Man Down The Hole

I’ve never dropped my keys down a manhole, but just imagining it is enough to make me feel my heart sink a little. So when 49-year-old Richard Brandenberg offered his experience working in sewers to a woman who did, I’m sure she was thrilled.

I’m also pretty sure that the thrilled feeling began to dissipate when Brandenberg prepared for his big adventure by downing a half-pint of rum and smoking a cigarette. This, he said, was to help keep him warm in the cold water.

With this as our starting point, it should come as little shock to hear that things only went downhill from there.

Police say Brandenberg went down twice, emerging each time to have another smoke. Finally on the third try he didn’t come back up, and witnesses called 911.

He was hauled out of the drain by rescue workers who then performed CPR to revive him. He’s currently recovering in hospital.

No word on whether the woman got her keys back. My guess is no.

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