Finding The News So You Don’t Have To

Last Updated on: 12th November 2013, 03:01 pm

It seems a lot has happened this week in the world of strange news. As I sit here scanning through the headlines over on,
a few things are catching my eye, so since I’m cool like that, I thought I might as well share. Besides, the site is hurting for new material so this is a good excuse for me to post something. So before I waste any more of your time, let’s get to it.

*A businessman in The Ukraine was arrested recently while he was
The problem? His sun spot of choice was a busy city street.

The man reportedly stripped down to his underwear, folded his suit neatly beside him, and spent the next hour lying on the pavement in Leo Tolstoy Square before police finally arrived to take him away. When questioned about his actions, he told the arresting officer that it was simply too nice a day to do any work.

*Police investigating reports of a house in Holland having been broken into were surprised to discover the 2 burglars
having sex
in the home. The couple, a 39-year-old man and 35-year-old woman, said that they had broken into the house because they desperately wanted to make love. the best part? Police said that the pair would not be charged with any sort of crime.

*A new ambulance survice has launched in Chile exclusively for
dying plants.
No, you didn’t read that wrong. Well ok, if you thought it said dying pants or something then you did read it wrong, but yes, I did say dying plants.

The fleet, owned by a company called SOS Express, consists of 4 green ambulances complete with sirens and flashing lights.

When they get a call from somebody with a plant in distress, one of the ambulances is immediately dispatched along with a horticultural expert who will do everything possible to save the day.

Question: Which of these 2 is a dumber concept, plant ambulance or pet psychologist? Personally, I’m torn.

*Researchers have figured out how late you have to be before you’re
officially late.

According to their findings, at the 10 minute 17 second mark, it’s time to put in a call to the place where you’re supposed to be and let somebody know that you’re not going to make it on time.

And while you’re busy being 10 minutes and 17 seconds late for something, a lot of stuff is going on around you. Check out this snip from the article.

“During that time, 12 babies will be born in England and Wales, there will be eight road accidents, 3,804 people will board an aeroplane and 590 million e-mails will be sent worldwide.”

It would be cool if they could narrow that email figure down to the number of them that have something to do with penis enlargement.

*I guess we can call this “Attack of the Bones.”

Malaysian police are on the hunt for a man who has been
flashing women
while dressed in a Darth Vader costume.

I’ll let this part of the original article set the scene for you.

“Priscilla, 33, a factory supervisor, said the man got out of his car, strutted about menacingly in his Darth Vader suit before flashing to 15 women workers standing at a bus stop at 7am.

“At first, I thought he was a die-hard Star Wars fan trying to impress us with his costume. But we were shocked when he showed us his private parts,” she told Malaysia’s Star newspaper.

The women were waiting for buses to take them home after their night shift.

When some of the women screamed, he jumped into his car and drove off.

“Next time it will not be Revenge of the Sith but revenge on a sick man if we catch him doing his act again,” Priscilla added.”

I’m digging the highly creative threat there.

This same man is also the prime suspect in another Darth flashing that took place at a second factory in the area.

*And we’ll finish things off with a couple that caught my eye but that I’m not taking the time to write up.

Danish Brewers strike for right to drink
Because Apparently banning beer from the shop floor and the staff canteen is an invasion of personal freedom even though they’re still allowed to drink 6 free bottles of their product a day when they’re not on company time.

Japan builds bridge for monkeys
But how do they plan to get them to obey the signs?

Ok, that’s it. We’re done and I’m sleepy. I’ll be back later, and Carin should be back again soon too, so check back for that.

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