Please Stop Sending Money To Televangelists. They’re Ripping You Off And Killing You

I don’t know anyone who’s been conned to a dangerous degree, but I have known people who watch, believe and may have even sent them money a time or two though I can’t prove that last one, only suspect it. Even so, I hope that if hell is a real place, that there’s an extra special, extra warm section set aside there just for televangelists.

That video is 20 minutes long, but it’s worth it. It’s funny, it’s informative (especially if you’re starting to see the light), and unlike most of these scammy prick outfits it actually ended up doing some good in the form of thousands of dollars in donations to the Our Lady Of Perpetual Exemption church being sent to Doctors Without Borders, as opposed to Preachers Without Morals, where all that cash traditionally ends up.

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  1. Watching those guys trying to heel people makes me think of all the people who have laid hands on me to heel me…especially during my days when the captain wasn’t under control. I would not realize what they were going to do until it was too late. I would laugh as they’d talk about how they wanted Jesus to make me see…thinking “Oh, that’s not even the worst of my problems…”

    1. Amazingly nobody’s ever gone hands-on with me like they’ve done with you and some of our other friends, but I’ve been somebody’s unwilling congregation more times than I can count. Please stop doing that, people! I mean it’s great that you want us to be well, but there are better ways to express it.

    1. This is probably going to sound creepier than it should, but I think part of the problem is that to people inclined to do this crap it feels much safer to touch a little girl than it does an average sized dude. There’s also the blindness issue, by which I mean that people have a compulsion to touch us for some reason anyway, but especially you. You drew the short straw, you blind, small, slightly child-like non-threatening seeming person you.

  2. And don’t even get me started on people’s compulsion to reach across me to pet the guide dog, the bulk of whose body is between my legs. Um, guys? Kinda a no go zone.

    1. Trying to remember if you ended up putting that in a post or just talked about it. either way I’m glad you mentioned it, because anyone who does that is orders of magnitude more creepy than my statement about the safety of touching little girls.

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