Of all the sites on the internet, this is one.
Here’s today’s dose of fantastic irony.
An un-named 26-year old man attempting to shoplift $300 worth of hunting knives from a Meijer store in Michigan got into a scuffle with security workers who tried to stop him, during which he fell and was
stabbed in the stomach by yes, you guessed it, the knives he was attempting to make off with.
His injuries are said to be non-life threatening and he is expected to be released from the hospital any time now.
I guess when you’re last name is moron, you’re doomed to do moronic things like, oh, say, getting drunk and driving your truck into someone’s house.
I admit it has gotta suck when your name is Bryan Scott Moron. What a life that creats for you, even if you’re not prone to do stupid things.
I’m so juvenile. Despite the sad statement that this story makes, I just find it jumps out at me that a pediatrician’s name is Sarah Grope.
But it frightens me that there are enough teen moms out there that they don’t mind asking for a month-long maternity leave. But I’m also disturbed that schools say to them that they should be back at school the day after discharge from the hospital. That’s a little, ok a lot, extreme.
>Why on earth would you feel the need to have a combination taser/mp3-player? Why? Somebody explain it to me, because words are failing me right now. Fashion with a bite? That’s putting it lightly.
Every time I see the title of this story, I start laughing. You’ll see why.
If your room-mate croaks, and you really want his social security cheque, but the dude at Pay-O-Matic says he needs to see said room-mate, whatever you do, don’t wheel him down the street in an office chair before you go in. You’ll probably not get the security cheque, but what you will get is a crowd of upset folk, a police arrest and a fraud charge.
Dudes, you’re 65. You should know that dead people don’t sit up like live ones. You’re lucky the autopsy came back with natural causes as the cause of death, otherwise, you look like murderers! How stupid are you? I guess you’re this stupid.
The roommate, James P. O’Hare, and his friend, David J. Dalaia, both 65 and unemployed, placed Mr. Cintron’s body in the chair and wheeled it around the corner, south along Ninth Avenue on Tuesday afternoon, the police said. The men parked the chair with the corpse in front of Pay-O-Matic at 763 Ninth Avenue, a check-cashing business that Mr. Cintron had patronized.
They went inside to present the check, but a clerk said Mr. Cintron would have to cash it himself, and asked where he was, the police said.
“He is outside,” Mr. O’Hare said, indicating the body in the chair, according to Mr. Browne.
The two men started to bring the chair inside, but it was too late.
Their sidewalk procession had already attracted the stares of passers-by who were startled by the sight of the body flopping from side to side as the two men tried to prop it up, the police said. The late Mr. Cintron was dressed in a faded black T-shirt and blue-and-white sneakers. His pants were pulled up part of the way, and his midsection was covered by a jacket, the police said. While the two men were inside the check-cashing office, a small crowd had gathered around the chair. A detective, Travis Rapp, eating a late lunch at a nearby Empanada Mama saw the crowd and notified the Midtown North station house.
Police officers and an ambulance arrived as the two men were trying to maneuver the corpse and chair into the check-cashing office.
Oh well, you provided some funny reading.
We talk pretty regularly around here about how personal responsibility is a dying concept, but I think I’ve finally found a story that to me not only kills it, but also knocks over its tombstone and pisses on its grave for good measure.
In May 2004, 19-year old Sandra Bergen bought some crystal meth from a man named Clinton Davey. Not surprisingly, she used it. She subsequently suffered an overdose, nearly died of a heart attack and spent 11 days in a coma.
A little more than 2 years ago, she along with her parents decided to sue Davey for negligence. Well, the decision was handed down recently, and even though it was a default judgment because Davey refused to give up the name of the original source of the drugs he sold,
they won,
and can now collect damages.
I can’t imagine what this is going to mean for an already screwed up and backlogged legal system. Actually I can, but I’d rather not. By finding in their favour no matter how flimsy the technicality, the judge in this case has opened the door for any idiot who willingly ingests lord knows what to sue the strange dirty man on the street corner when something goes wrong.
I know that the law is the law and that judges sometimes have to do things they don’t like. I also know better than to expect common sense from a drug user, but I’ll say this anyway. Use your fucking head! If you go out into the street, give money to the creepy guy in exchange for something he probably brewed up in his bathtub using industrial chemicals and then willingly ingest it, you’re taking a risk. He isn’t taking that risk, you are. Suing a drug dealer because you had a bad night is like suing a brewery because you drank 18 beers and passed out on a sidewalk. Actually it’s even worse than that because at least beer is a regulated product, meaning that there are safety standards. When you’re buying meth on the black market you have no such protections, nor do you deserve any. So if anybody should be held responsible for your drug problems it isn’t the dealer, nor is it the police who failed to arrest him or you before the transaction could be made or you could take the stuff. The person you need to worry about is looking at you every day when you look in the mirror.
I know that a lot of people are really into buying clothes, and I’m cool with that. There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of something you like. But that said, if ever the problem of what to wear becomes such an issue that you need an internet closet assistant, it might be time to throw some shit away.
Closet Assistant requires the user to manually input their inventory of clothing. Users can simply upload a picture, or go the whole nine yards by adding names, descriptions (complete with category and subcategory), price paid, and purchase date. Once added to their virtual closet, these items can be combined with others to make an outfit. You can then share these outfits with others Closet Assistant users (on a MySpace-like profile page), or schedule what you want to wear, and when you want to wear it until the end of time using the calendaring tool.
Hopefully among the description fields there’s one for number of precious life moments lost entering socks into a computer.
Since I somehow managed to miss the hilarity of
Kenneth Sodomsky
even after reading it twice before Carin saw it and posted it, I feel the need to try to redeem myself. So…
1. With a name like this you’d think she’d know better, but apparently not.
Ordered to serve an extra 90 days in jail on top of the remainder of a 5 year suspended sentence for grand larceny and burglary after signing a court document with a note telling the judge to kiss her ass is
Judith Law.
2. I know the spelling isn’t exact, but you give me another way to pronounce it.
Arrested on charges of battery for allegedly groping 2 women repeatedly is
Larry L. Letcher.
There, that seems like a decent start.
So, let me get this straight. Microsoft is admitting that their own file formats are less secure. How? by updating Windows so it denies access to them. Hmmm. How about making them more secure?
It appears that they have realized that this is a bad idea and provided a fix.
Way to go Microsoft, loudly proclaiming that you suck at security.
I’ve seen a lot of dumb USB gadgets, but this one is beyond stupid. A USB Chameleon that, uh, doesn’t change colour. It just sorta rolls its eyes and pokes out its tongue. At that point, why bother? Do we seriously have that many available USB ports that we can buy pointless things like that?