Vomit Comet

Well, apparently this afternoon I get my puppy. Still don’t know anything about it. We did a handle walk already. It was a little easier than the one I did at the interview, probably because I’d been warned about the details of it from the interview. It was cool. It’s really weird telling Tim to sit, forward, left, right, straight on, haven’t had to tell him to leave it yet. He’s such a nice dude. He was helping me because I wasn’t getting the whole wrist-flick thing for the handle check. Patience of Job I tell ya. that’s all we’ve done so far.

Anka, the housekeeper, is a doll. I thought I lost my necklace, turns out it got squished into my laundry. Woopsy doodles. But she’s a real sweetheart, made us breakfast and kept getting people stuff. Margery and I got a little lost, not really, and she was showing us stuf.

Showing us stuff? More like coming to our rescue and bringing us back to where we were supposed to be. I remember when we almost stumbled into the dining room again. She popped up and said “Are you hungry? Where are you going?”

Oh, Headrick is a toolchest. She was using the wrong person’s bathroom. We all have our own bedroom, but there are bathrooms for every two people, meaning Sharon and I share one, and I don’t know whose bathroom I was using. But oops, that won’t happen again. Headrick’s a tool. Oh well, nobody saw me do it, only reason I realized it was when I said to Sharon, “I lost my necklace coming back from the shower,” and she kind of didn’t go to the door I thought she would. Woops. Oh well, it’s all good now. Well that’s what happens when ya give johns to every two people. Too many johns! But I’m not complaining. That’s about all the adventures so far. I’m guaranteed to have more real soon.

I’m starting to like Tim the student a little more. He alternates between being cool and giving me the creeps. Very bitter man. He knows the other dick I was babbling about yesterday, and he thinks he’s as much of a dick as I do. Apparently he did similar things to him. Stupid dick.

Well Sharon just went out for her walk. Maybe I’ll scope out the place to see who’s hanging around. I’m really starting to like Margery, real cute lady.

Ooo boy. We got our goody bags! They have a harness and a leash and a play collar, and a dish, and…ooo what else? Ooo some reflective stuff for the harness…and a sterilized bone! a toy already, a bone! oo what else did I get…a whistle…..I think that was about it. A brush and comb too. The harness had like two pieces and then there was the leash and collar thingy…oh man…can’t believe I have it all.

We learned about how to come through doors with the dog, sounds like getting places will be real slow the next little while. Apparently the dogs decide to be real assholes and not sit and wait for you to tell them to go through doors so you have to take them back to the door and make them do it over and over and over and over again, until they sit and wait.

That was so unbelievably painful, making the dog sit at every door. How about the dog just stands there until you get the door open, and then you can tell the dog to go through! That looks more normal than the dog plopping down on its butt at every door. So dumb.

We get our dogs after lunch! We get them after lunch! Oh my oh dear oh boy! We get our dogs after lunch! People are out on handle walks now. I went on another handle walk.

That’s Ottawa speak for Juneau walk. Although I’d never seen a rolled up rug. It was just the instructor on the other end of the harness.

He taught me about what to do if the dog sniffs. lots of no leave it…and how to slow him down.

Note to past self: You should have paid better attention to that. That was a lesson you needed to use more often.

And he told us about busy busy. that’s doggy talk for go relieve yourself. that cracked me up.

What a dumb term. Busy? What, are we afraid of saying what’s really going on? At least some people refer to their dogs’ taking a crap as doing his business. But busy? How British. Oh, I think my doggy has to visit the loo!

For the first little bit, I guess you free busy your dog. So you let them out loose in the busy area. No leash. Weird! But oh well. Then I just stand there and wait.

No, past self, the word isn’t weird. It’s dumb! That would have been ok if we free busied for, hmmm, a day, if that has to be the way. But we free busied for way, way, waaaay too long! You will see.

That’s about it, but we eat in like 20 minutes. I’m hungry hungry hungry hungry! I feel like what the dog must feel like around feeding time. I keep hearing another handler’s voice in my head going, “foodies foodies foodies!”

Wow, my life is going to change. My cane stands idle. It’s weird.

Tim is so nice. He doesn’t make me feel on edge, but at the same time he’s testing me. Bastard. Well not really. There was this one practice exercise when they were describing how we would go through the grooming room door. I told him to sit and he said “why do you want me to sit?” I said, “Uh, cause the door opens away from me. Er, maybe I shouldn’t.” He’s like, “Confidence, confidence, you were right.” Bastard! He already knows me, hahha.

Well, next time I sit down to write, there will be a dog’s name in it. Ooo!
ooo! ooo!I’ve got 15 minutes still before lunch. Maybe I’ll go and find who I can find. Have I bored you guys yet? I realize that the way I’m writing this is more like a diary. So if you’d rather I stop, just tell me.

Ok, we had lunch, and scary Jane was there. Man she really sounds like scary Jane now. Oh she so does. She sat plop right beside me. She’s not scary…yet, although I definitely saw edges of it. She said she wasn’t going to be telling stories about me. Ok then. And then good old student Tim opens his big fat yap and mentions that I dozed off when Sue was reading the contract, not that that happened for long before it was made clear to the whole class that I was snoozing. He says it straight to scary Jane. I was so embarrassed I could have died. But Jane, after saying “oh no, oh no!” wasn’t too bad about it. I thought, “Oh great, there go my chances of graduating.”

I guess that wasn’t anything that needed to be worried about.

But now I wait for my dog. I wait. They took my leash. I sit, and wait. Anybody ever hear that before? I sit, and wait, until they come. Ok that was really dumb. I sit, and wait, until they come, and then I’ll be real, busy busy. Ok I’ll stop now.

There’s some water in my water dish, there’s all my stuff picked up, and soon I will have to stop abruptly and put this away because they’ll have a woofer puppy on the end of my leash. My leash. My puppy. Mine mine mine! Ok I’ll stop now. If I don’t write in this, I’ll pace. I’m listening for any sign of sound, for anyone getting their dogs. I think we’re all waiting. I don’t think anybody’s got theirs yet. Tim has to go get the puppies and I sorta remember where the kennels are. I listen listen for knock knocks. We’re all in our separate rooms, in our separate sets of emotions. Everyone else is getting dog no. 2 or 3, and they’re nervous.

Yeah, past self, that wasn’t very smart to go to a class for retrains. I know instructor Tim told you that the class was very small and you’d get lots of individualized attention, but a class for retrains is shorter, and everyone else is coming in to get a new dog, but they know most of the techniques. They just need a refresher. Sure, they’re going to cover everything, but at a much faster pace. This is all new for you! You should have waited for at least a new dog class at this school. But this opportunity came up, and you grabbed it, scared as you were, because you felt you had to get it done and get moving with your life. That was bad. Your life can continue until you get the right match. Patience! You needed patience!

I just find it hard to digest. My life is going to change, today. Today! My cane is in the closet, locked away. That has almost symbolic importance. Bye-bye cane.

It was really hard, they showed me how the dog would have to behave at the van. It’s hard getting out of a van caneless. You can’t check the distance to the ground! I’m not used to that! That was nerve-wracking. But yeah we’ve done steps, doors, the van, and did I already say that they said the first few days the dog will make journeys real slow because they’ll misbehave and have to be told no and made to do it over?

Margery makes me laugh. She always says “jeepers twist.” What’s with jeepers twist. It’s cute anyway.

Man they take care of us. They bring us our food already done up. Oh oh I heard a knock knock. It’s my knock knock. It’s my knock knock. It’s my dog. My babs. Yellow lab, dark yellow with black around her eyes as if she’s wearing mascara. She’ll be two by the end of class, unsure of the day. She’s a lab. and her name is babs! And she’s mine, and she’s giving me a run for my money.

Oh, past self, you don’t know the half of it.

To see a picture of her, go here.

But must go, She’s whining, and I should probably be there for the poor thing. and then we’ll go to dinner together. that should be a challenge.

Man it’s a lot of mental energy telling her all these things, heel, door, sit, every move I make has a command for her. And she can get me confused. She can spin me around so fast I don’t know where I’ve been. Gotta go, have a question for Tim.

Wow, my left hand has leash burn from puppy. She’s challenging me, but we’re getting there.

No, past self, you weren’t. She didn’t respect you, and you were too chicken to stand up and show her who was boss, so she thought she was.

She was the only dog to try and jump on the serving counter. Try? More like succeed. Anka was quick. Down she came and red went my face.

And it’s hard to eat with dog. She’d wait until I had a swig of juice and then she’d be bad. How can a master with a mouth full of juice tell her no? Smart puppy. Oh well, day is almost over. More tomorrow.

I tried to enclose the actual journal in block quotes, because from time to time, I have to make remarks on what happened, notes from now to my past self, if you will. So off we go.

Here I am. Holy shit. I stayed up all night last night because I’m a big dope and didn’t want to pack right away. So I sat and talked to people on the phone, got the pants scared off me by some sergeant major who lives in Guelph and went to Guiding Eyes. I don’t know if I believe I have to be that severe. Oh well, anyway, suffice it to say that I spent the time I should have been packing on the phone. So, Headrick began to pack and found that she had to fill her suitcase and backpack to capacity, as well as a plastic bag. Almost split a few zippers in the process. Woops.

Note from present self to past self: That was your first mistake. Somehow, you did not realize you would be bringing home more than you brought, so you packed way too much clothes. Past self, there is a reason that they make laundry available to students for free. Even though you’re gone for two and a half weeks, you do not have to have a fresh outfit for each day. Well, part of that was the fact that when you asked if towels were provided, you didn’t get a straight answer, so it wasn’t all your fault. But it’s all about the laundry!

Really I didn’t pack that much. It was just this rainsuit I bought for shite weather that really mucked up the works. But I’m sure I’ll find a reason to appreciate it.

Oh, it was appreciated. I remember a muddy day in the grassy paddock.

My train ride was…eventful but pleasant. Got on the train in Guelph with this woman who was going to Ottawa to see the tulip festival. Her son is also pretty messed up from a brutal home-invasion and has spent a month in hospital. Yikes. Anyway, I got to talk to her, and then Sharon, the first classmate I knew about, got on the train at Gildwood. Oo that was exciting. I managed to cause a bit of a stirr unintentionally. I said there was another blind lady getting on at Gildwood and I was hoping she could sit near me. Then, because I had mentioned that there would be another of my class on the train with me, the lady who I was sitting with piped up, saying “she’s going for a guide dog too.” So the conductor’s looking around for a blink with a woof, there’s a blink, but no woof. Now, poor Sharon started thinking she had to bring woof back to school, and got all flustered. She’s cool. We talked in between falling asleep and wondering why our train kept coming to a complete and utter stop. But it was fun.

Then we got off the train, and one of us almost lost our stuff. Woops. Well not really, it was just that nobody knew exactly where her bag went and so it was great fun. Sue Hawkins, the head trainer at the school, picked us up. So far I have seen no sign of scary Jane, the head of the school and the lady who taught me orientation and mobility stuff when I was a wee little girl. You can tell what kind of a rapport we had, can’t ya? ***update*** I saw scary Jane. She came in when we were signing agreements. Luckily, that was *after* I got busted for falling asleep while Sue Hawkins read the contract.

My instructor’s name is Tim. He’s a cool dude. Very very very patient and unintimidating. must save file, Tim is knocking.

Ok, have gone on tour of building. Pretty basic but pretty cool. I’ve been handed my dog dish. That’s weird. I’m gonna get my beast tomorrow!

All my classmates are nice. Sharon seems like a nice lady, she’s got a hint of sarcasm which I think is fun. She thinks I’m funny for having two exploding bags.

And so she should. Exploding bags don’t usually take new contents very well.

She’s like what are you bringing a rainsuit for. I’ve hung up my stuff, everything has a home already.

It’s a little chilly in here…we have central air and it’s on full swing. I have a long-sleeved shirt and some jeans and I’m a little ber ber chillie.

I will be able to send from my rogers. I was starting to worry that I wouldn’t have access to my email account somehow. They really lock up the computer in the day time. You can only use it in the evenings.

Note to past self: You will learn that that is the biggest pile of bullshit you’ll ever hear. You have access to the grooming room all the time, and they never lock the actual computer room, so all you have to do is go into the computer room from the grooming room whenever you have free time.

I’m gonna have fun finding the computer room. Haha. But it’s in this giant grooming room with a huge bench and there’s an exercise machine in one corner, and the dog food is in here. And here’s something weird. In the room where the beast is, not the canine beast, but the computer beast, there’s a ham radio. Of all things a ham radio! Hello blind geeks.

But my three classmates are all different. Sharon is Sharon. Funny, young, cool. Margery is cool, but in a grandmotherly sort of way. She’s from Kingston. If she’d just been on a train a bit earlier, there would have been three blind mice on the train.

It’s too bad that Margery is no longer with us. What an unfortunate chain of events that was.

And Tim the student, well he seems cool, but quite bitter, bitter about blindness, but it sounds like he has good reason. He’s from Winnipeg. Wonder if he knows another certain dick from Winnipeg that I had not so good business dealings with. Man that would have sucked if said dick was a student here. Ooo! dangerous! Dangerous combo! I would have been able to be civil with him but considering the elba, which I’m using to write this, the Elba he sold me, is a piece of garbage, it would have been kind of tense. I like it, it just isn’t what it was supposed to be. And he owes me money…anyway enough asides, Tim’s from Winnipeg, flew in. I think he’ll still be cool.

My head aches. I mean I had lots of food, didn’t make it through even half of my train loot that I brought…I was too tired/nervous/everything in between. But Sue Hawkins is a doll. She bought us, Sharon and I, Timmy Ho’s bagels.

There are strange practices here. When you enter and leave a room, you have to knock on the door, no matter which side you come from. Apparently this is so that other people know you’re coming out…and if your dog is sleeping and you have to leave him in the room, the knock will let him know that ya might just come toddling on in.

If they’d only had tie-downs, people wouldn’t have had to leave loose dogs in rooms, but that school didn’t believe in tie-downs. Ok then. Whatever.

But it’s really weird to knock on a door while leaving it, to knock on a lounge door. It’s weird.

Apparently dinner’s at 6. I don’t know what to do with myself. I could wander,and likely will later, but I don’t wanna get lost in front of the instructor. As unintimidating and patient as he is, I wanna save the fuckuppery for another day.

Ooo! The email will open up in like 20 minutes. I can’t phone mom and pop until 6 cause that’s when my cellphone minutes kick in.

I can’t believe it’s happening. This place really feels like my temporary home. It’s like having a res room all over again. There’s a desk, which I’m writing on now, they have a clock, which does *not* talk, way to go ace, but oh well, I brought a clock radio, so suck it. There’s a nice big closet. There’s a place for the doggy dish to go, there’s a doggy bed. Ooo! a doggy bed! right beside my bed. Ber. a little chilly though. Wonder if I can control the heat. Dont think so because Tim was telling me where everything was.

I’m kicking myself for bringing a towel, I wasn’t sure if they provided them or not, I asked and got a wishy-washy anser. They did in fact provide towels. Arg! The towel was totally most of the cause of my split-zipper fun…that and the rainsuit. After all that, it better get put to use one day. Just one day and then it can be nice again.

Oh, and I realize that on top of all this shite, I’m going to have more to bring home. Thank god I’m taking mamma and papa transit back to Guelph.

Note to past self: It’s good that you finally got aboard the train of reality. It’s too bad you were almost too late.

Anyway, enough boring gabble that’s probably more mundane than watching paint dry. Tomorrow will be much more exciting. Later dudes.

Small update. Have eaten my first meal here. The housekeeper, Anka, is a real doll. She served us food and took really good care of us. She sleeps here at night. We signed our training contract, and a couple other small forms. Scary Jane remembers me! aaa aaa aaa! She said I was nothing but trouble, jokingly I have to admit. She sounded nothing like I remember. So it’s official, scary Jane remembers me!

After we signed all that shite, we had to practice exiting the premises. I already got lost once, not during the fire drill thankfully enough.

I’m very tired now. Will try and send this.

Steve, this is justice for you. I’m having to edit a doggy journal and fix all the lines. So you aren’t the only one to go through this.

Believe it or not, we’re coming up on a year of Trixie goodness. I left last March 18 and took that big plane-ride to California and had no idea about my dog. All I knew was they’d founda match. This got me thinking about all things dog, and I thought about doing something weird.

Back when I got Babs in 2005, I wrote a doggy journal, but I didn’t blog it. I only sent it to a few people. Some of them were thinking about getting dogs, some were going to get dogs soon, and some just wanted to hear about how things were going and were insane enough to subject themselves to daily emails full of Carin-blather. . I still have the journal and I thought it would be neat to post it here now, taking a retrospective look at those days, knowing what I know now. I thought it would be a neat comparison. Hopefully it will be interesting to more than me. So, over the next 19 days, because that’s all the training I had, *bristle bristle*, I’ll put up an entry a day. Hopefully people enjoy it!