I shouldn’t laugh at this, because when you think about it long and hard, it’s not one bit funny. But forgive me. I’m sitting up late, wrestling a new set of maps into my Trekker, so I think my threshold for hilarious is down a bit from its usual spot.
Here’s a message for anyone who lives anywhere near bears. Don’t leave food in your car. Bears can get in, and they will. But once they’re inside, that’s when the problems start, at least for one particular bear, and one particular family in Colorado.
I guess some silly person left a peanut butter sandwich in the back seat. A bear came along, and…sniffa sniffa mmm! Sandwich in car! Me want sandwich! Hmmm handle. Open? Yes! Bear get in car, Sniffa sniffa sniffa must find sandwich. Lot of stuff. Toot toot goes horn. Hmmm bear don’t like noise! bump! Uh-oh, now car moving! Crash! door slam! Now bear can’t get out! Scramble scramble scramble claw claw claw…
Somebody saw the car sliding down the driveway into the thicket with the bear behind the wheel, and called 911. I guess, while the bear was trying to get to the food, it hit the gearshift, switching the car into neutral, and it rolled backwards. Police were able to open the door with a rope so the bear could run off into the woods.
But the poor, poor car. It was completely destroyed by the bear who was desperately trying to get out once the door slammed shut. The driver’s seat also had a new occupant. A big ol’ stemin’ pile of bear dung. And the bear might end up getting shot because it’s considered dangerous because it hunts for human food.
Now, that’s an expensive way to learn to not leave food in the car.