Man Vs. Machine

Last Updated on: 25th July 2017, 02:43 pm

The city of Guelph recently passed a bylaw stating that all cabs must have their sign lights turned off when they are carrying passengers.

That sounds pretty mundane I know, but wait until you hear why.

According to Guelph Police Services Board lawyer Harry Perets, the law is designed to eliminate the confusion and safety concerns involved with hailing a cab. Yes, I said safety concerns.

Perets said some people jump in front of cabs to get them to stop when they see the lights on. Turning off the lights when passengers are aboard could reduce such scenarios.

Jesse Mendoza, Canadian Cab driver and secretary treasurer, said people will jump in front of cabs regardless of whether the sign lights are on or off.

About eight years ago, Mendoza said the company handed out fridge magnets to residents informing them that if the sign is off, the cab is occupied.

That didn’t deter people from jumping in front of cabs, he said.

Think about this for a second. I’d say for a minute, but then you’d probably go about as nuts as I did. People jumping in front of cars has become such an issue around here that not only did a taxi service take the step of handing out don’t jump in front of the large moving vehicle you moron magnets, but now, because that didn’t work, the city had to step in and pass into law what they hope will be a solution to the problem.

What they’ve come up with is fine, but I think I’ve got a better idea. Let the cabs hit a few of these idiots. Let’s face it, anybody who thinks that jumping in front of a cab is a wise decision probably doesn’t have much to offer the city or the world anyway, so what’s the loss? Why not stack up a few examples so that maybe people might start getting the message and catching a ride the same way every civilized person in this town does. Calling for one and waiting, or asking a parked cab if he’s free. And when somebody does get hit, send his family the bill for street sweeping and auto repair. They’re the ones responsible for unleashing these people on the rest of us, so why shouldn’t they take responsibility for them? That way the city isn’t out any money and our collective IQ is a little bit higher because the herd is a little bit thinner. Everybody wins.

It makes me angry beyond words that governments have to regulate common sense. We learn that we need to have respect for the road and the things on it from the time we’re old enough to walk. The fact that we need laws and light signals to tell adults what they should already know is fucking disgusting. I know it’s never going to change, but it burns me up that people like this are allowed to live in my world, and that they get protected to such a ridiculous degree while they’re here.

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