I Heart Irony

I’m having one of those moments where I can’t decide what my favourite part of a story is. It’s either that 32-year-old Bradley Gellert was photographed wearing an I heart my marriage T-shirtwhile being booked on a felony charge of domestic battery by strangulation,or it’s this: The “I ♥ My Marriage” shirt was a promotional …

30 Minutes And You’re Not Free

I’m a pretty smart guy I like to think, but I’m man enough to admit that taking my advice isn’t always the best idea. for example, when I saidmaking a quick getaway after a robbery wasn’t necessary and that you should have time to go for some food,I neglected to mention that I didn’t mean …

They Don’t Make You Wear Those Things Just Because They Look Nice

If a judge decides to release you from jail to give you another chance at life but for whatever reason you decide that your burglary career isn’t quite over, remember to take your ankle monitor off *before* you start breaking into houses. This reminder comes to you courtesy of your friends at Vomit Comet, and …

Here We Go Round The Grandberry Bush

Antwan L. Grandberry seems like quite the classy guy. We don’t know much about him, but apparently one of the things the unemployed 19-year-old likes to do to pass the time is…how to put this…take out the old Grandberries and play with them in his back yard. As sometimes happens when one is engaged in …

Hit And Rum

Here comes today’s super-sized serving of stupid. It all started when Thomas McCarthy, 18, of 115 Weatherly Drive; Wayne Kenneth Renard Jr., 18, of 1011/2 Ocean Ave.; and Christopher Maxon, 18, of 5 Williams St., went down to the station to report that one of them was the victim of a hit-and-run accident, Salem police …

What Have They, What Have They, What Have They Done To Deserve This?

Not a whole lot needing to be said about this one, it’s dumb enough without me making jokes about it. Whenever PETA is involved, any smartass thing I could come up with couldn’t match the senslessness of the story itself. This time, the target of their dumbassarry is the Pet Shop Boys, a group that …

Remind Me Not To Get On This Guy’s Bad Side, Which Judging From The Crime Is Probably In Front Of Him

There’s not a whole lot to say about 42-year-old Daniel T. Doster Jr. here, but the less said about a guy who by his own admission has more than oncestood out by his mailbox and masturbated to show his neighbours “who was boss”,the better. The latest incident could net him 3 years in prison if …

Click On The News To Lose

Ok Carin, I see yourwhy is this news cell phone hammer guyand raise youthis fascinating bit of hard hitting journalism,a piece which surely belongs in the founding class of the Who Gives A Good Fuck Hall Of Fame when such is established. The story goes that the grand prizes in the Tim Hortons Roll Up …