I’ve noticed something odd over the last few days. It appears that the penis enlargement spammers have finally started to realize that insulting potential customers by calling them names like Johnny Smallcock or telling them that their girlfriends laugh at them while they’re fucking bigger guys might not be the best way to…um…well…grow business so …
Monthly Archives: January 2008
Buckle Up Your Beer For Safety
Do you ever wonder if you’re an alcoholic? Well, if you buckle your beer into the passenger’s seat, even though you don’t buckle yourself in as you drive drunk, I think you can safely, er, unsafely, say the answer is yes.
They Should Have Idiot Proofed It While They Were At It
A so-called “theft proof” police car worth about £75,000 was stolen from the Berlin Police force recently when 2 officers left it unlocked and unattended with the keys still in the ignition while they tried to chase down a separate car thief. According toAnanova,not only did they wind up losing the car, but the suspect …
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Someone’s Brain Rejects Sean Paul’s Music More Than Mine Does!
I knew Sean Paul’s music sucked, but I never dreamed it would give someone seizures. Like I said years ago, get that babbling fucking idiot off the stage…er…radio! It’s for the safety of all!
Yeah, Doing Laundry Is A Shitty Job, But…
Ug! I’ve been upset that people have left their clothes unattended when I needed the machine, but never have I thought it would be a good idea to take a dump on their load of laundry! Gag! What a thought! He’s in jail, and I think if someone bails him out, they will be hunted …
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You’re Going To Jail! You’re Going To Jail!
Here’s another one for the bongo drum teddy bear shrine home-invasion files. Imagine this. You’re sleeping on the couch, hooked up to a machine giving you oxygen while you sleep. Suddenly, you’re awakened by a 27-year-old woman wearing only a shirt and underwear screaming “We’re going to egypt” as she tries to strangle you. Your …
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Paging Officer Irony
An unidentified 26-year-old Toronto man suffered multiple stab wounds to his face and arm in an attack at Van Gogh’s Ear in downtown Guelph over the weekend. The attacker has not yet been caught, but fear not good citizens, becauseConstable Marlowe Sharpeis on the case!
Best Celler?
I don’t know how to feel about cellphone novels. My first gut reaction is ug! Apparently, in Japan, a lot of people are throwing together novels on their cellphones, in text message format, then somehow getting them published, and they’re selling like mad! Some of them are on the best-sellers list! If text message-llike writing …
Introducing Microsoft Office Spy!
Microsoft really is trying to be big brother. Now, they have a patent out on something that would allow a computer program to track employee productivity through monitoring their physiology, and if it determined that an employee was stressed, it would tell the boss. I don’t know about you, but if I was working somewhere, …
The Wheels Of Consumerism Go Round And Round
The folks at bus radio must really think people are stupid. They market their station as a way to play nice music on the bus ride to school, play some public service announcements, and have little lessons on how to pass some standardized tests. But who do they think they’re kidding? All they’re doing is …
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