Watch Out, ‘Cause Here They Come!

Last Updated on: 23rd March 2018, 05:26 am

I haven’t seen it, but have you guys heard about the part in the new Chipmunks movie where a man named Edward Brown gets naked and then exposes himself to nearly a hundred people?

Thirty minutes into a showing last Thursday of the movie “Alvin and the Chipmunks: Chipwrecked,” the Chicago man allegedly stripped off his clothes and stood up from his seat in the front row of a theater in the North Riverside Park Mall.

Brown then turned to face 96 other moviegoers (of the kid and parent variety) and gave the Chipmunk fans a clear view of
his exposed genitalia, according to a police press release. He then returned to his seat to enjoy the rest of the 4 PM showing of the G-rated film.

Why would he do this? For a woman, of course. A woman he doesn’t know and can’t find, but hey, you can’t win ’em all, right?

According to the Riverside-Brookfield Landmark, Brown claimed he had been let into the movie theater by an unknown woman who directed him to sit in the front row and remove his clothes. She purportedly said that she would return so that they could have sex and do drugs together.

But instead of living happily ever after with your sex, drugs and mystery chicks the way so many of these children’s tales end, Brown was charged with sexual exploitation of children and disorderly conduct and is currently locked up in lieu of $100,000 bail.

Interesting fact: Carin and I used to know an Edward Brown. This more than likely isn’t the same one, but we haven’t seen him around town in quite a few years. Hmmm…

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  1. >And…the Edward Brown we knew was creepy. Eeewww. Shiver. Why is it when I hear that name I kinda freeze?

  2. >He started out so nice, too. But then again he was only ever creepy to you alone, not to both of us.

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