Faptism

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I do not understand the appeal of meth. I mean sure, maybe beating off in a baptismal pool in front of a church full of people is fun for some folks, but I am not those folks.

One person who is those folks is 21-year-old Zachary Burdick, who entered a guilty plea on charges of disorderly conduct and indecent exposure a little while back after entering a North Dakota church and doing the above.

A North Dakota man has pleaded guilty to stripping off his clothes and desecrating a Catholic church’s baptismal font during a methamphetamine-fueled rampage that was witnessed by 75 individuals attending mass.

As detailed in a probable cause affidavit, Burdick was tweaking on meth when he appeared in the church entryway as a 9 AM mass was underway. Burdick removed his clothes and entered the font, where he began “masturbating facing the altar.”
Churchgoer Darrell Kilzer, 68, told cops that he saw Burdick “splash around” in the “Holy Water fountain” before entering the sanctuary while masturbating.
The church’s pastor, Father Todd Kreitinger, was conducting mass when Burdick appeared and “dipped his rear-end into the Holy Water fountain and splashed around a bit before entering the sanctuary while masturbating.” Kreitinger estimated that it would cost $500 to clean and sanitize the font.

When questioned by police, Burdick informed them that he had been using meth and hash oil and that he was “trying to bust a nut.”

I do appreciate the honesty, I must say.

His indecent exposure charge was originally a felony, but it was dropped down to a misdemeanor as part of his plea deal.

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2 Comments

  1. OK the only thing that has to do with your post is the fact that these people took meth. With out of the way, I want you guys to read this and understand, not like you didn’t already, but just because you really really need to, why meth is not only terrifying, but evil, disgusting, and very much no good. I have never tried it, nor will I. No thank you. https://erowid.org/experiences/exp.php?ID=42729

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