Um, Oops

Wow! Without even meaning to, I just broke a kid’s heart! Hopefully I managed to put it back together.

I took Trixie out for her usual business routine. As we come out the door, we usually go up to the left into the bushes. If we cut to the left too soon, we hit a metal grate. I don’t care about the grate, but Trixie absolutely hates hitting it. I think it’s because her nails fit down between the slits. I sometimes call it the grate, sometimes the grill.

As we were coming back after she did what she had to do, Trixie headed the way we usually do. The only problem was all the kids were playing really close to where we would come back onto the driveway. For some reason, Trixie didn’t think of this as a problem until it was almost too late. Suddenly she was faced with a decision. Do I cross the grill? Maybe she’ll let me plough through these mini shrub things. Ah crap no. Hmmm. I can’t hit the kids. But the bushes are there if we go too far left and those are a lot of kids. Hmmmm hmmm hmmm! What to do what to do. I said to her, “Ah come on, I know you hate that grill, but just go!” Just then, the kids saw me and made way, all but one little kid, and I think it was a girl, because the voice said, “She hates what girl?” It was such a dejected voice, so heartbroken. I think she thought my dog hated her.

As quick as I could, I said, “No no, the metal thing. This metal thing. I sometimes call it a grill.” The voice never said another word. I hope she understood. That was so sad!

As an aside, it seems the kids and I have found a way to live in harmony. They don’t try and jump in front of her and give her treats, and if I think they’re anywhere near a relieving spot that I use, I just find another one. Plus she’s not such a novelty anymore. She’s just Trixie the dog who’s always around. Ah what a difference a little trial and error and experience makes.

Anyone For A Game Of Chess?

I thought I’d put this up here for anyone who’s interested. I may have to check it out since I cannot wrap my head around Chess, which is a shame since I love the feel of all the outside pieces, whatever they’re called, and I’d like to learn how to play. I’ve tried chess on a real board and Winboard, a computer version of chess. But all I accomplish is giving myself an enormous headache. Oh, and I lose. So maybe this will help me, and anyone else who is interested.

FOR IMMEDIATE DISTRIBUTION

Anyone For A Game of Chess?

The Accessible News Wire April 13, 2008, Indianapolis, Indiana USA

Chess has been defined many ways but most will agree that it is not merely an idle amusement but essentially in its essence it is a game, in its form an art, and in its execution a science. Several very valuable qualities of
the mind, useful in the course of human life, are to be acquired or strengthened by it, so as to become habits, ready on all occasions.

The current form of the game emerged in Southern Europe during the second half of the 15th century after evolving from similar, much older games of Indian and Persian Origin dating back somewhere before 600 A. D.

Today, while chess is one of the world’s most popular games, played by millions of people worldwide in clubs, online, by correspondence, in tournaments and informally, only a limited number believe that it can be played and enjoyed by individuals who are blind.

Anna Dresser and Alan Dicey will demonstrate to the Tek Talk audience that whether you are new to chess or a seasoned player, blindness does not have to stop you from playing, and playing well. It really is a game that can be played effectively and enjoyed by those who are totally blind.

IN their presentation, they will describe adaptive chess sets, discuss playing as a blind person, tell you where to get free lessons, and suggest lots of ways to meet other players – sighted and blind, from the U.S. and elsewhere – and develop your skills via e-mail, voice chat, and computer chess programs.

So listen in, then grab a board and join the fun!

Contacts:  Woody Anna Dresner, National Braille Press. 
Email: adresner@nbp.org
Alan Dicey, President, U.S. Braille Chess Association. 
Email: adicey@bellsouth.net

Date: Monday, April 21, 2008
Time: 5:00 p.m. Pacific, 6:00 p.m. Mountain, 7:00 p.m. Central, 8:00 p.m. Eastern and elsewhere in the world Tuesday 0:00 GMT.
Where:  Tek Talk Conference Room at:
http://conference321.com/masteradmin/room.asp?id=rsc9613dc89eb2
or
http://www.accessibleworld.org.

Select the Tek Talk room, enter your first and last names on the sign-in screen. All Tech Talk training events are recorded so if you are unable to participate live at the above times then you may download the presentation or podcast from the Tech Talk archives on our website at http://www.accessibleworld.org.

All online interactive programs require no password, are free of charge, and open to anyone worldwide having an Internet connection, a computer, speakers, and a sound card. Those with microphones can interact audibly with the presenters and others in the virtual audience.

If you are a first-time user of the Talking Communities online conferencing software, there is a small, safe software program that you need to download and then run.  A link to the software is available on every entry screen to the Accessible World online rooms.

Sign up information for all Accessible World News Wires and discussion lists is also available at our website: http://www.accessibleworld.org.

Media Contacts:
Robert Acosta, Chair, Planning Committee
818-998-0044
Email: boacosta@pacbell.net
http://www.helpinghands4theblind.com

Pat Price, Founder and Events Coordinator
The Accessible World Symposiums
Vision Worldwide, Inc.
317-254-1185
Skype: patprice1
Email: pat@patprice.org
http://www.accessibleworld.org

So there ya go. Maybe there’s hope for me after all.

She Wubba Wubba Wuvs It!

Yea! Heehee! I just found the coolest toy for the Trixter! It squeaks, but it’s difficult to murder! Wanna try, Trix, wanna? You have work to do. Everybody who has a power chewer dog but wants to give them a squeaky toy, get them a Cong Wubba! It has a squeaker which is inside a cong which is inside some material that has tails on it so you can tug, they can grab the tails and fling it, and they can squeaky squeaky squeeze it! I bought it at the local toy store, and as soon as I squeaked it, she ran for it! I’ve been wanting to get her something that squeaks ever since she did enjoy the squeaky doughnut…for its short, pitiful life. And I’ve found it. She chewed on it, ran with it, squeaksqueaksqueaked it, and it is only wet. There isn’t a single chew mark in it.

Oh boy, Trix, your toy box keeps getting heavier and heavier. And here I was the one who laughed at people who kept buying toys for their dogs. I remember thinking “Oh god! When I get this dog, I’m going to have so much preparing to do. I’m going to have to buy so much stuff. Before I went for Babs, I talked to some handlers. They told me about all the stuff I should have on hand for when she arrives. I remember getting off the phone, and shaking. I couldn’t stop shaking. I emailed Steve the biggest stream of consciousness-style message about how much stuff I needed, and this was like having a baby! Now I just keep finding stuff, and it’s fun!So Trix, enjoy your wubba wubba wubba!

Alligator Stew-Pidity

You know, when you decide to rob a mobile home, bringing a six-foot alligator along for the ride probably isn’t a good idea. What did he think. Did he think the alligator would defend him? Did he think the police would just let him go by because he had an alligator in the back seat? Or did he think at all? He’s lucky he didn’t become alligator bait.

In related stupidity, why would five 18 and 19-year-olds try to steal a little alligator? Let me rephrase that. Why would 3 of them jump in a pond full of little alligators and try to pull one out, without a clue as to what they would do with it? They’re lucky nobody got hurt.

Oh yes, and there’s always the old story of the guy who jumped in the same alligator pond, naked, as he had fifteen months before when he got heavily chomped upon.

And who could forget Poncho the gator and his meal?

What’s with all the alligator-wrestling lately?

GDB Has A Hybrid Car!

This is just a quick post to say that woohoo, GDB now has a hybrid car that will be used in traffic training, ya know, when they drive at us and up from behind us and cut us off and all that. How super awesome cool is that? too bad I didn’t get to go through that in training.

for the benefit of everyone in the known universe who wonders why I’m happy about this, let me explain. Have you ever noticed how quiet a hybrid car’s engine is? No no, how silent a hybrid car’s engine is? Now, remember that I hear traffic rather than see it. So, the more of these silent beasts are out there, the more likely it is I may meet one and not even know it until I’m a pancake. Trixie will do her best to warn me, but it’s hard to obey your dog when you have no earthly clue what’s happening and you think maybe she’s diving into the grass for shits and giggles. So to have a hybrid car coming at you in a training exercise gets you used to how silent they are.

so yea! Future GDB students will have that experience! Go GDB, ever evolving with the times.

Does The US Military Enjoy Getting Their Own Blood On Their Hands?

I don’t really have an organized thought pattern for this story, so I guess I’ll just start writing and see what comes out.

James Raymond was a soldier in Afghanistan. He lost the hearing in one ear and he developed a bad knee that needed surgery. He was honourably discharged and declared 10% disabled. They set him up to receive small monthly cheques, and he was told that he was put in the army reserve database, but not to worry because unless world war 3 broke out, he wouldn’t be called back. Now, he’s being deployed to Iraq!

What in the blue hell is the US military smoking? Sure he may only have the hearing in one ear and a bad knee now, but if he can’t move fast enough and he can’t hear where all the bullets are coming from, he may be an easy casualty! Sending someone into battle like that is like sending a lamb to the fucking slaughter!

They say that they’re going to give him a five-week medical evaluation before they send him for training. For his sake, I hope to christ he fails.

This Story Doesn’t Hold Any Water

Ok, a while back, I read a story about a guy, Chad Hudgens, a member of a sales team, who was held down while his team leader poured water down his nose as part of some kind of team-building exercise where he urged the team to work as hard to sell as Hudgens had to work to breathe. That’s just sick! Now, the guy’s suing them for what they did to him, and the company is saying it never happened like that.

At the time, I didn’t post about it, because there was too much he said she said. But now, the quotes have gotten too good. The story goes so far as to say that several people didn’t know what waterboarding was. They thought it had something to do with water-skiing. Yeah, riiight. I admit that lots of people don’t watch much news, but to not know what waterboarding is? Ok then.

Even better, the company’s lawyer says there would have never been a suit if it wasn’t for all the stuff that goes down at Guantanamo Bay. Ya wanna bet? If things happened the way Hudgens said they did, the suit still would have happened, just without the term “waterboarding”.

And what about this whole bullshit about Chad obviously knowing what was going to happen beforehand because he handed his keys and cellphone to coworkers? I probably would have handed my keys and cellphone to coworkers if I was going to lie on some muddy grassy hill as part of some exercise. Why lose something? Just because I got other people to hold stuff isn’t a sure sign I knew I was about to get waterboarded.

And the whole thing about him being able to lift a hand to tell them to stop? There were four people holding him down! Good luck with that, lawyer guy. Let’s see how easily you can get an arm out while four people are holding you down and someone’s pouring water down your nose. Let’s see if you’re even thinking about lifting an arm. I’d be too busy trying to speak, realizing I couldn’t, and then panicking.

There are so many scummy quotes in here that it’s insane. I think the company’s lawyer has done more to harm the company’s reputation than any throwing around of a given term.

I Have To Put This Up, Or I’ll Keep Giggling

16 Apr, Wed, 06:50:39   
Google:  
assful of juicy man goo

Well hello again Hardon Ricky. Nice to see you. It has to be you who searched for such a, um, graphic search term. Sadly, we’re on the first page for that queery, below some nasty links to anal videos and something called sex cube. Alrighty then. But the one in search of the man goo came here. Did the anal videos and sex cube not have any man goo? Or maybe it wasn’t enough man goo. What’s really scary is according to google, it could only find 41 search results for such a thing. On the whole internet, there were only 41 pages that even came close to delivering what our anonymous weirdo behind the keyboard was looking for.

I hope our searcher’s quest for man goo ends soon. Even though s/he didn’t find it by coming here, s/he sure gave me a giggle.