My Gang Can Beat Up Your Gang

I shouldn’t have to tell any of you this, but if you ever find yourself tempted to question the toughness of an area’s street gangs compared to that of the ones where you’re from, just don’t. Failure to heed this seemingly obvious warning is likely to land you in the same place as an unidentified man from either Texas or California [the police aren’t sure], that being a local hospital.

The man reportedly got into an argument outside a house near 1300 South and 1300 West over who had the toughest gangs, he said. The man said something to the effect that he didn’t believe Utah gang members were as tough as those in other states, Wihongi said.

Apparently the group took offense and wanted to demonstrate their toughness, as the man was “assaulted en masse,” according to a Salt Lake City police report. One shot also was fired during the beating, but no one was hit, Wihongi said.

The man fled into a neighboring house, entering through the back door of the unsuspecting residents. Police were called and found the man bleeding and crying inside a bathtub. He was taken by ambulance to a hospital to be treated for multiple blunt trauma injuries, including one on his head that was bleeding, Wihongi said.

This Bank Will Self-Destruct In Five Days.

Wow. Toy manufacturer Tomy has invented a piggy-bank to be released in Japan that, if you don’t top it up, will explode, sending your coins everywhere. Then, as you’re gathering up your coins, you are supposed to reflect on your laziness and inability to save. And get ready for this, it’s called “the savings bomb.”

It must be a culture thing, because I don’t think I’d go and buy something which I knew would puke up all my pennies if I didn’t religiously put stuff in it. What a weird thought.

USBlasphemy

This list of potentially offensive Christmas gifts is just funny. Christ on a motorbike? A toaster that stamps your bread with the Virgin Mary? A nativity scene including the Israeli security fense, complete with the wise men on the wrong side? Teddie-bear urns? But this is the reason it grabbed my attention. They have a virgin Mary memory stick so Mary can hold onto your computer files. Yee ha, more USB goodness. Have a look around and a good chuckle.

Was Everyone at Hershey On Drugs?

Yeah, this sounds like a great idea. Hershey has decided to put out a candy that looks remarkably like nickel bags of drugs. What could possibly go wrong? Hmmm. Let’s see. People could get wrongfully arrested for eating candy. Kids could accidentally get a hold of bags of drugs and swallow their contents thinking they’re candy. So what if the candy has the company’s logo on it. Ever heard of a counterfeit? Now, they’ve created a way for dealers to try and sneak drugs past police. Just brilliant. What were they thinking?

Horse Shit From A Different Direction

I wasn’t going to blog this, but it keeps calling me, begging to be mentioned.

There’s a group home that owns 3 acres of property within the city limits. They want to have two miniature horses for therapeutic purposes. But because of some neighbours being worried about potential problems, the horses have been removed because of a zoning bylaw.

Ok, the horses aren’t being kept in an apartment, they have a stable and a big area to run in. Their waste is being managed, and everything is being paid for by the home. They can’t get out to the neighbours. Why not wait and see if the animals are going to be a problem and then invoke the bylaw? They had already been brought onto the property before they were removed, so it’s not like removing them is a big hastle. God, some people are closed-minded and can’t take things on a case by case basis.

Maybe It’s Time To Make Some Room

Wow. I’ve bitched about people forgetting their kids in their cars before, but the story of Jennifer Carter loading them into the trunk because her car was too full of cargo to fit them where they should ride takes the cake.

Luckily, the kids weren’t hurt, and mommy dearest is being charged, but good lord. Here’s a tip for mommy dearest and others dumb enough to do this. Pack the things in the trunk and the people in the seats. Trunks are for things, seats are for people.

Sink Your Teeth Into This

I said a little while ago that we had too many creapy dentists. Well, we must, because a robo-dental patient has been created to be able to let a dental trainee know when something hurts. That’s cool. But, this female look-alike’s sensors include some on her breast area to detect if she has been touched inappropriately. Woe! This is such a problem that they have to screen it out in trainees? Yikes!

Three Wrongs Definitely Don’t Make A Right.

Wow. A few months ago, at Rhode Island Hospital, a neurosurgeon relied on his memory to know which side of a patient’s head had the problem and found out his memory wasn’t so good, and the patient died. Fast-forward to November, at the same hospital, when another neurosurgeon opens the wrong side of another patient’s head, and we learn that this latest case is the third case at this hospital in nine months, after a big review of their practices which happened after case no. 2 died. Um, yikes. I say again, if you need neurosurgery and you’re in the Rhode Island area, if you can avoid that hospital, do it!

This Beats The Donzer Song Any Day

Oh my. I wish something like that could happen with our national anthem. I’m trying to think of what words someone could fuck up to make something nearly this amusing. Hmmm. Anybody got any ideas?

Basically, Tony Henry, an English opera singer who spoke 0 Croatian, was askd to sing the Croatian national anthem at Wembley for a soccer game that decided who went on to the Euro 2008 games. But instead of singing a line that said “you know, my dear, how we love your mountains,” he sang “My dear, my penis is a mountain.” And all he did was put an r where a d should have been! Wow!

Damn! Can you imagine an opera singer belting that line out with all his might? Just envision him thinking about how he doesn’t know the words he’s singing, but this is their national anthem, so he has to make it sound like he’s just full, swelling, if you will, with mountainous…pride!

But here’s the cool part. The Croatians are not offended! They think of him as a lucky omen because his blunder made the players laugh, and then they won, edging England out of qualifying for the Euro 2008 games. Isn’t that just a kick in the, well, mountainous penis for Tony Henry?

I love his reaction. He’s all serious, apologizing if he offended the Croatians and talking about how he would never intentionally sing about his “parts” like that.

Man, some stuff is just funny as hell. I think we need to take a lesson from the Croatians, and if something laughable happens in our national anthem, we should just have a chuckle about it and let it go.