Today In Because You Can Doesn’t Mean You Should: We Almost Had Cranberry Sauce And Mayo In The Same Jar

“I have a really terrible idea,” proclaimed Patrick Kelleher one day in 2008, “and I want everyone to know that its mine.”

And so it came to pass that a patent application was filed and Cramonnaise came dangerously close to being born.

Abstract
Two popular food items, mayonnaise and cranberry sauce, are mixed together to form a new food item which is to be called Cramonnaise. This new item is to be packaged and labeled with the new name—Cramonnaise. The name is derived from parts of the names of the ingredients, cranberry sauce and mayonnaise.

Whether enough people banded together to talk him out of it or he sobered up and gave it a second taste I do not know, but the patent is currently marked as abandoned, a reminder that there was a time in this world when sanity could still prevail.

I’ll admit I don’t much care for cranberry sauce, so I’m sure that’s where at least part of my distaste for this idea comes from. But I’ve watched a good number of people enjoy it in my day, and not once do I recall any of them saying ” this would be so much better if only it looked and tasted like off colour mayonnaise with chunks in it.”

But maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps this fellow was simply ahead of his time. Is this something people might actually eat?

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2 Comments

    1. You know what’s funny?  I was all ready to comment back with something like “wow, this is a real song with a real tune,” but then it got going and I realized that the 3-year-old nephew version isn’t far off.  I guess when they say super simple songs they aren’t kidding.

      He hasn’t done that one in a while.  The closest we’ve gotten to strange combinations lately was the other day when he gave uncle Brad the what for for putting carrots in a cake.

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