Say That Again And I’ll Beat You With A Frozen Dictionary

I’m making a new personal rule.

If someone invites me to dinner and tells me that they’re “unthawing” something, I’m not going. Not because I’m picky or don’t want to hang out (well ok, maybe that second one a little). No, I’m doing it for my health. My dental health, specifically. Thing is, I’m not a big fan of breaking my teeth on frozen food, which is exactly what I would be doing were I to come over and eat your unthawed meal.

The list of foods I want to consume unthawed consists entirely of ice cream and popsicles. If you’re planning for chicken or steak, thaw that stuff out. You took care of the unthawing when you put it in the freezer. If your goal truly is to unthaw it, congratulations, you’re done. Now go find something in the cupboard or the fridge.

Yes, I am aware that “unthaw” is technically in some dictionaries, being used in precisely the manner I am complaining about. I am unmoved by this fact, and will use the time I will not be spending eating dinner with you to lobby for the firing of those responsible, because this is dumb. That something is so does not mean that it must always be so. Bad decisions can be undone. Why do you think Trump was a one term president?

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