>Lizards For Christmas!

>Well, the new year isn’t starting off too well for poor Steve. He seems to have caught a doozer of a flu reminiscent of that bastard we both got a couple of years ago. Only this time, he got it first. Let’s hope I don’t get it, and if I do get it, let’s not have a redo of puking in the lobby, shall we?

So, since things may be a bit quieter than usual around here, I thought I’d review another Austin Lounge Lizards album, since thanks to Christmas and Steve, I have another one to review. Woohoo! Soon I’ll have their whole discography!

This one is called “Employee of the Month” and I have to say it’s pretty damn good. Let’s do it song by song because I like doing that.

Stupid Texas Song:
Basically, this song is making fun of how many songs there are singing the praises of Texas. Hmmm. Is my favourite line “biggest egos, biggest hair, biggest liars anywhere,” or “We’re proud to be American, until we can secede.”? That’s a tough one.

Hey, Little Minivan:
Imagine if instead of singing about dead man’s curve, Jan and Dean were singing about how great their family car was. This would be that song. “Hey little minivan, we’re goin’ to the grocery store!”

The Dogs, They Really Miss you:
Are you sure it’s the dogs that miss her, buddy? Didn’t think so. This is one of those awesome models of a country song. Hell they could probably pass it off as a real country song.

Rocky Byways
Hmmm. Weird song about some kind of redneck band or something. Made me chuckle but I’m not sure why. The only thing I am sure about is we’ve found the roots of chicken’s gone, gotta carry on.

Last Words:
A song about someone dying, and how one of the more selfish members of their family starts asking them if they can have their stuff after they die. Too bad things didn’t go the way that family member thought they would.

Monkey On My Back:
Literally. He fell in love with a monkey! I think. Lots of silly primate puns in this one.

Flatnose, The Tree-Climbing Dog:
Was there a news story about this that I missed? I feel like they’re making fun of something that actually happened. But a song about a dog who can climb a tree written in a sort of gospel style is funny anyway, and it also climbs into your head.

Love In A Refrigerator Box:
This is my favourite song by a longshot. I chuckle just thinking about it. It seems like a simple song singing the praises of growing up in a family full of love. But….they lived in a refrigerator box. Somehow that changes everything. Favourite lines? “but mamma walked us down to visit convicts at the jail,
we saw they were not happy, even though they lived so well.”

La Cacahuate:
So I have figured out that cacahuate means peanut. Hmmm. Well this is an instrumental. Let’s see if knowing it’s about a peanut changes what I think of it. Nope, just a pretty instrumental. I like it, don’t get me wrong.

Trailways Of Tears:
Oh the miseries of being big and famous. Somehow they don’t seem too bad.

Leonard Cohen’s Day Job
What it would sound like if Leonard Cohen took a dayjob as a mechanic. I love the way it has all the Leonard Cohen references, and a voice that tries to sing, er, fail to sing, just like Leonard Cohen does.

Momma Don’t Allow: Minutes Of The Last Meeting/Meeting Is Adjourned:
You know how that other song goes about “Mamma don’t allow no guitar-playin’ ’round here”? Well, in this one mamma don’t allow no above ground nuclear testin’ ’round here. Anybody wanna hazard a guess as to why this song only goes for 45 seconds? Curiously, it also says meeting minutes/meeting adjourned on it, but I have no idea why. If you look at the track list on the actual lizards site, those look like separate tracks, but they’re not.

The Other Shore:
Goddamn, I listened to this album the night before I took the bus home, and all I could hum to myself was “on the other shore, on the other shore….” If you ever listen to this song, it will crawl into your head. It sounds like some kind of religious hymn trying to tell you to not fear death, but not for the reasons you think. You see, on the other shore, all the possessions we’ve ever misplaced will be reunited with us.

And that concludes yet another Lizards album. I think this is definitely one of their better ones. Get this. I only have 3 more to go and I’ll have all their CD’s!

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