Maybe They Should Steal Some Brains

Attention car thieves: If you’re stealing a car to get to your anti-car theft counselling sessions, it’s time to go to jail, boys. I don’t understand why these kids were getting counselling if they’re the worst offenders in the car theft department you can find. And that story about it being too cold to walk? Give me a break. But in case they didn’t know, here’s a message for them. You know there are these numbers you can call where you can ask someone to come and pick you up and take you somewhere. They’re called taxi services. Use one. Oh, you knew about that? I thought so.

I still can’t believe that some people are considered so high-risk that they are called once every 3 hours to make sure they’re not stealing cars. Is this all day and all night? If so, I hope they live alone, because I wouldn’t want to be awakened in the night for the check-in call. Ok, if you need to check on them every three hours, lock them up!

>Give The Gift Of Drug Company Trinkets

>Ok, let me get this straight. an operator of several hospitals and clinics in Minnesota has decided to get rid of all the trinkets that have been given to doctors from drug companies. They say it’s a conflict of interest. Great! I understand. But here’s where I get confused. They’re going to send them to Cameroon! How are a bunch of pens, notepads, mugs and other assorted crap with names of drugs written on them going to help people in Cameroon? It’s not like they’re selling them and giving the money to Cameroon. They just make it sound like they’re going to put the 20 shopping carts’ worth of stuff on a plane to Cameroon and send it on its way.

Hey, I’m glad they’re trying to find a use for all that junk, but…will the stuff be of any use?

Seek And We Shall Find

We’ve been noticing a lot of people on live search looking for a certain drunken bus fight on the vomit comet, the bus in Toronto where Matt got the name for our blog. Some of them mentioned YouTube. So, since everybody’s looking for it, here it is. Did I get the right fight?

Next time, if you’re looking for a YouTube video, try going to YouTube to find it. You’ll have much better results.

The Kinda Sorta Return Of The Penis Game

I’ve noticed something odd over the last few days. It appears that the penis enlargement spammers have finally started to realize that insulting potential customers by calling them names like Johnny Smallcock or telling them that their girlfriends laugh at them while they’re fucking bigger guys might not be the best way to…um…well…grow business so to speak. It also seems that during the quest to find the new great sales pitch, they’ve been studying some mainstream advertising in the hopes that somewhere they’ll find the secret to why it works so well and hopefully figure out how they can make it work for them. Actually on second thought, I’m so sure that this is what’s happening that I really shouldn’t be using words like seems and appears. Why am I so confident? That would be because since Sunday I have received emails with the following subject lines:

  • Reach out and bone someone.

  • When it absolutely, positively has to be rock hard.

    • And my personal favourite,

  • This is your thingie…This is your thingie on pills…Any questions?

I mentioned this to Carin and she said she hasn’t gotten anything similar, so now I ask you, the loyal Vomiteers, have you gotten any of these things or is the internet trying to tell me something it thinks I need to hear? If you have, feel free to share them in the comments or by sending me an email and I’ll post them. Who knows, this could be the most fun we’ve had since the penis game a few years ago. I guess this would be the penis game number 2. Kind of ironic in a way.

They Should Have Idiot Proofed It While They Were At It

A so-called “theft proof” police car worth about £75,000 was stolen from the Berlin Police force recently when 2 officers left it unlocked and unattended with the keys still in the ignition while they tried to chase down a separate car thief.

According to
Ananova,
not only did they wind up losing the car, but the suspect they were trying to take down in the first place also got away.

And in a wacky end note to the story that should have Germans everywhere questioning the competency of their protectors, police chiefs say that so far there is no sign of the car and no clue as to who may have taken it.