciate their numbers and their women.
Norway 513 6.28%
These would be Karine’s people. We thank you Karine. Though this was probably you logging in from 500 or so different computers around the country side.
United Kingdom 43 0.52%
43?? That’s it? You stuck up limey losers. Come on and support us. We have your damn queen on our money for shit sakes.
Australia 16 0.19%
16 Auzzies. Not bad. Apparently you can stop pouring back the beers and chasing dingos or whatever it is you do there to come and read our page. Kudos to you.
France 8 0.09%
It’s probably best that I don’t comment on this one.
Netherlands 7 0.08%
I dont’ think I know enough about these people to say anything… so thanks for coming.
Italy 4 0.04%
A double kiss to you good people.
South Africa 4 0.04%
Congratulations on getting the internet South Africa
Philippines 4 0.04%
Mmmm. Pool boys anyone?
Mexico 3 0.03%
I got nothing to say here.
Sweden 3 0.03%
I visited your damn country in February and you can’t even visit my site? Lazy bastards. I’m glad you choked again in the World Cup.
Germmany 3 0.03%
Me commenting here has bad idea written all over it.
India 3 0.03%
India’s 3 most wealthy families have finally been able to combined their funds enough to purchase a computer. At leas they’re putting it to good use on our page.
Denmark 3 0.03%
So while I’m in Sweden I figure me and the boys will shoot over to Denmark to check out the Karlsburg Brewery. You know what happens? I get there and it says it’s CLOSED. A cute little sign saying loosely translated as “Come Back Tomorrow”. Right. I’ll just hop back across the freakin’ Atlantic Ocean. The kicker is we passed on going Sunday since we figured there’d be a chance it would be closed so we waited and took the train over on Monday to find that Monday is the ONLY day of the week the place is closed. What the fuck is the matter with you people? Monday?!? There’s nothing else in your damn country to see. You have no right to close your only landmark. I got stuck seeing your Royal Palace and it was crap by the way. Alright. I’m done talking about you people, but I don’t like you very much.
Japan 3 0.03%
Nothin’ here to say
Brazil 2 0.02%
Keep those coffee beans comin’ and I got no beef with you.
Singapore 2 0.02%
I must be running out of steam. I’m sure Steve can come up with something for these fine 2 people.
Belgium 2 0.02%
Finland 2 0.02%
Don’t ask me why but I love the Finns. I’ve never met a Finn I didn’t like. I’ve only met 2 in my life but they were both real nice dudes. I hope it was the same 2 that are reading our site.
Greece 2 0.02%
Switzerland 2 0.02%
Damn you people, your efficient watches, yummy chocolate, and neutrality.
Hong Kong 1 0.01%
Czech Republic 1 0.01%
Now technically I should have no beef at all with you good people but I fuckin’ hate Dominik Hasek and Jaromir Jagr so the rest of you get lumped in with those 2 dickheads.
The rest of these places only contributed 1 hit each.
Ireland
GUINESS!!!
Kazakhstan.
Say Hi to Nik Antropov for me and stay the hell off my site.
Portugal
I dated a girl from Portugal once… She was nice. That’s about it for you guys.
Poland
Iran, Islamic Republic of
No sarcasm here. I truly hope you guys can get things settled down over there REAL quick.
Austria
Venezuela
Israel
Same for you guys. Peace.
Korea, Republic of
But you guys scare the shit out of me.
Malaysia
New Zealand
Fun lovin’ folk.

So that makes up our readership… or at least it used to.

Happy 9000 Hits!!!

Random Stuff

So I’ve finally got a few free minutes at work to look at some of the new stuff that BlogSpot’s got set up in the formatting of the posts. I dunno. I guess I’m impressed but they’re really made some stuff more complicated than it needed to be. Kudos for trying though.

So Steve asked me to change something in the settings for him last night and I told him I’d get to it today. Here I am, logged in and able to do it but I’ve forgotten just what the hell the whiney bitch wanted. (please don’t consider that to be “in fighting” because Steve really is a whiney bitch in all honesty.) So eventually I’ll get talking to him again and he’ll tell me what he wanted and then I won’t sign in for another 4 months and it will go undone. That’s just how things work around this place.

So I’ve got tickets to both Warped Tour and SummerSlam next weekend. It should be a great weekend, though busy. The ass hats that organized Warped Tour have once again put it up in Barrie after promising to stop doing that to us. This will be the last time Warped is held there before it moves back to the downtown Toronto area next year (although that’s what we were told last year too.) It’s not like it’s a lot further away from where I live or anything, it’s just a pain in the ass to get out to Barrie rather than just being able to see the show right downtown. Oh well, maybe next year.

This will be my first tim at Warped. I’ve been close to going the last few years but never got the chance. The last 2 years I was out of town for Goalball so I had to pass it up. It’s gonna be great. Some of the best bands in punk are on the show since it’s the Tour’s 10 year anniversary. Personally looking forward to Anti-Flag and Bad Religion. I’m going with my girlfriend so I’m sure at some point or another we’ll be stopping in to see some of the crappier, poppier bands but even that won’t be so bad.

The next night is SummerSlam. I still have no idea who I talked her in to going to that but somehow I did. We have tickets in the 12th row. We actually have an extra one as someone I know has backed out but I’m sure we won’t have a problem filling that seat. I know lots of wrestling fans. It’s just a question of finding one who’s not busy on that night.

Well I really only did this post just for something to do and I have nothing left to say at the moment so I guess I’ll get outta here for now.

Later

How Uplifting

Tuesday, September 30, 2053. That is my projected day of death according to deathclock.com. Considering that I’m 24 right now, that doesn’t sound like a bad little life,and it’s probably better than I deserve.

If you want to find out when you yourself are going to kick off, just click that link and give the system the information it asks for. It only takes a few seconds and it’s a good way to waste just a little bit more of that time you should be spending on things that you’re supposed to be doing.

Stubbornness

This was submitted by our good friend Bobblehead who has a tendency to show up, post a bunch of comments on a bunch of different things and then disappear again. She had some thoughts knocking around in her head and decided to write them down and give them to me to post, so that’s what I’m doing.

If any of you have something to say, you can feel free to write me at sendstuffhere@rogers.com and I’ll see to it that your thoughts find their way up here. But don’t forget, I don’t edit anything, and if your writing is bad, I can and probably will make fun of you.

And now, here’s Bobblehead.

Stubbornness

All right, you don’t know me, and I don’t know you. But I can say something with almost absolute certainty. You probably are, or you probably know someone who is stubborn about something. Stubbornness, you know, the ability to refuse to do something, not to be confused with procrastination.

So where did it all start? Is it a human trait, or is it in animals too? I’d have to say, from my point of view, that it comes from both. I mean, ever tried to walk a dog? Dogs, dogs are stubborn. They’ll pull you, they’ll take you where they wanna go, and they’ll be persistent about it. They willingly defy you, that’s stubbornness, for you.

Then you can find it in people. You know, when you decide that you should try and dictate how a person should run their life, and they know that you’re right, but again, for whatever reason, they willingly defy you. Now that’s where you find it in people. I mean, when someone’s sick and they should see a doctor or something like that, and it’s been going on forever and ever, and you tell this person, and he/she refuses, that’s bad. They’re being incredibly stubborn. Yes, two sentences ago, I did use the word “and” too much, so sue me.

But then there’s the whole idea of trying to get someone to you know, admit to their stubbornness. They’ll be like, “I’m not being stubborn, I’m just …” Then they won’t have anything else to say in their defence. They can’t admit it, and they can’t rationalize it to anything more than just perhaps a certain mood or something like it.

Now I’m a stubborn person. I will be very stubborn, with just about anyone or anything. But I was able to write this … whatever it is, with only nine fingers. That’s how bloody stubborn I am. I’m not even supposed to be typing you see, but I wrote this anyway. I decided a few weeks ago, that I would kick a door, a big metal steel door, before actually opening it to go outside. Well, shit, that didn’t work out so well. The door slammed on my finger, and I basically cut the tip of the finger off. I was in stitches, no I wasn’t laughing, for two weeks. Novacane, and pain were the key players for that two weeks. And now, … almost a month later, I’m still only with nine fingers, and I’m not supposed to be typing because it is really annoying to have to move one’s finger over every time one wishes to type you know an A, Q, Z, or even a 1. So you see, I have no idea how this relates to my original theme, but it was suggested I add why I have only nine fingers, so I chose not to be stubborn, and explained it.

It Sucks, But It’s Here

The newest edition of Sunday Night Fever has been posted over at Salty Ham and you can read it by going here.
It’s a quick one but I explain why there so I’m not doing it again here. Go read it if you really want to know.

By the way, Blog Spot can blow me. Ever since they changed their site layout, I can’t write html without it mangling it just because it feels like it. Seriously, I write perfect code and then when I publish it, the system takes it upon itself to plant errors in it that I know I didn’t make. But here’s the thing, it only does that with links, like email addresses or the link that I just gave you for the recap. It does however force me to manually write out all of my paragraph breaks and I have no idea why. So until I figure that out, it’s raw links for you all.

And before I go I’d just like to say fuck Blog Spot and everything they stand for. That is all.

Site Updates

This is just a quick note to let you all know that we’ve updated the links section over on the right. We’ve added some new things and fixed some others so that they actually point to where they’re supposed to. Give it a look and give those sites a click. Some of them are our friends, some of them are people we’ve traded links with, and some of them are just places that we like to go and waste time while we’re busy neglecting this place.

If you’ve got a site of your own and you’re interested in trading links with us, feel free to email me at sendstuffhere@rogers.com and let me know about it. I’d have made that into a link but for some reason the publishing system keeps breaking my html tags.

We’re not overly strict about who we share links with so unless your site is full of child porn or pictures of Randy Orton’s penis the odds are pretty good that we’ll be happy to link back.

Also, if you happen to have linked to us but we don’t know about it and haven’t linked back, email me with the address of your site and once I see that you’ve linked to us, we’ll more than likely be happy to set up a swap, because every once in awhile we can be cool like that.

I’ll more than likely be back later with something, now that I seem to have most of my posting issues corrected.

We’re Doing This Again Already

Here’s what I was trying to post when everything started fucking up. The references to weather are about Tuesday, I’m just too lazy to edit all of that out and change the flow so you get it as is.

Before I start doing this search term thing again I need to ask a question. Why is it that the coolest day of the Summer is the stickiest? It’s like 15 degrees outside but it’s humid as hell. I really have no understanding of weather beyond hot and cold so if somebody would like to explain this to me I’d be forever in your debt. Ok so maybe not forever, but at least until I get what I need and make it look like I’ve given you something in return. Hey, that’s kind of the way I handle most things come to think of it, just ask all of my ex girlfriends! Ok ok, I kid I kid, there’s no truth to that whatsoever. Ok, maybe a little. All right, maybe a bit more than a little…ok, I’m just going to start pasting in search terms now and shut up before anybody catches on and figures out my game.

We’re starting out on an ever so classy note with this entry.
21 Jul, Wed, 09:17:39
Yahoo:
john cena naked fucking other male wrestlers

This one confused me so much that I actually took the time to look it up to see if I could figure out exactly how a search like that could get here and other than the word “fucking,” I’m completely confused. But this does prove one thing, Yahoo’s search engine is a complete piece of shit. This has been Technology Insider and I’ve been your host, Steve.

21 Jul, Wed, 15:10:47
Yahoo:
How big is Randy Orton’s penis?

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times. I admire the determination of these people. Randy Orton’s Penis was one of, if not the very first search request ever logged on this site way back last October and they’re still going strong, I dare say outpacing any other request we’ve ever had, no matter how popular. But having said that, it should also be noted that giving up is not always such a bad thing. In fact, in some cases, like this one for example, it’s encouraged.

21 Jul, Wed, 17:38:37
MSN Search:
slutty bitches with big ass tits

I bet you this guy has some great pickup lines, not to mention a perfectly happy and satisfying sex and family life. Man, I’m not sure what was up with last Wednesday, but it must have been international pervert day or something.

23 Jul, Fri, 16:59:21
Yahoo:
dany heatley single dating

First of all, something tells me that Heatly has bigger things to worry about than where his next lay is coming from. But even if he doesn’t, I hope this man or woman [you never know these days] is a fan of a little something that we like to call the conjugal visit. Ok ok, that really wasn’t very nice, and it’s entirely possible that Dany might not even do any time. Everybody is innocent until proven guilty after all. But here’s a word of advice to the person who did this search, if you ever do end up dating Dany Heatley, make sure that you’re the one doing all of the driving.

25 Jul, Sun, 00:00:27
Yahoo:
daylight dicksucking

I’m not sure if this person is looking for pointers or pictures but either way, I don’t see a problem. Oh God, I’ve looked at so many of these things that I’m starting to see the logic in some of them, somebody kill me.

And so ends what isn’t the best installment of this little game that we’ve ever had, but trust me, at the rate things are going, there’ll be many more and much funnier ones coming soon. I can hardly keep up anymore so I’m sure we’ll be doing this again before you know it.