I Had To Make Sure. You Know Those Politicians Lie About Everything

Soldier shoots dead politician he was guarding Contrary to the headline, the politician was in fact very much alive up until the shooting, which ended up being a murder-suicide. This is disappointing not just because murder-suicides are generally bad, but because I really wanted to know why the security guy hated the dude enough to …

Come ON, Man. Be A Pepper. Just Once. Everybody’s Doin’ It, Dude

A couple things of note here: A drug investigation resulted in the arrest of a Bruce E. Huffer, which is what prompted me to open the post thingie. Check out what the cops confiscated in the process. During the investigation police seized meth, marijuana, blue pills believed to be Fentanyl, yellow pills identified as Gabapentin, …

Thank Goodness We Don’t Go To Thunder Bay

Steve was helping me out finding links for my WaddleLoo post and came upon the story of Dom’s kindred spirit. “Why do you say that?” I hear you asking. “Was he a golden retriever? Maybe he was a guide dog.” Nope. He loved chasing geese a wee bit too much, and chased one out onto …

Meat Department Joke Goes Here

There’s a bit of everything here. Racial slurs. Death threats. Apple throwing. Flower smashing. Relations with a refrigerator. Thank you, Seattle Police Department blotter. On Aug. 5 at about a 2:15 p.m., patrol officers responded to the 1700 block of East Madison Street following a report of a man using racial slurs and brandishing a …

Mamma Mia, Pizzeria, Someone Went To Eataria

A restaurant getting shut down by the health department because a group of people were poisoned there and it also turned out to be infested with bugs is most definitely news, but not the sort of news we generally deal with here. But when all of that happens to you and you’ve named your restaurant …

The Incredible Dr. Pole

Pretty sure I emptied the old pun cannon on the title, so I’ll just go ahead and leave this here. Sunderland man ‘watched porn as he masturbated over captured seagull’ Lesley Burgess, prosecuting, told the court Lee chased one bird before picking up a smaller gull – and was caught on CCTV looking at his …

🎶 Honk Honk Honk Honk WaddleLoo: Know Where The Geese Are and Have a Clue. 🎶

Man, I knew the geese were vicious as heck. I had heard lots of stories about geese attacking folks for their croissants near the University of Waterloo campus, and children getting chased by geese outside the Catalyst building where I work, among other stories. I know in the case of the children, their parents started …

There Really Ought To Be A Light There

If you’re going to spend your night out doing classic criminal things like driving with a license you don’t have while wearing borrowed pants and mysteriously meth-filled socks, for the love of god man, don’t stop at the imaginary stop sign! This goes double if the police are already in the area. Police located methamphetamine …

Wen You Hear A Whistle, Moooooooooooooove!

We don’t get good train stories very often anymore, but here’s one. It’s obviously not good for everyone, but you know. A pensioner was killed in a freak accident when he was struck by a flying cow launched 100ft into the air by an express train. Shivdayal Sharma, 82, was reportedly urinating next to a …

You’re Sure It’s Closed?

Don’t get me wrong, you should never, ever do this. But counterpoint, what kind of bum ass, bush league supermarket closes the goddamn meat department while the rest of the store is still open? That’s some bullshit is what that is. Court documents show that officers responded to the scene and ordered Gay to get …